Ok so heres my situation...Im 19 and i just started working at albertsons. Theres a 17 year old boy there that likes me...and i like him 2. But he has a girlfriend whose step mom works at albertsons. That is how he got the job there. Ive been talking to him for a while and ive been hanging out at his house. We have kissed a few times and stuff. He says hes gonna break up with his gf soon...LOL...and i told him im not gonna go any further with just a friend...and he said i may not be just his friend for much longer. SO...i dont know what to do cause i really do like him...and im sexually attracted to him as well. i havent had sex with anyone in 4 years but im seriously contemplating doing it with this boy...lol...please help me!!!!!!!!!!!
I say you wait until he breaks up with his girlfriend first. If he doesn't take that step, he may just be using you. Then take it from there. When the urge comes sneaking around the corner, it can be hard to resist. Do what's right for you. Good luck!
wait until he turns 18 to have sex with him.
well, first of all, if he has a girlfriend, you should keep your paws off until they are no longer together....that is, if he decides to take that route. how would you like it if your boyfriend was messing around with some other chick behind your back? thats part of the problem with girls...we're MEAN to each other....we get all catty, and we're always in competition, when we really should be sticking together.
and second of all, you have a child, right? im not trying to tell you whats right for you or anything, but 17 year old boys -- for the most part -- are not really very mature. so, i dont know how serious this is or anything, but keep his maturity level + your baby at the forefront of your mind when dealing with the situation.
Just because you HAVE a child, doesn't mean that your child needs to be involved in a relationship you have with someone else. Don't date someone or not date them due to your kid. If you're not looking for a long time commitment, then there's no reason to get your kid involved in your relationship.
If you're really into this guy, wait until he breaks up with his girlfriend. Make sure your store doesn't have a policy against coworkers dating. And I'd wait a bit to make your relationship public. You don't want the girls step-mom to take revenge against either of you.
When I was 19 I met this guy at a concert, we started hanging out and getting real close. He always said the right things. It never accured to me to ask his age, until his mom told me what year he was born..... he was 16. I had no clue! He didn't want me to know, and he was really good at first at convincing me that age didn't matter, but I soon learned that it did, I could still see the 16 year old boy in him, like the way he acted, I think he still had some growing up to do, and I was in over my head, luckly, I guess, he stood me up, and I was so heartbroken I never saw him again. I don't know if this story will help, but you reminded me of it, hopefully there's some insight.
thats what i was trying to say, but i guess i left it a little vague. ive known plenty of people whose moms regularly tromped different strange men through the house all their lives; sometimes they hit on them, sometimes they hit them, etc. not that im saying anyone here would allow that to happen to their baby, just that imo, its better not to involve your baby, for many reasons, unless you are expecting something long term out of a relationship.
It's pretty ageist to automatically assume that just because he is young, that he is immature, and I don't think she should limit who she dates just because she is a mother. Limit contact that these men have with your child, but not with yourself if that's what you want.
If he's saying he's going to break up with his girlfriend - wait until he does, or else he may just be stringing you along as well. I do agree with waiting until he's 18 to have sex with him as well. As long as you're cautious and aware I don't see any problem with dating a man who's younger then you are :)
I agree with Naivete. I dont see anything wrong dating someone younger, but I wouldnt bring your baby into it, unless you think that its going to be a long term thing. Just be careful about sex..if hes underage, you could get into trouble. Good luck!
im pretty sure this is what i just said....
and its not ageist to assume that because he is young, he is immature. its a relatively educated guess. the simple truth is:
a) boys mature, in many ways, at a slower rate than girls.
b) many boys, even well into their 20's are not ready for a
commitment, and still enjoy playing mind games with
girls, which, no offense, but that is what it seems like this
guy is doing, if hes fooling around on his current girl at this
very moment. what makes girls think that, if he cheated on
his last g/f with YOU, he wont eventually cheat on you, too??
and last, i dont know where jessiesmom lives, but in the us, the law for statutory rape is all pretty similar from state to state. if the younger person is over the age of 16, then there is 4-5 year leway. (sp?) (the leway amount is really what varies from state to state.) so if she is 19 or 20, even, and he is 17, there is no possibility of a rape charge being brought against her unless he, himself, files it.
check http://www.ageofconsent.com ;)
While I honestly think that if you two like each other two years probably isn't that big of a deal, I do think that it's a big deal that he was willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you.
I do think, on a site for young moms, that it is a bit inappropriate to say that INHERENTLY because of someones young age they are too irresponsible. The maturity level doesn't HAVE to be on par with yours. He's not parenting.
I think that keeping relationships separate from parenting is a good idea. The guy that I'm dating knows Zoe, and we all go to the park every once in a while, but for the most part, I only see him when she's asleep or out of the house.
even if you really dig him, respect the other woman. if he's going to break up with her, then wait until he does before you go after him. if he's not going to break up with her, then he's playing you both.
and no matter what, wait until he's 18 to have sex.
i think its more of a gender bias than an age one, actually. but i do think that he should be mature enough to deal with the fact that she has a baby. and, as the situation has been described, it doesnt sound like it. like i said before, boys even into their 20s many times arent mature enough not to screw around.
i know one 26-yr. old who has a baby, and he is responsible and he goes to work everyday and he doesnt screw around and hes very mature. i know another 26-yr. old who's incrdeibly immature and screws around on his girl all the time.
i think that the ability to take someone else's feelings into consideration has a LOT to do with the level of maturity.
AND im not saying dont date him because hes young, im just saying that the baby doesnt necessarily need to be involved.
Absoultly if you date someone they should be able to deal with the fact that you have a kid.
But, I think that saying that a guy- because of his AGE- is inherently going to be to immmature to handle it is the same as saying that a woman can't be a good parent at x age because she'll be immature. Do you know what I'm saying?
I don't know if this guy is mature or not mature enough- it doesn't really sound like it- it sounds like he's playing games- but, I wouldn't say that because of his AGE he's not mature enough.
Thank you for wording that better than I ever could have Kat.
K well that guy turned out to be SOOOO immature! i stopped talking to him about 2 and a half weeks ago...just a couple days after i wrote this post! I was so stupid for liking him! I have NO clue what I was thinking! Thank you girls...u give awesome advice!!!