Ack. I've got a hitter.

Frustration may be exactly it. I know when my daughter was that age "use your words" was a commonly heard in her pre-school. If his words aren't coming fast enough for him it must be frustrating.

maybe you can practice having him take deep breaths to calm down when he's mad? If you see he's worked up over something say "breathe" and then take in a deep breath yourself so he imitates it.

I wish I could offer more help, When Alexa would hit, I would calmly say, 'hands are not for hitting' and ask her to use her words. With Blake he Bites and pinches, and i know he is really frustrated since he doesn't have the muscle tone to walk like other kids his age.

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mama to Alexa 3/25/04 and Blake 9/18/07

"This land is yours and this land is mine
What that means is nobody can own the rights "

Yeah, i have a hitter too.

He dosn't hit very hard. Infact, he goes out of his way to make a "hitting motion" with his hand, however touch me very lightly. I dont get it.

I have tried to eliminate any violent programming he would be getting (although, I doubt your son is exposed to violence), and it worked a little, however his natural "hit when I am angry" instinct still kicks in. Persistance Persistance Persistance. I think this is the only way to kick that habit. I've put my kid on time outs, that seems to curb the behaviour. I've also told my kid that I will not play with him anymore (if he hit's me while we are playing), or help him with what he needs, if he can not treat me properly.(GOing with a natural conesquence. You hit someone, they arn't going to want to be around you).

It's difficult. That instinct is a strong one to break, I think.

One thing you might pay attention to is what else is going on in his life. When did he start hitting? Have there been any changes at daycare since then? At home? Also, try to notice what happens before he hits, not just immediately before, but for a few minutes before (I know that this is hard b/c you never know when he is going to hit, but when he does think back and see what you can remember). Try to notice if there a any pattern.

Also, see if you can find opportunities (when he's not hitting) to talk about feelings with him and to give him some language with which to talk about his feelings. It might be that he's just developing mentally and physically faster than he is developing emotionally and doesn't quite know how to cope. I think it's pretty normal for that age.

Are you still dealing with this Charlie?
Does he have an signs of empathy yet? Has he been hit (by another child or whatever) and you could relate that to how it felt, that it hurt him, and so it hurts you too? Sophia started to throw things, very randomly, out of frustration and so we had a conversation when she as calm about how sometimes we can feel so frustrated. So we practiced saying/yelling "I AM SO FRUSTRATED (or angry) RIGHT NOW!" And decided that was a cue for another person to know how we were feeling. She says it now, and will say things like "I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm angry right now!" If he's not verbally inclined, the 2 of you could create a signal, like the "T" for timeout. If you give him warnings in disciplining him, you can relate it to that- he can give the sign as a warning for when he starts feeling that way, before the emotion gets overwhelming to the point where he hits. Be sure to praise any effort toward expressing the emotion before it gets out of control. And good luck.