Okay, SO's cat has been pooping in the front hallway since we moved in. Nothing we do has changed this, and we've tried all kinds of remedies, he just doesn't handle change well. We weren't originally planning to take either cat, he was going to give his to a friend and I was going to give mine to my sister. Well, my irresponsible sister would've starved my poor cat to death or it would've ended up living with my mother in the apartment below hers, so we ended up having to take Dora with us. His cat Phil, well, his friend just never showed up the day she was supposed to take him. Phil doesn't handle change very well and doesn't like my son. He's never bitten or scratched him, but hisses at him if he ever gets closer than two feet. Dora on the other hand, was a kitten when we got her and Matt was two years old, so she's wonderful with him. Doesn't mind him wrestling with her, doesn't mind having her tail pulled, and doesn't put up too much fuss when he puts her inside my decorative birdcage (long story...well, not really, that's pretty much it. He got in trouble for it, but she goes right back for more so I have trouble feeling sorry for her.)
My SO now wants to get rid of BOTH cats. Okay, we'll save by not spending money on litter and food, but I LOVE my Dora! I didn't feel it was fair to make him get rid of Phil if I didn't get rid of Dora (though she doesn't poop on anything) so I put them both up on craigslist. Well the only one drawing any attention is Dora! I don't want to get rid of her when she's not a problem, especially if we end up keeping the problematic cat! It's not fair!!
So how do I explain to my SO that I'm not giving up my cat unless his is gone first? After I figure out how to say that, I can figure out how to say that she's not going anywhere. :)
Maybe try explaining to him that the whole issue with the cats is the pooping and it not getting any better, not actually having the cat. And if you get rid of Dora that's not solving the problem in anyway. I would take Dora off craigslist and see if Phil gets any attention then. Then say if the problem continues after he's gone then you can discuss getting rid of her too. But I have a feelign that once he's gone that issue probably won't come up
What about trying to work with his cat to make it work out so they can both stay?
There are lots of things you can do to stop pooping out of boxes
- Have multiple litter boxes. (The rule of thumb is one per cat, and one extra.)
- Make sure they are scooped at least 2 times a day.
- Try changing litter types. You can try pellets, non clumping, clumping. You can keep the normal kind in one box and the new kind in the 2nd box.
- You can retrain the cat to use the box by keeping him in one small room with the litter box while you are unable to supervise him (Like in a bathroom.) Once he uses it consistantly, for at least a few days, you can let him out more and more.
- You can try changing foods.
A lot of times cats will poop out of the box to let you know something is wrong. He may need to be looked at by a vet if the above things don't work.
As you said he doesn't adjust well to change, so giving him away he will most likely poop in that persons house too, or maybe worse. And you never know how those people will react to it, they could be mean to him, or throw him out, who knows.
As for him not letting your son pull his tail and wrestle with him, thats pretty normal for cats, and not really his fault, he is probally scared and reacting to it, hissing is a sign of fear, not so much anger.
Anyways, good luck I hope it all works out.
I would be weary about giving cats away to strangers on craigslists. There are some real sicko's out there.
I would just stick to your guns. My SO wasn't fond of my cat but I told him that Jack was there first and eventually he gave in, and now they're quite used to other people.
I'm seconding what everyone is saying - check how many boxes you have, how often they're scooped, what sort of litter you're using... I used to have a cat who HATED scented litter. He just refused to use it.
Also yeah, be careful about giving the cat away on CL. I see stories on CNN several times a week about people getting cats to torture. It's really really sick. Is there a cat rescue/humane society in your area? If you really don't want the cats, that would be the best bet because you'd know that the cat was either going to be going to a good home, or humanely euthanised. Which, IMO, is really much better than so sick person getting at it, you know?
We don't have the space for more than one litter box, and I really don't have the time to devote to picking up after two cats with everything going on in my life. My SO isn't helping in the cat department and since MY cat is clean, I don't see a need for me to bend over backward for a cat I don't even like. When we decided to move in together, we started buying the same litter and food for our respective houses, and everything went really well until the move happened so it's not the litter or the food.
I know it's not my cat doing it because (and he got in a LOT of trouble for this) Matt once closed her in my pants drawer for an entire afternoon and she didn't so much as piddle on my jeans. Matt doesn't try to be mean to Phil or anything, but just petting him, the cat goes into a huge fit!
My SO consented to me removing my cat from the ad, but I think you're right and I'll track down a no-kill shelter instead.
Is the cat pooping in just the one spot? Perhaps the old people who lived there had a cat who marked that spot. Try something like Oxy Solutions, it is supposed to get rid of cat 'marking' spots.
And a lot of times cats act out like that just because they're not happy, and that's one of the only ways they can let you know they're not happy. Get something for him, like a toy, and make sure he gets positive attention daily. And teach your son to stay away from him. It's not unrealistic that some animals just will not like kids going near them, it's not the animals fault, but kids should be taught the proper way to approach animals and not to approach them if they're not kid-loving animals. (Especially if they're doing things like trapping animals in bird cages, drawers and pulling their tails)
Personally I don't agree with giving away animals, even to shelters, I figure once you take on the responsibility of an animal, you keep that responsibility. The majority of animal problems can be cured, and the majority of animals whose owners don't take the time to try end up being killed. If you don't want him because of this problem, chances are no one else will either, and he would be put down because no one took the time.
It took a bit of time (6 months to be exact) but I managed to fully house train a 6 year old dog who had never been house trained in his life. I didn't even run into any trainers who thought I could do it because he was old and set in his ways, but it can be done. Did I have the time? Hell, I haven't had time to even blow my nose in the last 2 years. Did I want to? Not really, I had grown to hate that dog with a passion. But I took on the responsibility of him (which was tough, picture a huge bout of diarhhea throughout my kitchen that had splattered over every square inch because he had been wearing a doggie diaper, so instead of one spot it just dripped and flung everywhere. GROSS), I saw it through, I cured the problem and now he's a huge part of the family and it's been about another half year since he's made a mess in the house at all. He's turned into the picture perfect dog, and even my SO who hates dogs and never wanted this one, is in love with him.
It can be done, and I think the animals deserve at least an effort. There's also animal medications out there for chronic behavior problems that can work wonders.
But seriously you should try to curttail the way your son treats animals. Just because one animal doesn't mind it doesn't mean it's right to do, and often these type of behavioral problems can arise from feeling threatened in the home. We went through it to when my one cat Mickey started being a bully to my other cat Cuddles, and Cuddles acted out by peeing on all the laundry every time we turned our backs. That was a pain in the arse, for sure, but we fixed it.
Actually that was the other thing I wanted to mention, If he is scared of your son, he may be acting out by pooping on the floor, out of stress.
The shelter I volunteer at we put a lot of time into, but the animals there are still not living the kind of lives they should be.
Also I'd be worried if you son went to a friends house and tried to play rough with a dog or cat that he could be seriously injured.
Good luck
When I mentioned the tail pulling, that happened when he was a baby. We've had that cat since he was two, and you can't expect a two year old to not pull an animal's tail at least once in their life. Did I not mention he got in trouble for the birdcage and drawer thing? I believe I did. I am teaching him to be kind to animals, he finds it fascinating she can fit into things, he hasn't been hurtful toward her since he was very little, he just puts her inside things. That doesn't mean I laugh and tell him it's fine, but thanks for making the assumption that I'm not teaching him anything. I've seen quite a few animal trainers that go into the homes of expectant parents and help them teach the animal to tolerate the treatment it may or may not recieve from an investigative toddler, not to teach the parents that they should encourage the behavior, but to help the pet adjust. Matt doesn't play rough with Phil. I mentioned his rough play with Dora as a testament to the fact that she can tolerate things like that, not to say I encourage it and not to say that he should or tries to treat the other animal that way. When he trys to PET the cat, while the cat is in my LAP, what greets him is a hissing fit and no matter how you slice it, cats who can't handle children deserve a home without them.
We had a dog at my mom's. We had her for a year before I had Matthew. The first word he said was dog, and when he learned to crawl she was the first thing he headed toward. He never hurt her, but he made her incredibly nervous. She had a breakdown and was shaking all the time, and her fur falling out because she was a dog comfortable with adults, and not comfortable with children. That is also the conclusion the vet came to when we told him the situation. We gave her to a friend who worked with my mom, who had a teenage daughter in a wheelchair. Last I heard her fur had grown back and she was calm and sweet again.
Yes, if a person takes on the responsibility they should see it through, but *I* took on the responsibility of Dora and she's trained, she's good with children, she uses her litter box. My *SO* took on the responsibility of Phil, not me. And as I mentioned before, my SO isn't being very helpful in this situation.
Naivete, your dog wasn't house trained and you trained him. What would you have done if he couldn't handle T? Would you have just "seen it through" and risked T getting hurt? I don't think so. Phil was raised with adults and no children from the time he was born in SO's hall closet. He doesn't like children, he doesn't like Dora, and it would be better for him to be in a place without them.
I wasn't accusing you of jack all, you asked for help, don't get defensive. It's not common nowadays that anyone teaches their children animal safety, and when in one post you mention that he's trapped animals in small spaces, wrestled with them and pulled their tails, but never once mentioned anything about that behavior being in the past, you can't blame someone for assuming that your son doesn't know how to act around animals.
And I'd never advocate keeping an animal around kids if the kid can't leave em alone and the animal has the capacity of acting out, but you never indicated that he wasn't being rough, and often animals who dislike children do a complete turnaround when they're not feeling threatened by them, that's why I brought it up. Honestly? One of my cats does NOT like Trey. Not Cuddles, she got her name by cuddling anything that moves, but Mickey. He doesn't like children, he's scratched a girl in the past who kept bugging him and bugging him. He wasn't bad as a kitten but we had SO's cousin look after Trey for about a year as a nanny, and she brought her daughter every day. Her daughter was hell to him, was always stepping on Mickey's tail, trying to sit on him or choke him, she got scratched a lot cause she was never taught how to treat animals (even when her mom saw her do it, she wouldn't stop it or use discipline), and since then even though T's gentle, Mickey just does not like children.
Trey does not like either of the cats, as well. But they live harmoniously cause Trey just doesn't go near them. He doesn't want to anyways, he really could care less about cats, the most interaction he has with the cats is telling on them if they jump on the couch or are too close to his toys. He knows that cats can scratch if they're bugged so since he was a wee one he's learned to just leave them be and they'll get along fine. He doesn't go up to them, startle them, or usually even try to pet them, he just lets em be. At most, maybe once every few weeks he'll ask if he can pet a kitty, and he knows not to unless we help him, one of us will sit down with him and calm the kitty and then T will sit and pet him for a few minutes then walk off. And because he lets them be, the cats have no problem with letting him be, and Mickey is still quite content here.
He's more like me, a dog person, the cats are SO's cause SO is a cat person and dislikes dogs. The cats both really tick the hell out of me, cause I'm badly allergic to them and they eat all my hairties then throw them up (gross). Dogs are so much cooler, and more loyal, heh.