thinking about this in relation to myself...anyone have personal stories/opinions (haha i actually just wrote "openings" there...what was that about sex addiction julie?)/etc?
Honestly if you are a sex addict I think that is healthy as long as it isn't endangering anyone, or with a minor, or sexually assaulting someone. I love sex myself!!!
I hear you talk of amazing sex quite a bit. I think if I were getting amazing sex, I'd probably be a sex addict too. ;) Enjoy it, not many people are getting it like that. ;)
I hear you talk of amazing sex quite a bit. I think if I were getting amazing sex, I'd probably be a sex addict too. ;) Enjoy it, not many people are getting it like that. ;)
thinking about this in relation to myself...anyone have personal stories/opinions (haha i actually just wrote "openings" there...what was that about sex addiction julie?)/etc?
I TRY to not have sex, but i end up doing it anyways!
I think that enjoying really great sex whenever you can doesn't really constitute an addiction, or if it is an addiction that as long as it doesn't interfere with your normal life outside of sex that you're fine. I'd only think the problem could come from always needing sex, not doing other important things continually because of sex, etc.
I think our sexuality is a very big part of ourselves and one that is shunned or silenced (especially since we're young) so that when we do enjoy it and want to have sex more and more we feel like we're doing something wrong, when we're not. It's you body and enjoy it :D
i have thought about it and wondered myself at times if i thought i had a 'sex addiction'
I found this definition of sex addiction:
Sex addiction is a way some people medicate their feelings and/or cope with their stresses to the degree that their sexual behavior becomes their major coping mechanism for stresses in their life. The individual often can not stop this sexual behavior for any great length of time by themselves. The sex addict spends a lot of time in the pursuit of his or her sexual behavior/fantasy or they may have a binge of sexual behaviors.
This is what convinced me that maybe i wasn't a sex addict, i just liked good sex with the wrong people. A lot of it.
There's nothing wrong with a healthy sexual appetite. Don't feel odd or ashamed that you have a high libido... just embrace it and don't let it control you.
I know what you mean about sex being a coping mechanism for stress. I find whenever I am highly stressed, I want it more because it is the only thing that really comforts me. I have recently had to deal with a lot of problems from my childhood (I realized that there was such a thing as an EMOTIONALLY abusive household). My Dad and my Mom are married, but I think my Dad REALLY HATED having children. He was also VERY scary, and I think he may be a manic depressive that never saught the right help. When I was learning to cope with some of the memories I had shut out, my sex drive was completely insatiable. I think it actually bothered my husband to a degree. It is weird though because when I am under a deadline my sex drive sinks through the floor.
I also think that I am addicted to stress which doesn't help. I have to keep myself constantly busy. Before I had my second child I was working, going to school full-time, being a mommy, and trying to keep up with a house. People were always like "How do you do it?!" But it didn't seem like enough for me. I just enjoyed the feeling of "okay, what is there next to do? Am I going to be able to juggle all of this? Pile it on and see how far I can go". So I decided to have a second baby, and I would still be working had I not been harassed by customers about being "too young to be a mom." So now its two kids, the house, full time school, volunteer work at a teen pregnancy center, and a support group I run at school. It is not just being a student, it is being a straight A student. If I don't graduate with my GPA above a 3.7 to receive highest honors I might just go off of the deep end. I know it's not right, but I do it anyway. I am terribly afraid that if I sit still for a minute my brain is going to catch up with me and start thinking about my past, and I am afraid of ending up like my father who lives in his own abusive past. At any rate, I am such a highly charged person that I think it makes me kinda addicted to sex.
growing up, as a teenager i had sex to "fit in" to be accpeted. every one loves a gir who puts out right?
now i dont even want it that much. i find reasons not to. I mean, i dunno, i guess i am the anti-sex addict.
I really enjoy sex, but it seems like it always comes back to haunt me. I don't know... I think the people around me just don't understand. I really don't see anything wrong with sex if both people are consenting and mature about it. In highschool I took a lot of heat because I wasn't ashamed of my own sexuality. I am still struggling to find a balance b/t what I feel good with and what is "acceptable". I definately don't think I'm a sex addict though. I just enjoy it. It's not even an emotional thing all the time- physically it feels good and I don't personally don't see anything wrong with having sex with somebody just because you WANT to have SEX and not necessarily a relationship... although some people may think this is all a cover up and that I might secretly have self esteem issues- I disagree. Okay, I'll get off my soap box now.
I hear you talk of amazing sex quite a bit. I think if I were getting amazing sex, I'd probably be a sex addict too. ;) Enjoy it, not many people are getting it like that. ;)
Exactly!! i wish i had this addiction but i have not been so lucky i guess!
my dad has a sexual addiction and it isn't pretty. he has now lost 2 marriages to it and has other addiction issues.
i know that a lot of you didn't mean it but as someone whose life has been very negatively affected by a sex addict, i am feeling very bothered by a lof of the comments. :(
I love sex. I take a lot more precautions now than I did a year ago or so, but I love it. I think like some of you said it's kind of a good way to handle stress for me. If I'm feeling sad or stressed out or I had a bad day or whatever, sex is one of the only things that will really get me to calm down and comfort me.
Vig, I can completely understand how you would be offended and I apoligize for anything I said to contribute to that. This thread is taking sex addiction very lightly and I think maybe we should start a new thread if we wanna just talk straight sex talk and leave the addiction part out. Sorry again.
Oh man I'm really sorry. I didn't read your comment before I posted my own, and I feel really bad. I'm sorry if you thought I was disrespecting you in any way.
Vig, I understand how this could have hurt you and Im sorry. I didn't really think about the title much, and about the addiction part of it. I was just thinking we were talking about sex, in general. Again, Im sorry you were hurt.
I think actual sex addiction is when you are using it in unhealthy ways (i.e. to repress bad feelings, kinda the same as a drug addiction or whatever.) I don't think there is such a thing as having too much sex if both people are satisfied with said amount. LIke I said, I only think it is a problem if you are using it as a crutch for negative feelings and/ or it is the only thing that can help you deal with your problems or feelings.
I sometimes joke that I am a sex addict because I have a lot of sex, but I realize that it isn't fulfilling some negative void in my life. I'm not saying I never use sex to deal with negative things (hello, hot make-up sex), but it isn't the only coping mechanism I have, kwim?
I agree, Vig. Some of the responses in this thread, while probably not meant to be hurtful, are pretty dismissive (ie, "I wish I had that problem!"). Sex addiction is a very real issue, not something that's trivial or fun to have. Let's make sure the responses stay respectful, ok?
Sorry. I think everyone was throwing the term addiction around lightly, myself included. I thought it was a thread about loving sex, and I think I could have realized that there's a better term then sex addiction to use when it relates to a serious problem in itself. I kind of used it figuratively rather then literally.
ha ha i am totally addicited to sex there is no question about it....i think about sex all the time....my bd and i have had like totally amazing sex so much that now i think about it 24/7 for real...like i never use to masterbate....for some reason i thought it was sick....but one day my man was playing and told me to play too (with myself) and i liked it and now when we aren't around eachother i have to like 4 or 5 times just cause i wish that we were having sex.....and when we are together...i always start the foreplay because i wanna have sex all the time.......and when we do its totally GREAT!!!!!!!! i love my man and i love that he can work it....lol. but i don't think its bad to be addicted to sex....its good for your body to have sex. :D
i guess i should explain alittle more...i am addicted to sex in a good way i don't use it to repress problems....or to get away like drugs i just love haveing sex and can't get enough of it.
i guess i should explain alittle more...i am addicted to sex in a good way i don't use it to repress problems....or to get away like drugs i just love haveing sex and can't get enough of it.
well, hopefully you will re-read what has been said already and think about how hurtful "joking" about any addiction can be.
I also wanted to add something here.
i have not read every post so xcuse me if i am repeating.
I think there are different levels of sexual addiction and some are healthy and others are not.
enjoying and craving sex a lot is alright, but i think when it gets to that point where you are craving from things you cannot have, or addicted to the point where it is unhealty for your relationship (ie, your partner is uncomfortable with your sexual needs or you are bored with your one relationship and need more, but SO does not) it causes the problem. Also, sexual addiction when you are not in a relationship can be a tricky topic. If one is smart and tries to please the sexual needs by way of him/her self and toys that is ok, but if he or she chooses to use partners to satisfy the need that person needs to think about protection, but we all know this. Really, i guess im just saying that as long as a person keeps the addiction in perspective and keeps it from running a course down a one lane dead end all should be well.
i guess i should explain alittle more...i am addicted to sex in a good way i don't use it to repress problems....or to get away like drugs i just love haveing sex and can't get enough of it.
I think you should apologize to Vig and anyone else who was offended by your comments. Vig just spilled her heart about how talking about sex addiction lightly offended her because of what she has been through because of a family members sex addiction, and you made a very ignorant comment. Just because you enjoy sex doesnt make you an addict.
Honestly if you are a sex addict I think that is healthy as long as it isn't endangering anyone, or with a minor, or sexually assaulting someone. I love sex myself!!!
I hear you talk of amazing sex quite a bit. I think if I were getting amazing sex, I'd probably be a sex addict too. ;) Enjoy it, not many people are getting it like that. ;)
Word. ROFL!!!
I TRY to not have sex, but i end up doing it anyways!
I think that enjoying really great sex whenever you can doesn't really constitute an addiction, or if it is an addiction that as long as it doesn't interfere with your normal life outside of sex that you're fine. I'd only think the problem could come from always needing sex, not doing other important things continually because of sex, etc.
I think our sexuality is a very big part of ourselves and one that is shunned or silenced (especially since we're young) so that when we do enjoy it and want to have sex more and more we feel like we're doing something wrong, when we're not. It's you body and enjoy it :D
Word!!! =)
i have thought about it and wondered myself at times if i thought i had a 'sex addiction'
I found this definition of sex addiction:
Sex addiction is a way some people medicate their feelings and/or cope with their stresses to the degree that their sexual behavior becomes their major coping mechanism for stresses in their life. The individual often can not stop this sexual behavior for any great length of time by themselves. The sex addict spends a lot of time in the pursuit of his or her sexual behavior/fantasy or they may have a binge of sexual behaviors.
This is what convinced me that maybe i wasn't a sex addict, i just liked good sex with the wrong people. A lot of it.
There's nothing wrong with a healthy sexual appetite. Don't feel odd or ashamed that you have a high libido... just embrace it and don't let it control you.
I wish I had that problem... I unfortunetly am the opposite.
Thanks for that emily. I have never thought it was ok to proud of a high libido.
Emily,
I know what you mean about sex being a coping mechanism for stress. I find whenever I am highly stressed, I want it more because it is the only thing that really comforts me. I have recently had to deal with a lot of problems from my childhood (I realized that there was such a thing as an EMOTIONALLY abusive household). My Dad and my Mom are married, but I think my Dad REALLY HATED having children. He was also VERY scary, and I think he may be a manic depressive that never saught the right help. When I was learning to cope with some of the memories I had shut out, my sex drive was completely insatiable. I think it actually bothered my husband to a degree. It is weird though because when I am under a deadline my sex drive sinks through the floor.
I also think that I am addicted to stress which doesn't help. I have to keep myself constantly busy. Before I had my second child I was working, going to school full-time, being a mommy, and trying to keep up with a house. People were always like "How do you do it?!" But it didn't seem like enough for me. I just enjoyed the feeling of "okay, what is there next to do? Am I going to be able to juggle all of this? Pile it on and see how far I can go". So I decided to have a second baby, and I would still be working had I not been harassed by customers about being "too young to be a mom." So now its two kids, the house, full time school, volunteer work at a teen pregnancy center, and a support group I run at school. It is not just being a student, it is being a straight A student. If I don't graduate with my GPA above a 3.7 to receive highest honors I might just go off of the deep end. I know it's not right, but I do it anyway. I am terribly afraid that if I sit still for a minute my brain is going to catch up with me and start thinking about my past, and I am afraid of ending up like my father who lives in his own abusive past. At any rate, I am such a highly charged person that I think it makes me kinda addicted to sex.
that is interesting, because my dad is also mentally ill, and an alcoholic, so i wonder if that has anything to do with my promiscuity/high libido...
interesting...something to ponder over anyway.
growing up, as a teenager i had sex to "fit in" to be accpeted. every one loves a gir who puts out right?
now i dont even want it that much. i find reasons not to. I mean, i dunno, i guess i am the anti-sex addict.
I really enjoy sex, but it seems like it always comes back to haunt me. I don't know... I think the people around me just don't understand. I really don't see anything wrong with sex if both people are consenting and mature about it. In highschool I took a lot of heat because I wasn't ashamed of my own sexuality. I am still struggling to find a balance b/t what I feel good with and what is "acceptable". I definately don't think I'm a sex addict though. I just enjoy it. It's not even an emotional thing all the time- physically it feels good and I don't personally don't see anything wrong with having sex with somebody just because you WANT to have SEX and not necessarily a relationship... although some people may think this is all a cover up and that I might secretly have self esteem issues- I disagree. Okay, I'll get off my soap box now.
Exactly!! i wish i had this addiction but i have not been so lucky i guess!
my dad has a sexual addiction and it isn't pretty. he has now lost 2 marriages to it and has other addiction issues.
i know that a lot of you didn't mean it but as someone whose life has been very negatively affected by a sex addict, i am feeling very bothered by a lof of the comments. :(
I love sex. I take a lot more precautions now than I did a year ago or so, but I love it. I think like some of you said it's kind of a good way to handle stress for me. If I'm feeling sad or stressed out or I had a bad day or whatever, sex is one of the only things that will really get me to calm down and comfort me.
Vig, I can completely understand how you would be offended and I apoligize for anything I said to contribute to that. This thread is taking sex addiction very lightly and I think maybe we should start a new thread if we wanna just talk straight sex talk and leave the addiction part out. Sorry again.
Oh man I'm really sorry. I didn't read your comment before I posted my own, and I feel really bad. I'm sorry if you thought I was disrespecting you in any way.
Vig, I understand how this could have hurt you and Im sorry. I didn't really think about the title much, and about the addiction part of it. I was just thinking we were talking about sex, in general. Again, Im sorry you were hurt.
I think actual sex addiction is when you are using it in unhealthy ways (i.e. to repress bad feelings, kinda the same as a drug addiction or whatever.) I don't think there is such a thing as having too much sex if both people are satisfied with said amount. LIke I said, I only think it is a problem if you are using it as a crutch for negative feelings and/ or it is the only thing that can help you deal with your problems or feelings.
I sometimes joke that I am a sex addict because I have a lot of sex, but I realize that it isn't fulfilling some negative void in my life. I'm not saying I never use sex to deal with negative things (hello, hot make-up sex), but it isn't the only coping mechanism I have, kwim?
I agree, Vig. Some of the responses in this thread, while probably not meant to be hurtful, are pretty dismissive (ie, "I wish I had that problem!"). Sex addiction is a very real issue, not something that's trivial or fun to have. Let's make sure the responses stay respectful, ok?
Sorry. I think everyone was throwing the term addiction around lightly, myself included. I thought it was a thread about loving sex, and I think I could have realized that there's a better term then sex addiction to use when it relates to a serious problem in itself. I kind of used it figuratively rather then literally.
Sorry if doing so offended anyone here.
I didnt even think about that vig. I'm sorry about my comment.
don't worry, it is just a raw subject and i know that addiction terms have come to be used very lightly in our society. thanks for the apologies.
ha ha i am totally addicited to sex there is no question about it....i think about sex all the time....my bd and i have had like totally amazing sex so much that now i think about it 24/7 for real...like i never use to masterbate....for some reason i thought it was sick....but one day my man was playing and told me to play too (with myself) and i liked it and now when we aren't around eachother i have to like 4 or 5 times just cause i wish that we were having sex.....and when we are together...i always start the foreplay because i wanna have sex all the time.......and when we do its totally GREAT!!!!!!!! i love my man and i love that he can work it....lol. but i don't think its bad to be addicted to sex....its good for your body to have sex. :D
i guess i should explain alittle more...i am addicted to sex in a good way i don't use it to repress problems....or to get away like drugs i just love haveing sex and can't get enough of it.
well, hopefully you will re-read what has been said already and think about how hurtful "joking" about any addiction can be.
i think im the antisexaddict. i dont "not" like it. i just have to be in a particular mood and it only strikes about 2 or 3 (if lucky) times a week.
im sure my hubby wishes i had julies sex drive!
I also wanted to add something here.
i have not read every post so xcuse me if i am repeating.
I think there are different levels of sexual addiction and some are healthy and others are not.
enjoying and craving sex a lot is alright, but i think when it gets to that point where you are craving from things you cannot have, or addicted to the point where it is unhealty for your relationship (ie, your partner is uncomfortable with your sexual needs or you are bored with your one relationship and need more, but SO does not) it causes the problem. Also, sexual addiction when you are not in a relationship can be a tricky topic. If one is smart and tries to please the sexual needs by way of him/her self and toys that is ok, but if he or she chooses to use partners to satisfy the need that person needs to think about protection, but we all know this. Really, i guess im just saying that as long as a person keeps the addiction in perspective and keeps it from running a course down a one lane dead end all should be well.
I think you should apologize to Vig and anyone else who was offended by your comments. Vig just spilled her heart about how talking about sex addiction lightly offended her because of what she has been through because of a family members sex addiction, and you made a very ignorant comment. Just because you enjoy sex doesnt make you an addict.
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