My mom is sooo awful about my bd's mom. I left my daughter over there today and my mom says to my sister on the phone, "Yeah she abandoned Olivia today." And then to me,"Those people are total strangers to her and you just left her there without you." COME ON! They are her grandparents just as much as my mom is. And her dad was there the whole time and she knows him, he visits at least twice a week. Why is she so jealous and possesive? She makes really inappropriate comments about them all the time in front of my daughter, who is definitely IMO gonna pick up on those negative vibes. I want her to be close with all of her family, they want it and so many people don't have that great luxury. She's so lucky. How can I get my mom off my case?
I would sit down with her and tell her your concerns about how she talks about the other grandparents. Tell her that she can have her own opinion, but she needs to begin keeping it to herself. Let her know that if she has any major concerns she can feel free to address you about them, but not in front of the kiddo.
I had to do that with my mom and after a few reminders, it began to work!
I hear you! my mom calls my son's family "ignorant" "hicks" and all sorts of other nasty things. the only thing that keeps her from getting completely out of conttrole is when I remind her that children will always take up for the one being talked about. it just makes me so sad.
have you tried sitting down with your mom and talking about _why_ she feels the need to be so nasty? I know, in my family, i almost never do that. I just get so pissed off that i seem to be the only one who can make nice with people i don't care for for the sake of a small child. does your mom really think about the fact that talking about these people will make it harder for her grandchild to trust her and see her as a loving, honest, person?
you know...I always thought that my mom was the only one...good to know Im not alone in this!! (wow, have I mentioned lately that I love GM!) I have yet to meet BDs mom, however she has said some nasty things about me and my daughter...I guess this was all in reaction to the situation...so I am willing to let my daughter meet her when BD is home from Iraq and if she wants to be involved then she is more than welcome to be...and my mom will say things to Madeline like "well Im the real grandma" or "you can go but we are the ones who love you the most" and I know she is only a few months old and doesnt understand...but it has got to stop...I am always telling my mom not to say things like that...I dont want my daughter put in that situation...regardless this is her family too and it is what it is. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I feel you...I am sorry that you are in this situation too mama!! I guess my suggestion is just to talk to your mom...you have to make it right for your daughter!!
Yep! Same exact lines, too! I'm also glad I'm not alone. Thanks everyone.