What is the Responsibility of a BD, in the following circumstances:
1) The couple discuss before sex how each other feels about children. They agree they do not want any at the moment, so if the girl were to get pregnant she would abort or give up for adoption.
She later accidentally gets pregnant, but changes her mind and breaks her agreement to abort or adopt, and decides to keep it instead. BD does not want a child.
What is his responsibility?
2) The couple doesn't discuss anything specifically, but they are very careful about always using contraception to avoid an unwanted pregnancy.
The girl decides she wants a baby, so she stops taking the pill but does NOT tell her bf. She gets pregnant and wants to keep it against the wishes of the boyfriend.
What is his responsibility?
In all aspects the other half aka BD aka sperm donor is responsible.
Although i personally think its wrong for any women to stop taking BC if her partner does not want a child and she knows that.
Thats going behind his back.
He has responsibility to his child in both cases...
But I agree with Kel, I don't agree with going off of BC and not telling your partner, knowing they don't want to have a child. It just isn't being honest, or respectful.
Thanks for your answers.
I think the problem with making the whole "she gets pregnant on purpose" a consideration is that men could easily use the excuse to get out of being responsible even if she wasn't trying to get pregnant.
Situations like:
-they lose track of time and she misses a pill one day
-in the heat of the moment they decide they don't need a condom
-her birth control fails
Because really, how can you prove that a person took their birth control? How can you prove that the BC failed? You can't, and it would become the excuse du jour.
Also, I don't think any promise of what you would do with a pregnancy is valid before a pregnancy even exists. It's much easier to say you would end a pregnancy before it exists or place a child that you haven't birthed or even conceived. No one knows how they will react to a pregnancy until they have one.
children deserve emotional, physical, mental, financial, and moral support from both parents.
without question.
under all circumstances.
the rights of single parents, usually moms, are often corroded during conversations such as these. everyone knows a story about a couple who had some kind of circumstance where it was agreed on that there wouldn't be a child, but then she got pregnant, and in the process the poor babydaddy's rights were taken away because she got all the say.
its all bullshit.
it doesn't matter what was said before, what was agreed upon before. if a baby is born, then THAT person (the baby) deserves to have its basic needs and rights met. there are many, MANY complicated stories about how certain people's children were born. how i form my own opinions about those situations is to always, always look at it first from what the child deserves.
there is no sad story from any poor pitiful babydaddy that could ever convince me that he has any right to walk away from his obligations to the life of his child.
ever.
children deserve emotional, physical, mental, financial, and moral support from both parents.
without question.
under all circumstances.
the rights of single parents, usually moms, are often corroded during conversations such as these. everyone knows a story about a couple who had some kind of circumstance where it was agreed on that there wouldn't be a child, but then she got pregnant, and in the process the poor babydaddy's rights were taken away because she got all the say.
its all bullshit.
it doesn't matter what was said before, what was agreed upon before. if a baby is born, then THAT person (the baby) deserves to have its basic needs and rights met. there are many, MANY complicated stories about how certain people's children were born. how i form my own opinions about those situations is to always, always look at it first from what the child deserves.
there is no sad story from any poor pitiful babydaddy that could ever convince me that he has any right to walk away from his obligations to the life of his child.
ever.
word. I think this thread is inappropriate, and still follows along the lines of passive aggressive judgement that you've already been called out for.
Andromeda, are you here for any other reason than to subtly imply that some girls deserve what they get? You do it in a way that makes it look like just curiousity, which is the way of trolls, to do it in a way that stirs the pot without doing enough to be banned. If you are genuinely curious, read through he archive as it's all been brought up before.
I agree and I think this thread is disturbing, inappropriate, and possibly triggering for a lot of members here. I'm choosing not to go into the validity of this question, and I do think you've received enough answers. But, I agree with the pp about you posting these 'judgmental type' of questions. We are not a focus group for you to arbitrarily interview. I donât think you âneedâ this space. I think youâre here because you find this place interesting and youâre curious. We graciously accepted onto our board, but there had been a constant feeling of interrogation coming from your post.
I spend some time on help forums where these questions get asked, by both sexes. Besides the legal answer, I was having difficulty answering why it does not matter what was said or agreed upon before the fact.
I did not think of this:
"t doesn't matter what was said before, what was agreed upon before. if a baby is born, then THAT person (the baby) deserves to have its basic needs and rights met. there are many, MANY complicated stories about how certain people's children were born. how i form my own opinions about those situations is to always, always look at it first from what the child deserves."
This is the perfect answer and it makes total sense. There is no one who could logically argue with it.
Fair enough. Thanks for having me here for a little while, anyway.
Using us to satisfy your curiosity is not fair. You wouldn't like it if someone barged into your forum/life and questioned everything about you and made you feel bad, just so you could ask a bunch of rude questions
I haven't responded to any of the OP's threads for that very reason. It makes me feel like I'm on trial.
Exactly. And now reading everything shes been posting, i feel like shes looking for reasons to judge. Whatever.
Not on our time. Go look up some damn studies or statistics to think you know it.