I've been dating my boyfriend for about two months now and I just found out a few days ago I'm pregnant. I took an EPT test in his grandparents bathroom. When I saw the two pink lines I just sat there and stared at it in disbelief. I'm not really upset about being a mom, I'm upset as to what my dad will think. He's always been proud of me for making the right choices in life, and I know he'll be really disappointed in me. I feel very lost and alone, everytime I confront my boyfriend he just stares at me, unknowing as to what he can do. I feel for him aswell, I know this is tough for him and he also has a lot of mixed feelings but I need him so much. I just want to hide under a rock forever right now.
My mom died when I was 12 and I don't come in much contact with family except my father. I'm just so afraid of telling him, so afraid of seeing...hearing him cry. I don't want that to happen, I always want to be his little girl who ran around the house and played. I'm 18, and when I had my last birthday my dad got teary-eyed because he knew I was growing up. I know that he'll adjust but I don't want to see the heart break in his face.
I have all these weird ups and downs, where I get so happy and excited about the baby but then I just want to be a little girl again. I never realized how precious being carefree and small was until now. I don't have any siblings so sometimes I just wished for a baby, someone to love and that was mine. My family doesn't really include me so I always wanted a person in my life that was real family, that always needed me there for them. I'm afraid as to how we'll ever afford a child, how we'll ever make it by happily. I just pray to God this all works out. I'm really afraid right now...just wanted to vent. Thanks for any support.
Hey girl keep your head up!! Your father may be disappointed but he won't be heart broken. And the disappointment will not last. He's proud of you no matter what. It's just hard for parents to deal with certain things because everyone looks at their child as perfect and can do no wrong. He will soon start remembering what a blessing you were when you were born and be excited. Trust me! I've had plenty of friends that had gotten pregnant in high school and their parents were upset at first but they did their best to help out. It's not just your child but his first grandbaby!!!Disappointing your parents is just apart of growing up.It's going to happen, and for some reason God wanted this to happen. Your father sounds like a pretty loving parent and will be there for you no matter what decision you make and so will we!!
Most parents get an initial shock, and how they handle it doesn't really matter, because it's not how they're going to feel about it forever. My mother was very disappointed too, but then when she realized how happy I was she was there for me. Now, she adores Trey more then life itself, I'm sure given time your father would be happy and supportive even if you have to deal with the 'heartbreak face' (which I know toooo well) in the beginning.
Are you sure it's something you're ready for? This site is a fabulous abortion resource/support site in case that's one of the choices you're considering as well. If you choose to continue the pregnancy as well, it's a fabulous resource/support site :)
Being a parent is a big deal, and no doubt it will change your life forever - make sure it's something you want and something you are ready for and don't let anyone else try to pressure you either way.
I know what you mean when you say you feel now that you took being small and carefree for granted, I think that's one of the most common reactions to a positive pregnancy test - it means maturing more then you already are and it means huge responsibilities - all which can be scary.
I'm sure given the time, your boyfriend will get over the shock as well, and I hope he'll be there for you whatever your choice will be. You're in my thoughts, PM me if you ever need to talk!
Welcome to Girl-Mom; I'm glad you found us. :) What are you feeling right now about your pregnancy? If you weren't worried about your dad and boyfriend's opinions, what would you want to do? Whatever you choose, there are options open to you.
Being a mother definitely changes you, at the very core. Once you are responsible for someone else, it's hard to feel carefree and spontaneous. I became a mother at 18, and it definitely changed me in a lot of ways. Having a child is a different experience for everyone, but most people will find that they aren't the same after having a kid, both for better and for worse. It's a big decision, so take some time to weigh everything and decide what's right for you right now. If you ever need to talk or need advice, there are people here who are raising kids, are birthmothers who placed babies for adoption, and have had abortions, so we'd be happy to help you in any way that we can. :)
what jen said...
rxqueen-we will support you in any decision you make. good luck, i hope that you are able to find support in your community no matter what you decide to do, and we're all here for you as well.
jennifer985-there are people of all religions and backgrounds here. saying things like "god wanted this to happen" is one of the ways anti-choicers try to justify their stance. have you read our mission statement? it's linked in my signature.
I know how hard this can be. I became a mother at the age of 16, and let me tell u it has been a hard road..but i love it. I also had an abortion when my daughter was 3 months old. We will support you no matter what! Being a young mom is hard, but its definitely do able. Also, if you feel right now is not the time, an abortion is also a choice. Forget what everyone around you says..forget how THEY will feel. Look inside yourself and think honestly what YOU want and how YOU feel. Good luck and if you need anything at all, you can always PM me.
at the risk of sounding redundent. (sp?) parents get over it.my mother still to this day has lingering feelings but! she loves kayleigh and would help me out. in a heart beat. its true everyones different but dont be fooled. there are more happy teen moms than the media would like you to believe. i wish you all the best.
melissa