I thought I posted this already, but I guess not.
I have been really sad all day today. I am not sure why. I think maybe it has to do with my identity. I am having a hard time reconciling my identity as a mother with my pre-baby identity. I also hate the word mother. I prefer mama or mom. Mother has negative connotations for me. It sounds cold and distant. I don't know where I am gonig with this. I guess I am wondering if anyone else has felt this way?
I do I do I hate MOTHER it sounds so formal and like i just dont know LOL i hate being called that, today has been shitty also I just had a baby and I feel so unloved by the family kay is being so mean to me BD just comes and goes (just teh last 2 days) i feel so lonely and its supposed to be a day about me! but it feels like everybody else is getting the attention I deserve umm i dont know im just ranting on in your post sorry (i hope you feel better :wink:
I hope you feel better too hon.
"Mother" is one of those words that shows up on a form or refers to an official day. It's kind of like the politically correct way of saying, "one who raises your sorry ass into something decent (or at the very least makes sure you have something to eat, wipes your nose and teaches you how to use the potty)"
Mom's day can be kinda depressing but now I just use at as a day to laugh about being a mom. I don't necessarily get presents or breakfast in bed but we go for icecream and I laugh about how the perfect day would be for everybody just to screw off so I don't have to cook and clean for anyone. Hehehe..... The day is what you make it.
"Mother" reminds me of "birthmother", which makes me feel shitty because it reminds me that I am one, and that my firstborn is not with me.
My son forgot mother's day today, and I'm just as glad.
Tomorrow, I'll use it to guilt-trip him :wink: (just kidding).
Mother's day depressed me as well. Being currently in the process of giving my son up for adoption, and someone else having temp. custody of him, it killed. My first mother's day having my child here, and all I did was cry my ass off.
I saw him and all, that's why I cried.
If anyone wants to see what it said in my card, ya'll can visit my livejournal (it's in my sig.) It killed to write it once. Don't wanna do it again.
i ignored most of the day. to me, mothers day is just some money making ploy for the married of the world. i try to believe that every day is mothers day. i dont need a day to define me.
every time riley calls me mom or mothers, i refuse to reply, it mommy or momma.
yea, I believe that mamas need to be celebrated all days of the year, mother's day was invented by hallmark, I swear.
I like Mother's Day, maybe as a mother I will feel differently, but I like a day set aside just to honor my mama and be with my maternal family. We had brunch at my cousin's house, this is her first mother's day, and my maternal cousins and aunts and uncle were there, it was really nice.
Any holiday is what you make of it, it can be commercial and corporate, or it can be a time to reconnect with family and friends. My mom called all of her mama friends to get in touch, even some she hadn't spoken to in awhile. My dad made fun of her because no one called HER, but she wanted to do it. I thought it was really nice.
My mom's day was kinda depressing as well. It was my first and Andy (BD and mate) had to work so it was just like any other day. Spent the morning alone in the apartment w/Kailey and of course it was one of her bad days since the nite before was Andy's Birthday Dinner w/his family..so she was still tired from everybody being in her face. She was clingy and all I wanted to do was get some more sleep since she was too overstimulated to get any good sleep. I was also depressed because I was going to my mom's for a BBQ and hadn't gotten her any present or even a card. So i show up finally after Kailey took a nap (i cannot sleep during the day cos we live in an apartment complex and no one has ANY consideration for day-nappers). My mom has already cleaned up (i was supposed to help her) and was kinda pissy cos I brought food since Kailey's nap wasn't long enough for me to do anything besides trim her nails..*ahem*..talons :wink: So i relucatantly ate while my mom and step dad ran around getting things ready for company. Kailey was pretty good, just very clingy to me and the friend my mom had over wasn't a "baby" person so she was a downer. Plus she's a snooty rich lady so she just kept talking about herself and how great her life is. THEN my twin shows up w/her boyfriend and of course Carly (my twin) has a present for my mom (thus making me feel even shittier). Andy gets off of work and of course THEN Kailey decides to take a decent nap after about 1/2 an hr of screaming and me walking her around the quiet part of the house, giving andy a chance to eat dinner so we can all have desert. We sing happy birthday to him..have a toast and then Andy comes to tell my that he's gonna go out to a movie w/my "brother-in-law"..I was totally pissed by this cos basically he's just telling me that my free time was gonna be spent taking care of Kailey instead of relaxing..on MOM's DAY of all days. So after he left i got all upset and took Kailey home w/me. She was good and we had a good time watching "Big Fish" and playing but after about an hour of that she was back to being tired and cranky. My mom and sister showed up and my mom took her for a little bit while my sis started bitching at me about not buying enough junk food...grrr. My mom was mad at my step dad because he's an alcoholic and he bought a 40 of beer while "going to get gas" (my mom's not letting him drink so he hasn't for months). She left soon after Big Fish was over and then Andy came home and had to go to the bathroom but i was like..nope..you can go when she goes to sleep..and handed her off to him. After about 1/2 an hr she went to bed and he got to relieve himself and then said I get free time next weekend so I think i might go see my pal reed in berkeley and see how much my next tattoo is gonna cost (which andy gets to pay for since I have no $$). I'm still kinda bitter about andy not giving me any free time but the whole day was kinda shot from the begining. It's tough staying at home all day..having no income and being able to just be like "oh i'm gonna go see a movie...so can I have some money?". Being sleep deprived and having to do a double shift of Kailey crankyness was not my ideal mother's day forecast..but that's how it was..can't change it. :roll:
DO what we do in our family :
we say HAPPY MAMA'S DAY
I don't like being called mother either, it makes me feel old and yucky I am a young mama and lovin' it!