so, i know we have two different prvilage threads going right now, so let me know if i'm overdoing it here, but i think straight privilage is also something that is important to examine. here are some examples that i've mostly noticed a few i've experienced firsthand.
as a straight person there is no reason to keep your sexual orientation or identity a secret.
you can be sure that your parents and family won't disown you or think worse of you simply based on your sexual orientation or identity.
you can be sure that people through out history and in the mainstream media with the same sexual orientation as you will be widely represented, and if they maybe wern't that fact is largely questioned and debated.
you can be sure that your sexua orientaton won't be a disadvantage to you in your everyday interactions.
you can be sure that your legal rights as a straight person arn't going to be constantly debated politically and tried in a court of law.
you can be sure that you won't be judged and harrased based soley on your sexual orientation.
you can be sure that you sexual orientation won't effect how you advance in the work place, it won't be an issue when applying for a job.
if your spouce of the opposite sex suddenly dies without a will you can be sure that you will be able to inherit some of their wealth or valuable belongings. and you can collect social security if they die before you.
if your spouce of the opposite sex dies, you can be sure you will be mentioned and acknowleged in obituaries and eulogies and during the funeral or memorial service.
you can easily get leggally married.
you can be affectionate (hold hands, kiss, cuddle) with some one of the opposite sex in appropriate public settings without worrying about people staring at you, rude comments or harrasment.
you can be sure that your sexual orientation is the "norm" and is never considered, sinful, wrong, weird, strange, trendy etc.
you will most likely not be told your "just going through a phase" when discussing your sexual orientation.
i know theres many more i'm not thinking of but thats some off the top of my head.
a straight person has no need to "out" themselves.
a straight person can expect to visit their spouse should their spouse become hospitalized.
a straight person can show affection to their significant other without it being viewed as "a statement"
a straight person does not have to wonder if their mannerisms are "too straight"
a straight person can refer to their significant other freely, without wondering whether it will have an effect on how he or she is recieved at work or in a social situation.
a straight woman can use her husbands credit card if need be, and when questioned by a clerk say it's my husbands (if they have chosen to share a last name) & about half the time be told she can use it.
a straite person can be assured that if they have children, and are married, if they die their children will live with their spouce.
If two straight people- of opposite genders- are walking down the street holding hands, it does not automatically become a political statement.
Okay so this one here makes me upset.
I was out as a lesbian for several years. I had several girlfriends, was out everywhere, was part of the gay youth groups and all that jazz. I did a bunch of drugs and had sex with anyone because I was so messed up, and ended up getting pregnant. I quit drugs and realized, no im not really bisexual. I am a lesbian, but me and my boyfriend are very cloose and have been through alot together, and have an emotional connection deeper then a sexual attracting. So it dosent matter to us. I know some people will disagree with that, so if you have a problem with me saying im a lesbian while I have a boyfriend, I also identify as just queer. Not bisexual.
I dont feel straight people are any more privleged then me.
I dont think that someone who is straight should feel grateful they arent gay because they have more rights.
Its like... I would feel hurt if someone said I feel privlaged that I have blonde hair because brunettes get looked down upon. Its the same idea.
I find it insulting that people think they are better off or more privlaged then me because they are striaght. If you pity someone for being diffrent, and are thankful you are not in the same situation as them, it is just as hurtful as being rude to them because of it. I dont want anyone to think they are better off just because they are straight.
And im not saying this as someone who had an easy time with comming out. I got teased and bullied in school. My mother wouldnt talk to me for a long time. I had a knife pulled on me and two friends by some assholes who had a problem with us being gay and on the same skytrain as them.
I have my own list of privlages I geuss...
The privlages of being homosexual
I have had my eyes opened to and experinced discrimnation first hand, which has made me a stronger and more open minded person
I have the ability to open others eyes to an alternate but not lesser lifestyle and help them to realize that diffrent dosent mean bad
I have access to youth groups, clubs, special counciling, support groups, and help lines all based on my sexual orientation
If anyone says anything towards me in a negative way about my sexual orientation, its not just discrimination, its a hate crime, and they will be delt with much more severely in court
The fight for the rights of gay marriage is a privlage in which I was blessed enough to be born in a time where I got to see it happen in my country. The arguments in the court proved that society was moving forwards in accepting people in all walks of life
In my city, and in cities across the country, and I beleive in the united states, entire weeks are devoted to the celebration of Gay Pride, often with festivials and parades
I can go to a straight bar or a gay bar depending on my mood
I have my own phone book, that has listings of all gay friendly or gay orintated buisnesses
I have a day of silance that is honored throughout highschools and offices in which millions of people take a vow of silance for one day to symbolize the quiet suffering in which some homosexuals live
I can go into any restraunt or hotel I want too that caters to anyone, Or I can choose to go to an exclsively gay resort that caters to homosexuals
I am recognized as a large market in which to gear products and merchandice towards, and have many products that are designed for my sexual orintation, from books to candle holders to sex toys to dinner plates to clothing
Large cities often have entire districts that cater towards homosexuals, with hotels, resturants, and retail job oppertunities that are open to only homosexuals
A trendy gay male is more likely to be hired on the spot then a trendy female in upscale fashion retail outlets
I can think of more but I think thats enough...
I'm straight, but it irks me that quite a few straight people I know think that someone gay just hasn't met the "right person" of the opposite sex yet. In that case they should agree that maybe they are gay and just haven't met the "right person" of the same sex yet, but they get mad if I say that. :roll:
That is one straight priviledge I'm aware of because I hear the above being said a lot about/to people who are gay.
I disagree. Saying that straight people have more priveledge than gay people isn't meant to be demeaning or pitying them, its just true, and its raising awareness.
I'm bisexual and a lot of those points listed really hit home for me. I lost friends because of it, my mom and several of my friends told me I was just 'going through a phase' which is very insulting, and implys that my orientation and feelings aren't real or important. When out with my girlfriend everyone would stare when we held hands, and one time in a fairly deserted park we were kissing and some people shouted insults and I feared for our safety, although luckily it didn't go beyond shouts. Now that I'm in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex I really feel the priveledge that I have because of it. I don't feel out of place or conspicuous when out with him, which is huge. And I was priveledged even compared to other gays, since I live in Toronto which is hugely more accepting of it than other places, especially in the States.
You listed marriage as a priveledge of being gay. But its not, straight people have that too, and theirs is more socially acceptable.
Some of the others like special groups, bars, pride week, are progress, but are things that its a shame that they are needed. Every other youth group, bar, other 51 weeks of the year assume straightness, so is it really a priveledge to have 1 week, some bars, etc.? I don't think so.
And experiencing discrimination is NOT a priveledge, even if you did learn from it.
Just because someone else feels that something I beleive is a privlage isnt, dosent mean I dont consider it one. Ive feared for my safety too. Ive had people say shit too. I dont think for one minute I am more privlaged right now because I am in a "straight" relationship. Just because you do dosent mean I cant feel just as privlaged for being in a gay relationship.
just for the record, i consider my self queer, so this list was not created from the perspective of hey i'm straight and so much more privilaged lets examine it, i used to indetify as straight (but had my doubts) and for much longer so i've been on both sides of the fence. it was more lets just examine this while we're at examining privilages.
and i do really like your list of advantages to be queer. it puts a more positive spin on things, i agree, but still that dosn't take away the fact that homosexuality is still largely frowned about as a whole in this society. and when it comes to bussinesses that cater specifically to lgbtq folks, i'm still not sure wheather to think it's a step towards acceptance or just bussinesses capitalizing on the fact that more people are out now and theres a more outward gay culture. something to think about.
i've experienced a similar thing recently. it made me think wow, no one would have even blinked an eye much less made any sort of comment had i been doing the same thing with my male ex in the same park. also in the same park there was a hetero couple kissing much more heavily than we were in a much more obvious spot and while a few people maybe adverted their eyes no one seemed to care much, much less said anything. like it was a regular occurence which i'm sure it was.
and just to clarify, that dosn't mean that kissing my ex in the park is somehow better only becuase of the lack of rude comments, not at all, not in a million years. rude comments and the weirdness of being watched could never take away or lessen the fact that i had one of the best nights of my life with her. it just further opened my eyes to the level prvilage i had while in a long term hetero relationship.
Oh is that how mine came out? I didn't mean to imply that either.
no, not at all.
it just seemed from misskitty's post that she thought this list was focusing on the neggative side of how it might be to be queer, and thats not what i was not what i was trying to do at all.
You know what?
I think that it fucking sucks that I can't feel safe kissing my girlfriends, when I have them. I think that it fucking sucks that I get comments from men and women about my sexuality being used as the definition of what's wrong with women (she's SUCH a dyke! -- in responce to a strong woman). I think that it fucking sucks that everywhere I look straight relationships are justified.
And, you know, if this is educational to someone who isn't queer, if this helps to remind me of my privilage when i'm with a guy, if this makes it so that ONE more fucking person can NOT stare if I hold hands with a girlfriend -- than that's what this has accomplished.
I am NOT ashamed to be queer. I'm fucking proud of it. I wouldn't WANT to be any other way. However, I do want my society to accept me for who I am no matter WHO I choose to date -- this goes for the queer and the straight communities here (I'm not gay enough to be a lesbian, but I date women so I can't be straight.
That's great that you're cool with all those things, Miss Kitty, buy you know what? I don't WANT my relationships to be a political statement, I want to be able to just have them. I don't WANT to HAVE to have separate phone books because I'm afraid of harrassment if I go to straight run hotels/buisnesses. I don't WANT to have to fight for my right to marry whomever the fuck I want to. When I'm dating a woman, I want to just be able to walk through the park by my house and not get comments on it.
That's wonderful that you think that's all great. I think that it fucking sucks that it has to be that way.
I want my partner to be able to have health care if I have health care. I want my kid to be able to go to school and be safe no matter WHAT her mama and dads sexuality is. There are kids here who are beaten up every day because their PARENTS are queer -- not even them!
That's wonderful that you think that's all great. I think that it fucking sucks that it has to be that way.
just becuase there's one pride weekend and one day of silence out of the whole year dosn't take away all the other shit that one deals with on a daily basis as a queer person. it's like saying african americans should be happy just becuase they have one month out of the year devoted to celebrating their history and heritage (the shortest month of the year i might add). it dosn't fucking erase centuries of oppression and hate, or even make it any better as long as people are feeling the effects every day of their lives anyway.
Me and my wife have an agreement that I won't post any obituaries if she dies, as doing so may alert her estranged parents to swoop in and take custody of one of our three kids, a kid they have never met born after my wife ceased contact with them (cause they are homo-hating pigs).
My youngest son, my middle child, my little brown eyed boy may get taken from me if my wife dies.. the fear is so great I can't publish an acknowledgement of her death should she die.. it really fucks me up.
Not mentioning the more day to day concerns... the amount of folk who ask us "who's the real mum?" about our kids. Or time and time again hearing folks refer to my wife as my friend, after I've already corrected them. we have 3 kids and have been together 7 years.. but what does that count to the ignorant?
Or having "the issue of lesbian mothers" debated in my uni lectures like we're a subject not people, with my classmates free to say hateful things as part of debate, everyone being allowed to an opinion after all, even to say my family is sick. For or against.. This is my life we're talking about folks.
Miss Kitty, is your list for real, come on. Not one of those things is a privilege.
It all makes me sad.
But nice to know that queer blokes may find it easier to get a job in a clothing store, and that some underfunded phone couselling services operate for queer kids in a select few who face such a higher rate of suicide anyway.
EDIT
*for queer kids in a select few areas
wulfemother
you can be sure that your legal rights as a straight person arn't going to be constantly debated politically and tried in a court of law.
I agree this sucks, and should not exist to begin with.But because it is to so many, I see every debate and court proceding another posotive step in the right direction for equal rights.
When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible but in the end, they always fall -- think of it, ALWAYS.
Gandhi, Mahatma
I love this thread. all the priviliges ya'll posted are true.
thats a great quote and i agree, every debate is step in a positive direction to equality, but i still think it's a privilage that straight people have that they dont' even have to worry about it. they can do so many things regarding their relationships that queer people can't without fighting for every single right.
I agree 100%.
3 years ago where I live is when the big time battles for rights started.
One year ago I was a bridesmaid at my brothers wedding to his now husband of one year.It's worth the fight ,but my brother should not have had to fight to get married because he love and wants to spend the rest of his life with his husband. It should have just been there.
I know the next discrimination they will now face is adoption.And It is harsh in the sence that I know if/when I get married my concerns will be about my wedding, For Thor (my bro) it was that stress and alot more.