I cannot believe this drama. Yesterday I went out with my mom and when we came back my dad told me that BD had called and called and sounded lik he was going to hurt himself. So my dad went to the apartment and he had taken about 15 Aleeve or so. So my dad called the ambulance to come get him and now BD is in the hospital on a damn psych unit.
I am NOT going to get back with him because of this. But it's like he's trying to make me feel so guilty. He keeps calling me like if I straighten up will you come back to me? But I am telling him no straight up because I can never trust him again, plus we just have too much bullshit in our past.
But I still feel like shit right now. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing the right thing, and other times I feel like a horrible person. Like I'm just giving up when I could try harder and work things out. But he has had SOOO many chances.
Anyways- that's the update on my breakup. I'm just trying to stay strong and not go back.
BD attempted suicide
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Sun, 2004-10-24 09:27
#1
BD attempted suicide
I'm so sorry he's putting you through this. That sucks. It's NOT your fault.
He took 15 Aleeve? Like, the headache medicine? That won't do anything will it, besides make you really sick? This attempt reminds me of the kids in highschool who would swallow a bottle of tylonal to try and "commit suicide".
It's a good thing that he's been hospitalized, clearly he needs the help. His mental health, though, is NOT your responsiblility AT ALL. You do NOT have to go back to him, you do NOT have to feel guity for this.
Don't let him make you feel bad. His problems are not your fault.
Please, don't let him make you feel guilty!!!! I don't know why you two broke up, but if you don't want to be with him, don't let him guilt you into it!!!!My bd used to do shit like that all of the time.It is a good thing that he is getting the help that he needs, so don't feel bad about that. I Hope everything gets better! PM me if you need to talk!
I went through the same with my BD when I wouldn't take him back after he dumped when I told him I was pregnant. This is not YOUR fault you are not responsable for his actions or behaviar. He is trying to manpilate you and he will back off eventally if you stay strong and keep saying NO. You are so much better off without him and oyu can do so much better. He cearly needs help by doing what he did. Please PM me if you need to talk. I'm here.
This is in NO way your fault. He needs help and hes getting it, which is a good thing. Good luck!
"Like I'm just giving up when I could try harder and work things out. But he has had SOOO many chances. "
It sounds like this is how he wants you to feel. I think we all know that 15 Aleve won't kill us...it's sending a message. Sometimes the message is, "I need help, notice that." and other times it can be more sinister, an attempt to scare you.
Laura, just from reading what you write here, i KNOW you've given him a lot of chances. Malik isn't a newborn anymore, his dad shouldn't still be adjusting to he responsibility of having a child.
you have the right to see what's out there in life and what you want. you have the right to decide that you don't need an extra person depending on you for things he should be able to take care of himself. you have the right to stand up for what you decide is best for you and your child, to not settle, and to not be backed into any corners.
My son's father used to threaten to kill himself if i broke up with him (this was before D was concieved, we haven't dated since then) and it's such a terrible form of manipulation. i consider it abuse, because a person is trying to control your actions by trapping you between a rock and a hard place. choose what he wants, and you're miserable, but choose what you want and the shadow of the threat looms over you. it's unfair.
you can help him without being with him. suggest counseling, or if he can't afford that, buy him a journal and some books on depression. encourage him to find some kind of activity he enjoys, whether that's sports with friends, taking Malik to the park, a new job, etc.
Just a note though, that while taking more than the recommended dose of Tylenol or other OTC pain relievers probably won't kill you, it can do damage to your organs. Tylenol can actually cause liver damage in surprisingly small doses, so be careful.
Laura,
Hey wow, I'm sorry that you are going through this. If there is anything I can do, let me know. You are one STRONG mama.
pm me, thinking of you...
ames
Yucky. My ex did some horrible, suicidal things when I broke up with him. It's really hard deal with, but it is not your fault. Some people just need to hit rock, rock bottom before they can get themselves together.
Also, Aleeve is quite different than other OTC pain pills. You aren't suppose to take more than 2 in a 24 hour period because they have a different chemical in them than most OTC pills. Taking 15 of them might not kill you, but it could probably wreck your digestive tract or your liver.
Thanks so much to everybody for the support. It's been a tough weekend and he is STILL calling and calling and calling... My parents have been helping me though. My dad took Malik up to see him yesterday so I didn't have to go. And my mom called the nursing unit and reported him when he kept calling excessively one night (he is still in the hospital). He keeps calling me and begging me to take him back. He's like I'll stay and get help and really straighten up- then will you take me back? I've been trying to be nice to him cuz I know it's hard but he's really just getting on my nerves now that he keeps calling and whining. Each day I'm feeling less guilty and more like I just want him outta my life for GOOD. Even if he does straighten out I don't think I could ever go back to him and feel positive about it because I don't trust him to do the right things and make good decisions. He wants me to come to the hospital and do some family meeting but I really don't wanna see him and I feel like he's just trying to get me up there to beg in person. So I told him if it's really important for his health for me to go up there then he can have his nurse call me. He also wants me to take Malik up there but I'm going to drop Malik and BD's mom off there today so I don't have to see him. I feel really bad for him cuz I know he has nothing right now, but this man cannot keep screwing up my life just because he wants to screw up his.
So I"m hangin' in there! Thanks again!
You have no obligation to go there. His mental health is not your responsibility.
I think you have, also, every right to tell him that you don't want him calling you anymore. If he continues to do so, report him. This is harrasment, even if he is being hospitalized that does not make his behavior ok.
Like Kat said, aleeve won't do anything, this was not a suicide attempt it was a manipulation attempt.
Don't feel bad, it's not your fault.