This is from a pamphlet from The Aurora Center for Advocacy and Education on the University of Minnesota Campus:
How to Spot a Loser Lover
They come on strong and quickly become jealous.
Professions of love for you early in a relationship and wanting to know where you are at all times are signs of control issues and can be dangerous.
They are completely self-centered.
Partners who ignore your thoughts and opinions will resist equality in relationships.
They don't take responsibility for their behavior.
Parthers who don't see their own errors and flaws will blame you for whatever goes wrong.
Their temper scares you.
Angry, jealous or controling behavior isn't likely to change and will usually get more frightening - or more violent - over time.
Their life hasn't jelled.
Chaotic financial problems, gambling debts, drug or alcohol issues, or histories of losing jobs or having trouble with the law are all signs of risky partners.
They force you to have sex.
No one has the right to make you have sex, regardless of how a partner tries to force or coerce you. Forced sexual contact is sexual assalut and is illegal.
You feel that something is wrong.
If you sense you're in an unhealthy relationship, you're probably right.
Good post... and so true, so true.
I wish I would have seen this before getting closer to BD. Good post.
me too.
Wow, this is great! Now all I need is "How to Quit a Loser Lover"
or "how to deal with the fact that you made a baby with a loser lover and now you must deal with it for the next 18 years"
He was every single one of these things. I need to learn how to resist that exciting and wonderful falling in love feeling. It fucks up my life every time.
I like glasses' comment. And mamabutterfly, thats one of the worst things about losers, is that when they are good they can be sooo good. Let me tell you though, knowing I never had to feel as bad as my oldest's bd made me feel is one of the best things I ever did for myself- And it was years before SO came and swept me off my feet but well worth the wait.