First of all I am not sure if this is in the tright place or not, but this has really been bothering me ever since I heard about it. There is this girl that I am kind of friends with, well I used to be friends with her, but not so much anymore. Recently I heard that she was pregnant and like 2 or 3 months along. But she has been getting drunk alot like REALLY wasted every couple of days. Her excuse is that "her baby likes it". and she is "just trying to teach it to be an alcoholic, like her dad" (they're not together anymore) It is really bugging me; I don't think that it is fair to the fetus, or the baby it will be. Would it be wrong for me to say something, like suggest an abortion to her? I know it is really none of my business, but someone has to speak up for the baby. What do you guys think?
Oh and another thing, she says she can't afford an abortion, so do you know of any places or websites that I could visit and give her some info??
Are you sure she's not just saying those things? She may be under a lot of stress right now and she doesn't know how to deal with it. This may be her way of dealing with things, and she'll need a lot of support right now. You could get her pamphlets and such to let her know what her choices are and help her along in her pregnancy. Along with that, you could help point her in the direction to get financial assistance. If she can't afford an abortion now, she won't be able to afford an infant, so she'll need help with money either way.
You know what isn't fair? The fact that you're talking about her very personal and very real life situation in an online message board. She probably really needs some support right now, so how about giving it to her? Telling her to get an abortion isn't the right way to go about it, and referring to it as "not fair to the baby" is fucked up. The woman is #1 here and she obviously needs some help, not people telling her that she's being unfair to the fetus.
I know woman is #1 priority during pregnancies, but I don't agree with heavy drinking during pregnancy, the odd one or two, but massive drinking during pregnancy can cause FAS in the fetus. There are sticky notes at the top of some of the forums about abortion funds and where to go to help pay for one. Sit down and talk to her, let her know you're there for her and you'll help her with whatever, whatever her choice is. She seems like she's really reaching out for help and she's probably really scared about the pregnancy and needs a friend right now.
is there a reason you two are not really friends anymore? do you talk with her at all? it seems as though this is all only stuff you've heard, that's why i ask. if someone i didn't really talk to had found out i was pregnant and called just to give their opinion, i imagine i'd be pissed.
pregnancy IS hard to deal with, it sounds like alcohol is her way to escape that right now, i seriously doubt she really thinks the fetus likes it or hopes for it to be an alcoholic.
if you are really interested in being a friend to her, and not only for the sake of the fetus or whatnot, let her know that you're there for her, that you care about HER, and that if she doesn't want to continue the pregnancy she doesn't have to. i'm sure she could use a good mama friend regardless of what choices she makes.
i'm also going to move this to our families and friends, so let's keep it going in that direction.