Hey.
My name's Layla, I'm 19 and my doctor so kindly confirmed today that I'm pregnant.
This is strange for me... the whole, laying my cards on the table for strangers thing, but I feel like I could really use some advice from people who've been there.
More than anything right now I feel guilty. My first instinct is that I don't want this baby and I'm not ready to be a mom, but then I can't help but think that's really selfish. I have the financial means to have a child, I have a fiance who would move mountains if i asked him too and who I know, when I tell him, will want this baby... and at least on his side of the family I have a huge support system. Which is so much more than so many mom's who are my age or younger have and they had their baby.
I've told two people so far, my best friend who's also my soon to be sister-in-law and she thinks I can do it... and then another close friend who wasn't so supportive and told me it was my own fault. I'm just scared. My mom was a year younger than me when she had me, and I've always felt like she never got it. She had me and married my father because it was 'the right thing to do.' and i'm terrified that I'll be that girl too.
Anyway, I guess I've taken up enough space, right? So I'll leave it there.
Welcome to girl-mom! Try and check out the mission statement and stickies, so you know what our community is about.
When making this decision, you need to think about what the right decision is for *you*. Not the decision you think you should make because of your circumstances. Not because of what you think others will want, even if they are your fiance. It needs to about whether you want to continue this pregnancy and whether you want to parent. Parenting is hard work; it's not something you should do for others or do because you think that's what's expected of someone in your situation.
Good luck with making a decision. I hope you like it here.
Welcome to Girl-Mom.
I second everything boigrrlwonder said!!!!!
Also realize that sometimes circumstances can change..... so decide for yourself, and make the decision that you can live with no matter what.
You have options Hun....
And we will support you in any decision you make.
I was 19 when I got pregnant too, and in a relationship, but I made the decision I made for whether my SO and I stayed together or not.
Whether my family or friends supported me or not....
And I've never looked back.
XoXo!
Welcome to Girlmom. Feeling like you're not ready to be a mom is not selfish. Like other shave said, you have options and you have the right to choose what's best for YOU, not your fiance, not what your friends and family will want.
If you choose to continue the pregnancy and raise a child, most of the work will fall on you. You CAN be a good parent if that's what you choose, but if you aren't ready yet, that's ok, and nobody has the right to tell you it's not.
Hi I'm Tessa 19 y/o mama to Ian 4 and Aidan 1. And they're right it's YOUR decision. Having a baby is a lot more than being finiancially stable. It's a lot of work. You have to want it. You don't want to regret having your baby. Don't let anyone influence your decision. It's going to be rough but we're all here for you. Girl-mom is a very supportive community.
Having the resources to have a baby does not indebt you to have a baby. You should become a parent when you want to parent, not when you have the means to parent.
Welcome to Girl-Mom. I agree with all the pps. You should think about what you want. If you don't want to have a baby right now, that's ok. You can always have one later (if you choose to). If you want to continue this pregnancy, we will be here for you every step of the way!
Hey, my name's Ashleigh. I'm 18 and I got pregnant and had an abortion because I wasn't ready to have a baby right now. I planned to continue my pregnancy at first but I think I always felt that it just wasn't right for me. If you ever want to talk about anything, pm me. Good luck with everything. Whether you decide to continue or not, make sure you make that choice for yourself, and know that you will always have support from everyone here!
The pp's have already offered some really excellent advice. They are so right about making sure that it is something YOU really want, because having a child is completely life changing. That being said if you decide now is the time that you want to become a mamma, and you base your decision on your true feelings, it will also the most wonderful and rewarding experience. Just keep in mind that you have options, and do what is best for yourself.
welcome to gm my naame is monique mom to 14 month old keneil and when i forst got pregnant i was scared too but i had my baby and it was the best decsion i ever made so good luck with yourself girlmom is a greta supprt system e have alot of strong young mamas here