Dating out of your ethnicity?

When I hang out with BD's family, at parties and stuff, I'm pretty much the only non-mexican. Even though they like me (I think) they do a lot of making fun of the white girl. It's not mean spirted but it does get a little annoying. As I've gotten to know his family on a one on one basis it's gotten easier to hang out with them as a group.

I sort of felt like an ousider in my ex-husbands family, and we're the same ethnicity. I guess it's just another thing you have to get used to. In a lot of ways it's been a lot of fun, and I've really learned a lot, and had a lot of experiences I normally wouldn't have had.

I think this should of been titled "dating out of your culture". Your issues have more to do with culture than ethnicity. I haven't ever dated anyone of the same ethnic background (which is pretty much impossible considering I'm mixed) as myself, but I have dated someone of a different culture.

I've only had two serious relationships. The first guy (BD) was born and raised here. He is 100% Japanese, his father was also born and raised in the US, but his mother is from Japan. He could speak Japanese and he lived in Japan on and off growing up. When he was living with his parents still, he spoke in Japanese and practiced many Japanese customs and traditions. His mom cooked mostly Japanese food, watched nothing but Japanese TV, and you felt like you were in Japan when you were at their house. Eventually he moved out of his parents house and we rented an apartment. He didn't completely abandon his culture when we lived together, but he didn't exactly stick to it either. A lot of the customs were also tied into his religion and he wasn't as into it after moving out of his parents house.

I have never felt out of place with him. I didn't really grow up with a rich culture so I was happy to learn about his culture. We often watched subtitled Japanese tv shows and anime. I even visited Japan with his family. I learned how to make some delicious Japanese dishes as well.

The guy I'm with currently with is part of Japanese and Chinese. Both sides of his family have been in the US for a few generations and his grandparents are pretty much where the cultural traditions ended. His parents are both very Americanized. Neither of his parents know their ethnic backgrounds native languages and they don't follow the customs or traditions, or eat ethnic food either.

I don't know what ethnicity you are and you didn't mention the guy you're seeing's ethnicity, but I think over time you'll feel more comfortable with his culture. If you're around him often when he's with other people who speak his native language then you might learn a bit of it, but unless you actually study it and put forth the effort, you'll probably only learn the basics. Some languages are harder than others, so I guess it depends.

It also depends where you live. I live in Hawaii and we have a very diverse population. Mixed ethnicity/mixed culture couples are extremely common. I know there are many places that are less accepting of interracial relationships and if I lived in one of them, I'd probably feel out of place.

i've never dated anyone the same ethnicity as me either. but my parents are mixed and my dad's side of the family has always made comments about my mom being white- today still even though the family has quite a few "mixed" couples.
i think its more about culture than ethnicity. i've always noticed very different ways of talking, showing affection, being silly v.s. being mean, and especially manners- like being polite- between my two sides of the family. and i think its mainly from where each side comes from and the closeness between them. my mom's family is small, so they like to be very close. my dad's family is very large, and though they're close, no one seems to like to have an indepth relationship with eachother.
i've always identified more with my mom's side (the "white" side), just because they always gave me a more welcome and optimistic feeling, than my dad's (the asian side) family, who were constantly comparing all of us cousins on who's smarter, prettier, most athletic, etc... i'm not saying all white/asian families are like that, just mine.
just know though, that even if you learn all their different mannerisms and ways of behavior, some people are more accepting of people outside their normal culture than others. hopefully they're welcoming and include you, and not focus on you being different, even if its just jokingly, which can get very annoying.

I've dealt with it. Picked up a lot of Spanish and a little Swahili along the way, and it's not much harder than getting to know people within your own culture.

My step-dad is from Iran - so from the time I was 9 to even now - I meet his relatives that come from Iran to visit or move here and I hear my step-dad speak in Farsi all the time.

BD was born in Panama so when I met him at the age of 18 - I met his mother obviously and other relatives who spoke spanish. Like Suzaan said - BD's mom cooked a lot of different food ... and she was also Islamic, which is what my step-dad is ... so I got exposed to more of that even.

I was glad to grow up around that because in Iran - very very different culture than a lot of things in America. He gets a lot of stares, especially shortly after 9/11 ... and he lives in ND.

I don't know what to tell you about his friend's saying things ... my mom visited Iran in 2001 and people were taking pictures of her because she's fair-skinned, blond, blue-eyed and they would go up to her & touch her hair because they weren't used to people that looked like that. My brother & sister (step-dad & my mom's kids) were more comfortable than my mom was in Iran because they can understand Farsi more than my mom and they don't have the fair-skinned, blond hair like my mom ... I don't know how my mom interacted much with the relatives because a lot of them don't speak English ... she knows a few words like I do ...