Here are some great checklists, hope they help
Does your partner:
--Control where you go and what you do?
--Constantly criticize you and you abilities as a spouse, partner, parent or employee?
--Behave in an overly protective manner?
--Threaten to hurt you, your children, pets, family members, friends or him/herself?
--Suddenly get angry or lose his/her temper?
--Destroy your personal property?
--Punch, slap, kick, shove, or bite you?
--Prevent you from working or attending school?
--Deny you access to family assets such as bank accounts, credit cards, or car?
--Give you an "allowance" and insist that you account for what you spend?
--Force you to have sex against your will?
--Insult you or call you names?
--Use intimidation or manipulation to control you or your children?
--Humiliate you or your kids in front of others?
--Turn minor incidents into major arguments?
--Blames his/her behavior on you, his/her temper, stress, and drugs/alcohol?
--If he does, chances are you need a safety plan. Donât know what that is?
Need some help to think of the things you will really need? Keep readingâ¦
A safety plan is a plan of action to enable you to leave your abusive situation.
Here are some important things to think about at first.
--Decide ahead of time where you will go and how you will get there the next time he/she becomes violent.
--Plan an escape route out of your home and teach it to your children.
--Leave $20+, all-important documents, an extra set of car keys and extra clothing hidden outside your house or at a neighbor's.
--Tell someone you trust about the violence. Develop friendships with neighbors. Ask them to call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from your house.
--Develop a code word with your children, neighbors and friends that lets them know you need to get out immediately.
--Let your children's teachers and school principals know enough about your situation so that they can respond supportively in a crisis.
--During an abusive episode, try to avoid being cornered in a place where there are weapons or sharp or heavy objects.
--Do not try to fight back if he/she seems to be "building up", especially if he's drunk or using drugs. Instead, get out of the house. If you cannot leave safely, keep your back towards an open space, not a corner.
--Go to rooms with doors/windows for escape.
--If you leave, take your children.
--If violence erupts, try to stay near a phone. Call 911 to report any incident of violence.
--Set Up Your Own P.O. Box. Open your own post office box and reroute all important documents (paychecks, food stamps, etc.)
--Set Up Your Own Account. Open a savings account in your own name to establish or increase your independence. â even if this means that you have to âhideâ money from him
--Before you leave you need to prepare, you can by doing some or all of the following.
--Be Ready To Call. Keep the shelter phone number with you at all times. Also, keep spare change or a calling card with you for any other phone calls you may need to make.
-- Memorize Your Plan. Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer.
Checklist. Things you should take with you when you leave:
Identification - medical records
Driver's license - birth certificate
Money - leases, deeds
Bank books - checkbooks
Insurance papers - house / car keys
Social Security cards - welfare ID
School records - work permits
Green card - passport
Divorce papers - jewelry
Children's small toys - saleable objects
Pictures (of abuser & any injuries sustained) - ask your trusted friend or neighbor to help you get pictures, so when you press charges you have proof.
Make sure someone where you go to school and/or work knows what is going on. Tell them all the information so that they can protect you also. Have someone walk you to and from your car if at all possible. If you think you are being followed drive to the nearest police station. File a protective or restraining order. Keep the order with you at all times. Inform EVERYONE about the order. And most importantly: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO CALL THE POLICE AND/OR A SHELTER.
If you need help call the 24 hr national domestic violence hotline, it will ring in your local dv shelter, and some one will help you