I had a talk with my mom the other night, like a day or so after I went for my ultrasound. The attitude she gave upset me a little and made me feel like she just wasnt hearing me at all.
The background: I am now 21. I am in my 6 1/2 month of my 6th pregnancy. I had 2 miscarages before I was 16. I gave birth to Vicky when I was 17. I had an abortion at 18. And then gave birth to Nick at 19. So this makes 6...
I have been on almost all ortho-tri cycle hormones and had such awful side effects I stopped. I got pregnant with ortho-tri twice. I have used the ring. I was on the Depo shot with this pregnancy and somehow still got pregnant. I have had an IUD. I used to use condoms, but no longer do.
My mom and I got into it because 1. she tried to tell me I just wasnt being safe. That it really just must be me useing birth control wrong and that is why I keep getting pregnant. Then 2. she tried to say I should just get "my reproductive issues under check once and for all with my tubes being cut."
I dont want my tubes cut! I am only 21, what if next year or 10 years from now I want to have a forth? What then? Why should I cut my tubes and make a very perment situation for myself? (The reversal is just as much money as having it done, not that I could afford either, really.)
So now I feel a little hurt and upset about being told what to do with my body and wht should be done with my body...
So, My question is has anybody used non-hormonal birth control that really worked and that they liked? Your answers will be most helpful, thank you.
Natasha
I work for Planned Parenthood and of course I deal with all the BCMs there are really. Well, now adays there are two types of IUDS. THe copper T which is the 10 year NON hormonal one and then there is the Mirena with is plastic WITH hormones that lasts for 5 years. Sometimes, there are just some women that are just too fertile. I would suggest trying a different type of IUD then you had before. That is the one with the least likely chance of getting pregnant. I myself got pregnant off depo...and I know it's hard to trust any birthcontrol methods once you've conceived off them. Have you tried a diapham or cervical cap? Those are non hormonal methods. Maybe you can try on of those and use condom. Latex or non latex with spermicide. I mean, if you really don't wanna get pregnant, then you gotta do whatever you can until you DO want to get pregnant again. Good luck girl! I know how hard that situation can be!
I've never been pregnant, so take that into consideration as you read this.
I use FAM, Fertility Awareness Method. Its certainly an option for anyone. It is a little restrictive in that you need to know about your cycle and the risks associated with vaginal intercourse at that point in time. However, I've learned a tremendous amount about my body. There are no hormones involved, which is a positive thing for me. I get to be aware of what is going on and why my body does certain things, which has helped to improve my body image.
You and your partner would need to set rules... and depending on how strict those are, you should be able to use this method extensively with no pregnancy.
I know that this is sort of vague... but its hard to explain how everything works without going into a lot of details.
Its an option, but requires some learning about your body. I've been using it successfully for about 17 months, and only had one scare (and that was because I didn't follow the rules!), and plan to continue using FAM for a few more years.
Let me know if you want to hear more about it? I'd be happy to explain/recommend some resources.
I also use FAM - and have used it successfully for 2.5 years. It sounds like a really enticing method, because you don't have to take worry about shots or pills or contraptions... and it is great, but you must be willing to make the sacrifices involved in using the method because using FAM incorrectly or you will get pregnant. Missusing it means having sex during your most fertile periods of time. FAM is work - more work than taking the pill. You have to stay on top things every single day, and you have to abstain for days at a time, or use a backup method.
I don't want to dissuade anyone - but the method is really risky to use if you aren't faithful to it, because cheating means a high risk of pregnancy. But if you and your partner are determined - go for it. It's great for a lot of people.
The most comprehensive book on FAM/NFP is called "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler.
I disagree that its much more work than taking a pill everyday. My commitment is to take my temperature every morning. That takes less than one minutes with a decent thermometer. I write the number down and go on my merry way. I always notice my cervical mucous, even before I began understanding its meaning. I just observe it in my underpants while I am goign to the bathroom, something I'd be doing anyway.
if you are not committed to following the rules of any birth control method, you may end up pregnant. The difference with FAM is that its your fault if you end up pregnant. There is no pill/condom/diaphragm/whatever to blame. Its been a very empowering experience for me.
URErin, you're right -- taking temps is totally easy and quick, as is checking CM. I meant more that it takes a commitment every day to abstain when necessary. That can be hard.
Like I said, I love FAM and plan to use it for a long time and I don't like that more people aren't told that it's an option. I don't want to dissuade anyone - but it's a method that requires diligence. I guess all methods do. It's just particularly risky to cheat on this one because if you do, it's right during your most fertile time.
BTW, I also agree that the best thing about FAM is that it's empowering. It's AMAZING to be so aware of what's going on with my body. I LOVE that.
Another thing worth mentioning is that since you do sounds like you are very fertile, FAM can be used like a back up method. You know? You can use some form of birth control and still abstain when you are most fertile. That, I'm sure, what be pretty challenging at times, but it might be worth it if you really don't want another pregnancy. I think that if I had gotten pregnant while on birth control, I would be that paranoid.
Inspire- your right, I'm sorry I didn't read it correctly the frst time.
I guess abstaining for vaginal intercourse isn't such a huge sacrifice when I weigh it against having a child at this point in my life, so I don't even see the sacrifice. Plus, I get to have sex more, now that I'm not petrified of my body and getting pregnant unexpectedly :-)
Do you know where I can get more information about the cap or diaphram(sp?)?? And has anyone used them? What was it like? Where you comfortable? Could you notice it durning sex? Things like that. The IUD I had was hormonal and my OBGYN at the time didnt want to give me the copper one because she said the tests on it show a higher risk of PID. So I always thought it probly wasnt a good idea.
As far as FAM, I have looked into that a lot. But since I do a lot of extended breastfeeding, I cant find information about extended breastfeeding (where you dont have a monthly bleeding time) and using FAM. I tried googleing it, but tend to get more sex sites or things that dont really help.
But maybe I should try again.
I asked my midwife on my last visit, and she told me I could get a ferility test that tells how fertil I am and then work towards something that should work for me. She aslo said that depending on how fertil I am, I could donate my eggs.... But I dont know how I feel about that at all... That is just a whole other subject.
anyways,
I have a few resources here:
"Preventing Pregnancy While Breastfeeding
When to Chart Your Fertility Signals
While you observe dry vaginal sensation and dry CF (cervical fluid), you do not need to chart. You do need to be on the lookout for wet caginal sensation and/or wet cervical fluid. Once these arrive, begin charting your mucus and vaginal sensation along with your waking temperatures and cervix changes. You can expect weeks or months of off-and-on-again mucus, alerting you that you will soon be ovulating. Of course, bleeding would be another signal that you need to begin charting."
Thats a paragraph from a boook I have called The Garden of Fertility by Katie Singer. I haven't completely read the book yet, but it has an entire chapter on breastfeeding and charting. I could scan the pages and email them to you, if you like.