Okay, I am so pissed right now, so this may be incoherent.
There are 4 houses in a row that have children around the same age. The 4 houses are fenced in from the road but not from each other, so there is like one looong yard. In the first house is my husband's aunt and her 2 kids - B is 7, K is 6, and my daughter's close friend. Number 2 is us, with M who is 5, then a couple with 3 kids T who is 7, F who just turned 4, and a baby. Number 4 has a 5 year old girl, P. P, K, and M will all be starting school this year, and will be in the same class. So all the parents know each other, and now that the weather is warm, the kids all play together every day after school and have for weeks. Since the yards are not separated, they just run back and forth. M invited all the kids to her party and they came, K invited all the kids to her party and they came, and F invited all the kids... except M.
More clearly, our next door neighbors invited every kid in the neighborhood to F's birthday, except my daughter. This party was held outside in the open yard.
So as I bring M home from school, I have to frantically try and distract her so that she doesn't notice the big party and keep her inside. I couldn't explain why she had to stay inside because I didn't want to tell her that there was a big party going on, but she wasn't invited. I have NO clue why.
It's not really that she wasn't invited to the party, it's that the big party was held next door in the yard, and her best friend was invited. Our options were to either keep her inside, or to have her go outside and watch the party from our yard.
The more I think about it, the more pissed off I get. I feel like you don't invite all the kids but one! Especially when it's RIGHT NEXT DOOR OUTSIDE.
If the party was somewhere else, I wouldn't be upset.
If they told us why she wasn't invited, I wouldn't be upset.
And it seems like my husband's aunt knew that M wasn't invited. I am just so... furious no one thought to tell us. If there is some sort of problem going on, I want to know about it! I would like to have the option of being able to take her out somewhere or try and fix what was going on. I'm pissed off and hurt and just aching for M. I cannot imagine what is going on - she's never had problems with other kids before. She is so social. Her teachers have nothing but positive things to say about her.
I know that as they get older, there are going to be fights and squabbles and not nice things going on - I mean, they're kids and sometimes kids can be mean. But it seems like the parents are totally cool with this?!
When M had her birthday, she wanted to exclude some kids from her class. We told her that it was the whole class or no one from the class, because that was not cool.
It's just ARGH.
I mean, I start to calm down, and then I get all pissed off again. My husband thinks I'm overreacting. He was like "Oh well, I think it was stupid and cruel, but what can you do?" It just sucks because these are going to be our next door neighbors forever and I just feel so strongly that this was not okay to do, that they should have either invited everyone, or told us ahead of time exactly why she wasn't being invited so we wouldn't have to make her stay inside and lie about why, you know? I kind of feel like this was... passive aggressive.