My son and I really don't get along lately. I'm not around him much, I spend only a few hours a night with him and then most of the day on Saturdays. My mom watches him the rest of the time (and BD takes him Sundays until evening).
Today he will not listen to anything I say to him, he won't eat anything, he decided it would be a good idea to dump all of his toy boxes out and pretends he's hurt or can't get up when I tell him to pick it up. He tells me "no, I won't do it" to everything I ask him to do and he says "no, I won't stop" when I tell him to stop anything he shouldn't be doing (like climbing in the window to yell out to the neighbors kid who isn't even outside). Sounds like how kids behave with the "weekend-parent" right? And in our case, I do hardly see him so I know he doesn't see me as a disciplinary figure like my mom, but it's getting to the point where I am unable to control him at all. I feel powerless with him and he fully takes advantage of it.
I get so angry at him that I seriously contemplate letting my mom adopt him and not being a part of his life at all. I just don't know how to deal with him and think we might both be better off if I wasn't involved. The bad moments with him totally outweigh the good and even though I keep trying to make my time with him better, I always end up miserable and he ends up miserable because I spend the whole time yelling at him. It makes me want to spend even less time around him.
He's turning into such a violent, manipulative child. He's only 3, but he fits the criteria for oppositional deviance disorder. Whether he has it or not, I don't know, but it's really hard to be around him. Some of the things he does and says seem off to me. Like when he's told not to do something, he'll kick or throw whatever objects are near him. He also does little annoying things like hitting the back of the chair when someone is in it and when he's told to stop, he gets an evil look on his face and says he wants to cut the chair up with scissors. He'll give me a kiss and hug before I leave, but that's as far as his affection for me goes. Not once has he said he loves me after I say it to him and I'm starting to think he really doesn't.
I know it's a horrible thing to say, but he almost seems evil. My friends who have been around him say things like "I think he has ADHD" and my boyfriend thinks for sure that he has some kind of chemical imbalance. He was diagnosed with PDD-NOs when he was 2 which isn't really a diagnosis. I haven't taken him back for another eval and I really don't know if I should. I don't think I have the patience for all of this. I do love him and want what's best for him, but I don't know how much of my sanity I can sacrifice and it's wearing pretty thin.
When my mom is home and I'm there, he can actually be okay sometimes, but when she's not there, he turns into a completely different child.
I'm also worried about him and school. He's not enrolled in pre-school yet, but I don't know how he will act.
If for some reason my mom couldn't help with my son, I seriously don't know what I would do. I don't think I could handle it. I can't even handle being alone with him for 8 hours.