in all fairness to myself it is hard enought to admit to doing si more or less put it out here for everyone to know how i do or did it and the reasons why ..Its in no way fun and I know I need help but insurance is a bitch.....I just want to offer my support and let u know that im here to talk.....privatley that is about anything u want......
for all the people had commented on other posts and this previous post
back to the si thing
fun huh?
methods?
certain triggers?
etc...
Are you struggling with SI yourself? Or just curious? I dont want to be rude, but I think this post comes across as very insensitive.. SI is an extremely personal thing and I know I'm not going to post the details in a thread like this. I may mention things in other posts if I believe their is benefit to the OP, but I really dont see the point of this thread?? Also.. Can a mod put a trigger on this please?
And the "fun huh?" comment.. totally innapropriate!!!
my methods are usually icing, cutting, and burning.
I have learned that it is better to view it not as a hinderment but something to be proud of with the right people. Not to let it get you down, if u feel the need to do it, do it . Just try next time to avoid the triggers. It better to view it as fun then something bad.
I don't think encouraging SI is a good way to go about it..
If there are mamas on here who are struggling with it, yourself included, then there are plenty of other mamas willing to talk about it and show support and try to help.
i must second i will never encourage anyone to si.....it is a very harmful way to cope and I dont think I have ever been "proud" of my si... I try to hide it as much as possible from everyone.
I don't think encouraging SI is a good way to go about it..
If there are mamas on here who are struggling with it, yourself included, then there are plenty of other mamas willing to talk about it and show support and try to help.
But encouragement is a whole different thing.
I agree completely. Support does not = encouraging the continuation of SI behavior.
It's probably not the best idea to share tips and methods. We are not a pro-SI site, but rather a supportive environment to help anyone who needs help, a listening ear, or a network of resources.
I really feel like you are abusing the space to just piss people off. At first it seemed like you really wanted a private place to post about your SI issues and needed discussion and help. It seemed like it mattered to you that it would be a private discussion. and now this?
I really feel like you are abusing the space to just piss people off. At first it seemed like you really wanted a private place to post about your SI issues and needed discussion and help. It seemed like it mattered to you that it would be a private discussion. and now this?
As a general rule, I don't think SI is something to consider "fun". For most of us, it's a serious problem, something that we are either seriously struggling with or struggling for years to overcome. I haven't cut in almost 6 years, and I still struggle with the urge to do it almost every fucking day.
As for methods, I don't like discussing that, either. Some people seem to have the perception that if you don't SI in a specific way, or your cuts aren't a certain depth, that you aren't serious and you are just seeking attention. I would hate to invalidate someone else's feelings by talking about how exactly I've done it, nor would I want to provoke someone to do something even more harmful to themselves for the sake of being "as serious" as someone else.
Not sure if I'm making sense here, but my point is if you, or anyone else need support and want to have a serious discussion about SI that doesn't involve talking about how "fun" it is, I'd be very willing to participate and share my experiences. And yes, I do understand that there is something to gain from SI, otherwise we wouldn't do it...but fun, no.
I agree with the pp, you were so worried about being annonymous and not having your issue brought to light, yet you are here talking about how we should be "proud" of our SI.
And, BTW, it's very difficult to "just try to avoid your triggers" when you are triggered by life, loud noise and other things that you have completely no control over.
I feel kinda bad i stood up for u in a thread stating that you needed a safe space and now i feel kinda abused.....si is a serious issue and i thought u were serious im sorry.....
borderline personality disorder is charachterised by chaotic relationships, ease of closeness in relationships, speedy intense relationships, and trouble with real intamacy. it also includes elements of attention seeking behaviour (such as suicidal gestures or cutting yourself so others can see it as a way of getting things focused on yourself)
i have been diagnosed with boarderline personality disorder and am struggaling with it and with the attention seeking cuts as well. it's rough and very hard for some people to understand. people do SI for many different reasons. some to deal with pain (they keep it secret and almost never discuss) and some do it to express things they can't put into words because of traumma and trouble in interpersonal relationships (these, like myself cut forearms ec and discuss the problem openly often).
BPD is often the result of untrated post traummatic stress disorder in childhood. Things like traumattic accidents, bad divorces, or physical and sexual abuse if left uncared for can cause a child to grow into a very chaotic adult. i saught help for my cutting and attention seeking behavior in my late teens at the request of a boyfriend who had complaints about me and was confused because he knew i was a good person and couldn't figure out why i seemd to loose it occasionally.
just some thoughts in case you are serious.
since we're being all out in the open and you're asking for tips (i use an exato knife and make sometimes up to a hundered small cuts on my forearm that don't even need band aids the next day but are sure to show. the act of cutting helps me discociate) i'll be all out about something else. needing access and attention to your cricis so quickly might be a sign of some issues that are real. they don't mean you're a bad person. they may just mean you need some help learning new coping mechianisms. i've been doing it since i was ten and i gotta say, it sucks.
i always make shallow cuts. always do things that some people would consider "not serious" and i believe that anyone else who does those thigns has a right to be as bothered and upset about it as they feel they ought to be. those little cuts might not even require bandaids but they've lost me boyfriends and lovers and almost custody of my son. they're a big deal. they're a bad communication mechanism.
I really feel uncomfortable with this discussion. We are not here to discuss how fun self injury is, or to share tips. If you seriously need help, you should go to the hospital or get help of some kind. This is really starting to feel like you are either trying to get back at us for not allowing you backroom access, or you are trying to get attention or get people on your side. I really hope that is not the case, and that you are in serious need of help but lack the ablility to go about asking in a constructive way, not because I want you to hurt yourself but because making up stories to get attention, especially about something as serious as this, is not in any way funny. But if you are looking for someone to congradulate you for SI or someone to tell you which kind of razor blade to buy, this is not the site to do that. I really feel like you have taken serious advantage of people's trust and of our safe space.
Are you guys intentionally not reading? "fun huh" was totally a sarcastic comment. She wasn't like "omg it's a party!"
duh.
I didn't comment in the beginning because I wasn't sure how to take the "fun huh" comment. But this:
Quote:
yes i am "struggling" with it myself.
my methods are usually icing, cutting, and burning.
I have learned that it is better to view it not as a hinderment but something to be proud of with the right people. Not to let it get you down, if u feel the need to do it, do it . Just try next time to avoid the triggers. It better to view it as fun then something bad.
Does NOT seem at all sarcastic to me. It's actually extremely offensive to me.
it could be viewed as offensive or it could be viewed as a misguided attempt to deal with things.
cutting and SI are different for different people. for me it takes the form of an addiction. think of a drug or drinking problem. people often view the things they do under the influence as fun or exciting. they think of it as a lifestyle that can be good. that works until you hit bottom.
in our culture we also have a habit of telling people to be proud of illness. sometimes this works to our advantage. someone who has say, bipolar disorder can be proud of their differences. you get highs and lows most people don't you see things in a unique way. perhaps she's seeing it that way.
i don't know. it just seems unfair and that people are throwing the baby out with the bath here. maybe waiting for more response or hearing more of what she has to say might help form opinions of what she's trying to communicate.
i do see evidence of real problems here. the attention seeking and the view that cutting can be good and helpful. i struggled with those notions for a long time. telling family that hey it's not so bad. i like it it helps me get off my back.
the thing is those attention seeking behaviors and superficial cuts were signs of very deep pain that i didn't (and really still don't) know how to handle. Maybe this is the case with AM.
i'm reserving judgment here but these statements don't seem to be completely intentionally offensive from what i can see.
i'd rather be jerked around a bit until i figure out what's going on than tell someone who obviously has a real problem that they'll get no help from me and help drive a dangerous addiction into a more dangerous place.
I never said I wouldn't help, in fact I said that I would be very willing to participate and share my experiences if the discussion didn't revolve around how fun it is and how we should be proud of it. I can't help someone when the conversation is triggering me beyond belief, the statements about it being fun and how we should just avoid our triggers are trigger me massively.
I understand that there is something to gain from SI, obviously since I had been doing it in some form from age 2 to 17, I know that it can feel like the only thing that helps. Which is why, even after 6 years of not hurting myself, I still get that urge all the time.
I don't know, whatever. I guess the main reason I always cut was because I couldn't get my feelings out IN WORDS and SI at least got them out there....so if the OP is having similar problems, she may not be able to communicate what she needs, and this could be her way of reaching out for help. I'll just take myself out of this conversation and let others who aren't extremely triggered by it try to help her then....
that's something i didn't consider. you make a good point.
i quit for almost a year. and now that you talk about it i do remember those first few months. my back teeth got that sugar hurt and my mouth tensed and watered when i talked about it.
While I wouldn't characterizing cutting as "fun," I have to say I sympathize with the comment that, with the right people, one can have some level of "pride." I cut myself (along with other methods) between the ages of thirteen and eighteen. Most of those years I religiously hid my cuts and later scars. Even, I stopped hiding my scars all the time, though most of the time I do hide them. When I stopped hiding them all the time, I noticed how, at least with the scars on my shoulders, I would get compliments. These compliments didn't encourage me to cut. After I started showing scars, how often I cut started to dwindle away. I cut, because I hated my body. Working to get rid of the shame I felt around my body, and let's face it, scars cover a good deal of my body, was necessary for me to stop. Nowadays, I like some of my scars, and some I don't, but I don't view my body as mutilated or disfigured, like the medical establishment tried to get me to believe.
I also want to say that while I've stopped, I don't think framing conversations around cutting only around stopping is particularly helpful. People don't stop until they're ready, and I question whether stopping is the right choice for everyone. Still, while framing the discussion exclusively around stopping, it silences discussions around harm reduction and managing social stigma.
This has gotten really off-topic. My point is that how we define safe space is slippery. I'm a psychiatric survivor and one of the founders of a mad pride groups in my city. Visibly, a lot of people here depart in some places from what the medical community recommends: whether it be around birth, where children should sleep, vaccination, etc... While I wouldn't open a discussion like this like she did, I would guess that this space might be more open to discussions about cutting that depart from the medical model. Maybe my own judgement is blurred due to myown agenda, but I'm willing to entertain that she's serious, and if she is serious, I don't think what she said is a violation of trust.
Nowadays, I like some of my scars, and some I don't, but I don't view my body as mutilated or disfigured, like the medical establishment tried to get me to believe.
that's very well said.
i'll never forget how hard it was to trust my husband after he called a doc and said "she's engaging in ritual self mutilation" it was so damn demeaning and he didn't even know it!
I agree it's easy to view it as offensive if you've never been through it. SI is serious, and it is dangerous, and one way to actively not deal with what you're going through is to make light of it. I used to cut myself in the middle of study hall, and my friends and I would laugh when the blood got too bad that I had to be excused. Fucked up, yes, definitely. But part of it? For sure. It's EASIER to act like it's okay because if you don't then that means actively fighting against it, which some people may not be ready for. It's our job as friends to get them ready for that, not to ridicule them because they word things in a way you might not understand. I spent years pretending it was just in good fun because if I didn't, people might have seen that I really wanted to kill myself and it was really one of the worst acts of self hatred you could do. And who wants people to see that, right? pretending it was all in good fun was a way of survival.
I guess it would seem to me if like, I came on here and was like, who does drugs? What kind do you do? Fun right? Like, yes maybe I feel proud that I do drugs, and whatever, but I just don't see how that could be deemed appropriate. Yk?
no one said you had some gigantic disorder. whether or not you believe it you have a whole site full of people worried about you right now. we want to make sure you are okay. no one is saying there is something wrong with you or is judging you. we only want to make sure you are okay.
You were the one who brought it up, and imo, the girls have been supportive around it overall.
And yes, going to a hospital for this is a good idea. When you come with a serious issue, being told to go to the hospital is only for your own sake, and it's something you can expect to hear.
As someone who's dealt with SI pretty much my entire life (even in infancy I was a headbanger and self-biter) I have a hard time seeing it as being positive.. even around certain people. While there are definately people I feel comfortable talking to about it now, and who I feel ok revealing my scars around, I'm not "proud" of it. Si is still a daily struggle for me, and for me any negative experiences/feelings serve as triggers.. hardly something I can just "avoid".
I just cant see how a thread discussing methods, triggers, and stating its "ok" would be helpful to anyone who's dealing with si. Dont get me wrong, SI does not make you "bad" or anything, but it is NOT a healthy way to cope. It carries with it a very real risk of serious injury and should not be taken lightly.
And to the OP.. Im really worried about you and I apologize if I upset you, I just dont think its ok to glorify something so potentially serious.
I'm not saying okay let's share methods with her like she asked about, I'm saying don't alienate her or ridicule her for phrasing it in a way that is natural for some SI's to phrase it or think of it. And AM, it is a disorder, it is something you need help for, but it's not uncommon. Realizing that is the first step in helping yourself stop.
I just wanted to add that as a former SI, I have to agree that it's easy to view it as offensive if you've never been through it. 100%.
I don't think it was necessarily "fun" to do it, but I was always looked down upon by my friends, and family, and teachers. I was even asked if I wan on drugs at one point.
And AM yes, it is a kind of disorder. SI is not normal to most of society, it's unacceptable to the majority, but you're definately not alone, I can guarantee you that.
in all fairness to myself it is hard enought to admit to doing si more or less put it out here for everyone to know how i do or did it and the reasons why ..Its in no way fun and I know I need help but insurance is a bitch.....I just want to offer my support and let u know that im here to talk.....privatley that is about anything u want......
Are you struggling with SI yourself? Or just curious? I dont want to be rude, but I think this post comes across as very insensitive.. SI is an extremely personal thing and I know I'm not going to post the details in a thread like this. I may mention things in other posts if I believe their is benefit to the OP, but I really dont see the point of this thread?? Also.. Can a mod put a trigger on this please?
And the "fun huh?" comment.. totally innapropriate!!!
yes i am "struggling" with it myself.
my methods are usually icing, cutting, and burning.
I have learned that it is better to view it not as a hinderment but something to be proud of with the right people. Not to let it get you down, if u feel the need to do it, do it . Just try next time to avoid the triggers. It better to view it as fun then something bad.
I don't think encouraging SI is a good way to go about it..
If there are mamas on here who are struggling with it, yourself included, then there are plenty of other mamas willing to talk about it and show support and try to help.
But encouragement is a whole different thing.
i must second i will never encourage anyone to si.....it is a very harmful way to cope and I dont think I have ever been "proud" of my si... I try to hide it as much as possible from everyone.
I agree completely. Support does not = encouraging the continuation of SI behavior.
It's probably not the best idea to share tips and methods. We are not a pro-SI site, but rather a supportive environment to help anyone who needs help, a listening ear, or a network of resources.
I really feel like you are abusing the space to just piss people off. At first it seemed like you really wanted a private place to post about your SI issues and needed discussion and help. It seemed like it mattered to you that it would be a private discussion. and now this?
really...
Exactly. Jeez.
As a general rule, I don't think SI is something to consider "fun". For most of us, it's a serious problem, something that we are either seriously struggling with or struggling for years to overcome. I haven't cut in almost 6 years, and I still struggle with the urge to do it almost every fucking day.
As for methods, I don't like discussing that, either. Some people seem to have the perception that if you don't SI in a specific way, or your cuts aren't a certain depth, that you aren't serious and you are just seeking attention. I would hate to invalidate someone else's feelings by talking about how exactly I've done it, nor would I want to provoke someone to do something even more harmful to themselves for the sake of being "as serious" as someone else.
Not sure if I'm making sense here, but my point is if you, or anyone else need support and want to have a serious discussion about SI that doesn't involve talking about how "fun" it is, I'd be very willing to participate and share my experiences. And yes, I do understand that there is something to gain from SI, otherwise we wouldn't do it...but fun, no.
I agree with the pp, you were so worried about being annonymous and not having your issue brought to light, yet you are here talking about how we should be "proud" of our SI.
And, BTW, it's very difficult to "just try to avoid your triggers" when you are triggered by life, loud noise and other things that you have completely no control over.
I feel kinda bad i stood up for u in a thread stating that you needed a safe space and now i feel kinda abused.....si is a serious issue and i thought u were serious im sorry.....
borderline personality disorder is charachterised by chaotic relationships, ease of closeness in relationships, speedy intense relationships, and trouble with real intamacy. it also includes elements of attention seeking behaviour (such as suicidal gestures or cutting yourself so others can see it as a way of getting things focused on yourself)
i have been diagnosed with boarderline personality disorder and am struggaling with it and with the attention seeking cuts as well. it's rough and very hard for some people to understand. people do SI for many different reasons. some to deal with pain (they keep it secret and almost never discuss) and some do it to express things they can't put into words because of traumma and trouble in interpersonal relationships (these, like myself cut forearms ec and discuss the problem openly often).
BPD is often the result of untrated post traummatic stress disorder in childhood. Things like traumattic accidents, bad divorces, or physical and sexual abuse if left uncared for can cause a child to grow into a very chaotic adult. i saught help for my cutting and attention seeking behavior in my late teens at the request of a boyfriend who had complaints about me and was confused because he knew i was a good person and couldn't figure out why i seemd to loose it occasionally.
just some thoughts in case you are serious.
since we're being all out in the open and you're asking for tips (i use an exato knife and make sometimes up to a hundered small cuts on my forearm that don't even need band aids the next day but are sure to show. the act of cutting helps me discociate) i'll be all out about something else. needing access and attention to your cricis so quickly might be a sign of some issues that are real. they don't mean you're a bad person. they may just mean you need some help learning new coping mechianisms. i've been doing it since i was ten and i gotta say, it sucks.
and just to clarify.
i always make shallow cuts. always do things that some people would consider "not serious" and i believe that anyone else who does those thigns has a right to be as bothered and upset about it as they feel they ought to be. those little cuts might not even require bandaids but they've lost me boyfriends and lovers and almost custody of my son. they're a big deal. they're a bad communication mechanism.
I really feel uncomfortable with this discussion. We are not here to discuss how fun self injury is, or to share tips. If you seriously need help, you should go to the hospital or get help of some kind. This is really starting to feel like you are either trying to get back at us for not allowing you backroom access, or you are trying to get attention or get people on your side. I really hope that is not the case, and that you are in serious need of help but lack the ablility to go about asking in a constructive way, not because I want you to hurt yourself but because making up stories to get attention, especially about something as serious as this, is not in any way funny. But if you are looking for someone to congradulate you for SI or someone to tell you which kind of razor blade to buy, this is not the site to do that. I really feel like you have taken serious advantage of people's trust and of our safe space.
Are you guys intentionally not reading? "fun huh" was totally a sarcastic comment. She wasn't like "omg it's a party!"
duh.
I didn't comment in the beginning because I wasn't sure how to take the "fun huh" comment. But this:
Does NOT seem at all sarcastic to me. It's actually extremely offensive to me.
it could be viewed as offensive or it could be viewed as a misguided attempt to deal with things.
cutting and SI are different for different people. for me it takes the form of an addiction. think of a drug or drinking problem. people often view the things they do under the influence as fun or exciting. they think of it as a lifestyle that can be good. that works until you hit bottom.
in our culture we also have a habit of telling people to be proud of illness. sometimes this works to our advantage. someone who has say, bipolar disorder can be proud of their differences. you get highs and lows most people don't you see things in a unique way. perhaps she's seeing it that way.
i don't know. it just seems unfair and that people are throwing the baby out with the bath here. maybe waiting for more response or hearing more of what she has to say might help form opinions of what she's trying to communicate.
i do see evidence of real problems here. the attention seeking and the view that cutting can be good and helpful. i struggled with those notions for a long time. telling family that hey it's not so bad. i like it it helps me get off my back.
the thing is those attention seeking behaviors and superficial cuts were signs of very deep pain that i didn't (and really still don't) know how to handle. Maybe this is the case with AM.
i'm reserving judgment here but these statements don't seem to be completely intentionally offensive from what i can see.
i'd rather be jerked around a bit until i figure out what's going on than tell someone who obviously has a real problem that they'll get no help from me and help drive a dangerous addiction into a more dangerous place.
I never said I wouldn't help, in fact I said that I would be very willing to participate and share my experiences if the discussion didn't revolve around how fun it is and how we should be proud of it. I can't help someone when the conversation is triggering me beyond belief, the statements about it being fun and how we should just avoid our triggers are trigger me massively.
I understand that there is something to gain from SI, obviously since I had been doing it in some form from age 2 to 17, I know that it can feel like the only thing that helps. Which is why, even after 6 years of not hurting myself, I still get that urge all the time.
I don't know, whatever. I guess the main reason I always cut was because I couldn't get my feelings out IN WORDS and SI at least got them out there....so if the OP is having similar problems, she may not be able to communicate what she needs, and this could be her way of reaching out for help. I'll just take myself out of this conversation and let others who aren't extremely triggered by it try to help her then....
that's something i didn't consider. you make a good point.
i quit for almost a year. and now that you talk about it i do remember those first few months. my back teeth got that sugar hurt and my mouth tensed and watered when i talked about it.
sorry if i hurt you in any way.
While I wouldn't characterizing cutting as "fun," I have to say I sympathize with the comment that, with the right people, one can have some level of "pride." I cut myself (along with other methods) between the ages of thirteen and eighteen. Most of those years I religiously hid my cuts and later scars. Even, I stopped hiding my scars all the time, though most of the time I do hide them. When I stopped hiding them all the time, I noticed how, at least with the scars on my shoulders, I would get compliments. These compliments didn't encourage me to cut. After I started showing scars, how often I cut started to dwindle away. I cut, because I hated my body. Working to get rid of the shame I felt around my body, and let's face it, scars cover a good deal of my body, was necessary for me to stop. Nowadays, I like some of my scars, and some I don't, but I don't view my body as mutilated or disfigured, like the medical establishment tried to get me to believe.
I also want to say that while I've stopped, I don't think framing conversations around cutting only around stopping is particularly helpful. People don't stop until they're ready, and I question whether stopping is the right choice for everyone. Still, while framing the discussion exclusively around stopping, it silences discussions around harm reduction and managing social stigma.
This has gotten really off-topic. My point is that how we define safe space is slippery. I'm a psychiatric survivor and one of the founders of a mad pride groups in my city. Visibly, a lot of people here depart in some places from what the medical community recommends: whether it be around birth, where children should sleep, vaccination, etc... While I wouldn't open a discussion like this like she did, I would guess that this space might be more open to discussions about cutting that depart from the medical model. Maybe my own judgement is blurred due to myown agenda, but I'm willing to entertain that she's serious, and if she is serious, I don't think what she said is a violation of trust.
Nowadays, I like some of my scars, and some I don't, but I don't view my body as mutilated or disfigured, like the medical establishment tried to get me to believe.
that's very well said.
i'll never forget how hard it was to trust my husband after he called a doc and said "she's engaging in ritual self mutilation" it was so damn demeaning and he didn't even know it!
I agree it's easy to view it as offensive if you've never been through it. SI is serious, and it is dangerous, and one way to actively not deal with what you're going through is to make light of it. I used to cut myself in the middle of study hall, and my friends and I would laugh when the blood got too bad that I had to be excused. Fucked up, yes, definitely. But part of it? For sure. It's EASIER to act like it's okay because if you don't then that means actively fighting against it, which some people may not be ready for. It's our job as friends to get them ready for that, not to ridicule them because they word things in a way you might not understand. I spent years pretending it was just in good fun because if I didn't, people might have seen that I really wanted to kill myself and it was really one of the worst acts of self hatred you could do. And who wants people to see that, right? pretending it was all in good fun was a way of survival.
I guess it would seem to me if like, I came on here and was like, who does drugs? What kind do you do? Fun right? Like, yes maybe I feel proud that I do drugs, and whatever, but I just don't see how that could be deemed appropriate. Yk?
no one said you had some gigantic disorder. whether or not you believe it you have a whole site full of people worried about you right now. we want to make sure you are okay. no one is saying there is something wrong with you or is judging you. we only want to make sure you are okay.
You were the one who brought it up, and imo, the girls have been supportive around it overall.
And yes, going to a hospital for this is a good idea. When you come with a serious issue, being told to go to the hospital is only for your own sake, and it's something you can expect to hear.
As someone who's dealt with SI pretty much my entire life (even in infancy I was a headbanger and self-biter) I have a hard time seeing it as being positive.. even around certain people. While there are definately people I feel comfortable talking to about it now, and who I feel ok revealing my scars around, I'm not "proud" of it. Si is still a daily struggle for me, and for me any negative experiences/feelings serve as triggers.. hardly something I can just "avoid".
I just cant see how a thread discussing methods, triggers, and stating its "ok" would be helpful to anyone who's dealing with si. Dont get me wrong, SI does not make you "bad" or anything, but it is NOT a healthy way to cope. It carries with it a very real risk of serious injury and should not be taken lightly.
And to the OP.. Im really worried about you and I apologize if I upset you, I just dont think its ok to glorify something so potentially serious.
I'm not saying okay let's share methods with her like she asked about, I'm saying don't alienate her or ridicule her for phrasing it in a way that is natural for some SI's to phrase it or think of it. And AM, it is a disorder, it is something you need help for, but it's not uncommon. Realizing that is the first step in helping yourself stop.
So THIS is the reason behind the new forum...
I just wanted to add that as a former SI, I have to agree that it's easy to view it as offensive if you've never been through it. 100%.
I don't think it was necessarily "fun" to do it, but I was always looked down upon by my friends, and family, and teachers. I was even asked if I wan on drugs at one point.
And AM yes, it is a kind of disorder. SI is not normal to most of society, it's unacceptable to the majority, but you're definately not alone, I can guarantee you that.