I feel horrible saying this, because I love my daughter very very much, but I've had a tough time, ever since she was born. :(
As soon as I delivered her, my uterus wouldn't contract and I lost A LOT of blood, and also became anemic. As well, with the meds they had me on for my pre-eclampsia (which they stopped a day after I delivered), I was too weak and completely out of it for pretty much the whole 4 days I was in the hospital. I had NO bonding time with my daughter, I wasn't able to take care of her at all. Even when I left the hospital, for the 1st couple weeks, I was still very weak and needed a lot of help caring for her.
Well, I'm finally back to my normal self, except for a few things, but, while i love my daughter a lot and would do anything for her, I don't feel like I have the mother type of bond with her, it feels like she isn't mine...which is horrible to say, yet alone think. She's now 4 months old and I really want to have that bond with her. I'm a SAHM, so I take care of her 15+ hours out of every day, but I really need to know if this isn't as rare as I think it is, or if I'm one of the only ones who feels like this?
And most importantly, how can I have my motherly bond with her, how can I feel like I AM her mother? I'm a good mom, I just feel like I'm being a mother to someone else's baby? If that makes any sense? :oops: This is the first time I've said anything about this, to anyone.I feel like people will look down apon me or ask why I didn't give her up for adoption or something if I felt that way...
Man, do I feel horrible for saying this...I almost feel like i need to put on a flame-retardent body suit for the replies to come :?