I am 37 weeks and i am so scared. but thats not the problem. as it gets closer i am starting to wish that this hadn't happened to me. i feel like that makes me a bad person or even a bad mother. everyone keeps telling me its only because i am so close and because i am ready for him to get here already but i dont know.
the BD called and wants all these things like the baby having his last name and him having joint custody and being there when the baby is born, etc. but i dont want to give him what he wants. i just dont think that i should give him everything that he wants when he didnt stay here and help me through all the hard times that i have had through all this.
i just feel so bad now. i really dont know why because i know that i shouldnt but i do. i dont know what to do. i am just being so emotional about everything. i was sitting in Kaleb's room and i just started to cry. i really dont even know why. it just all came out. i hope that this doesnt make me sound like a bad person for wishing that this hadnt happened. dont get me wrong i want my baby. i cant wait for him to get here. i am excited to see him. i am just scared!
I feel so bad.
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Tue, 2005-09-13 11:46
#1
I feel so bad.
I think it is really really normal to feel scared and anxious at 37 weeks. If you are not comfortable with BD at the birth don't let him be there. Do you have another birth partner or someone who will go with you? Try not to worry...take care you
I think it's all of it - emotions, hormones, fear ... this all mixed up. And to top of all that, it is your first child, so there's the fear of the unknown, too ... I think it's perfectly normal what you're going through, and I can give you no other comfort than that it will go away eventually. *hugs*
As for your boyfriend - hon, you are the boss here. You are the one having the baby, you get to decide. Do not do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable. It's your right. Much love and good vibes to you.
I think maybe the reality of it all is starting to sink in. You're actually going to be a mom and that's a really scary thing for first time moms (and 2nd time moms and 3rd time moms, etc). Hormones are wacky and emotions run strong while pregnant and it's really normal for you to cry out of the blue. I did it all the time when I was pregnant. But, you know what? I got through it and I know you can, too.
As for BD...You don't have to let him in the delivery room if you are not comfortable with that. It's your choice. But, I do think he has a right to see his kid, IMO. If not joint custody, then maybe supervised visitation? As for the last name, I'd give the baby your name because afterall, you'll be the one doing the majority of work if not all the work.
It's scary for you right now, but it will pass. And I'm always around to talk if you need a listening ear. Hope you feel better!
like the rest of the ladies already said your emotions are strong because your pregnant. So many thoughts are going to run through your mind. But your going to do the best for yourself and your son. Your going to be a great mom.
as for bd, do what you feel is right. if you dont want your son with bd last name then dont put it. if bd wants to change it he can afterwards. If he wants to see your son then it should be under your terms, your the one providing for your son. Try not to stress too much. Deal with everything on a day to day bases. You need to be as heathy as possible for you and your child. take care.
Your life is just changing... and its probably more than overwhelming, so your emotions are taking a toll from it. The best thing to do, is just to relax yourself the best way that you can...just sit down and have a lone time. Dont even think about the baby...just let your mind wander...if it has some stress free/worryfree time, it wont be soo overworked, and you wont feel soo bogged down.
As for your BD, its 100% your call whose in the delivery room. So if you say you want him out, they wont let him in there. I understand that he wants to see the birth of his child, but at that moment, what he wants really isnt a priority.....soo thats life for him, i guess. I dont know about joint custody right away....would that work?? Newborns need to be put into a scheduale, and if your sons moving from home to home, his scheduale will be messed up, and he wont be happy. Plus, are you breastfeeding?? How is that going to work?? I also think he has a right to see his son, but he also needs to respect what is best for the child, and in the beggininng your son needs you. I also think you should give the child your last name, if anything, for the legal reasons. It will just be soo much easier with your last name.....and you ARE going to be doing a lot of the work yourself....
You are a good person, and you will be (and already are) a good mother. And you know what? Sometimes, it's ok to cry til it hurts. It certainly doesn't lessen you as a person. If anything, it makes you stronger. Sit down, and if that's as far as you can get then that's fine. When you're ready to completely relax, that's good. Take everything at your pace. After all, you are the most important person. And soon, you'll be the centre of your son's world, so it'll be ok.
As for BD, I think it's great that he wants to be in his son's life, but maybe he's being a little insensitive about it. You are pregnant, there are raging hormones. Explain this all to him. I agree with everyone else, he doesn't have to be in the delivery room if you don't want him to. But when you feel comfortable as a mum, maybe he could come with you to take your son for a nice long walk once a week or something? I don't know, just a suggestion.
Other than that, just carry on being the great person you are xXx
Once you have that baby, your life as you've known it since you were a child will be completely different. EVERYTHING will change. A human being will depend on you for everything for years and years. You will be a role model, disciplinarian, teacher, comforter, confidant, and MOTHER for the rest of your life.
Sounds pretty effin scary to me for a first-timer if you ask me!
But you will be fine. Nothing to fear.
How are you doing? let us know. you're baby is due two days before mine.
happens alot hun
im doing ante natal classes (parenting classes ) and before this i was shitting myself i was scared, mainly because my body is umcomfortable etc my hormones and emotions are mixed.
Your not going to be a bad mother hun and feeling the way you do is NORMAL alot of first time moms and mums to be have the fear of OMG what have i done.
Leave your fear at the door babe , your body is telling you your almost there , every time your uncomfortable and have pain hun ride it , a pain and emotional burst of crying at nothing is a step closer to seeing your beautiful baby.
and if you dont want bd there at the birth DONT !!!! , although he does have rights to see his child too. This is something you both will have to sort out, and the last name too is totally your choice.
Good luck hun , you are ready dont be scared your a good mom and soon you will be much more then a mom to your beautiful baby.
need to vent or anything hun pm me (((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))
That didn't hit me until my water broke. At that moment it was like "Omygod I'm really about to have a baby, like today" It's terrifying. The only BD advice I can give is, no matter what is going on between you and him don't let it come between him and your son, as long as he is a good loving and providing father. If he sucks like my BD and is not a good influence or father figure for your child then don't let him take too much part. It's scary I know it's hard, but you'll be okay, we always are.