I can't stand him anymore! He's starting to threaten to take the fetus away after it is born. How can I prevent this from happening? I was told as long as I listed the father on birth certificate as unknown then it gives BD a LOT less power than if he was listed as the father. It is making me freaking sick over this. How could someone be this freaking demented? What the hell do I do?
My BD and I were having problems when I first found out I was expecting. He kept wanting me to get an abortion, and said that if I didn't that he would take me to court and get custody. I was so scared. BUT, your right, he will have alot more trouble if you don't put him on the birth certificate, and just to reassure you, Basically the first year of life the courts always lean tward the mother! Especially if your breastfeeding. But, for now, concentrate on your pregnancy and worry about that once the baby is here. I would't worry about it too much cause the BD's always threaten that cause they know it will scare us. But again the courts are usually on the mothers side. Good luck!
I really wasn't planning on breast feeding but I might have to re-think that now. His family has money, so I know he could go and get a really good lawyer if he ever needed one. I don't want him to have any visitation or anything cos personally I wouldn't trust him with an infant.
My BD has been sayin that he is gonna take Ryan away from me every since Ryan was born. I was worried to at first , but now I'm not worried because sometimes they just say that to try to scare you. People have told me that as long as the mother takes care of her baby and doesn't abuse or neglect it, that the father can't take it from her. About him not gettin to see the baby, that is different. If he starts payin child support they will probally let him get visitations. Or at least thats what I was told about Ryan. I was also told that if he starts comin to visit and payin child support right, that he may be able to get Ryan every other weekend. I would hate that!!!!!
This type of threat is really common. Like seriously common. It's a power struggle. Why the heck would a judge order a mother to give up her new baby? Unless you have a serious history of problems, you should be OK. Threats, like any form of abuse it about control.
CHeck out the article I just wrote about this on the feature page.
I agree with the post above. No court is going to take a baby away from a very capable loving mother. Now, child support and custody are two different things. Paying child support doesn't give him automatic rights to visitation, BUT it's easier for him to get visitation. Again this seems to be a pretty common things that guys will say just to get to women. Focas on yourself and the baby for now and worry about that sitch IF he even fallows through with his threat once the baby is actually here. Good luck hon!
Go talk to a lawyer and find out what your rights and his rights are under the law. Most lawyers will do consultations for free, and if you need references to a pro-bono lawyer PM me your county/state/city and I can find some resources for you.
If he is not listed as father on the birth certificate, then he doesn't have to pay child support. katg, i will pm you with my info.
that should say, if he is not listed as the father on the birth certificate, then he doesn't have to pay child support?
No. Unless they have "proof" that he is the father (either by him voluntarily signing a recognition of parantage, and thus being on the bc, or them doint a paternaty test and positivly identifying him) they will not make him pay child support.
On the flip side, he can't pursue you for visitation, custody, anything at all.