I have to vent this and whoever wants to give me advice I would really appreciate it.
Okay my boyfriend, my daughter, me, and my boyfriends sister (Ashley) and her baby miranda all got a place together. Since we live in a small town and she works for the company that runs it the house is in her name, BUT she can't pay all the bills by herself. She is only part time at a security gate, so her checks are probably only over a little 200. Logan my boyfriend and her brother, makes about 700-800 a week working for a contradator here. She always acts like she make it without us and that she has the power to kick us out which pisses me off so much. She was just now bitching at me that if logan doesn't start helping in cleaning up the house she's going to tell him to find another place to live. what the heck makes her think that she has that right. Yah the house may be in her name but she can't make it without us. It just makes me want to move out so I can just see her struggle. SHe is always talking shit too about logan and probaby about me to behind my back. She thinks she is so independent but she's not. What can I do to make this girl understand that. She is just so ungrateful!!!! Just look at it this way, are bills all together are probably close to 400 a month and she thinks she can do it without us. She doesn't seem to care how much she pisses us off. Please give me advice...PLEASE!!
what the heck!!!
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Thu, 2005-09-29 17:04
#1
what the heck!!!
I, personally, think everyone in the house should help with chores, regardless of how much they pay - because everyone makes a mess somehow.
BUT. To threaten to kick someone out, instead of sitting down and coming up with a rational solution is way out of line. I would have a conversation with her about that.. perhaps a house meeting to cover all the bases. However, if she still acts that way after trying to compromise, then I would find another place to live.
We don't use the word, "bitch" here, in any form. There's probably info about it in the announcements section. That word is typically used against women when in actuality, what is being complained about has nothing to do with one's gender (and it shouldn't, either). Thus it makes no sense to attack said person's gender because it's irrelevant and hurtful.
I don't understand why it pisses you off that his sister wants help. I think it is horrible that she should even have to ask. If each of you live there, each of you has a responsibility to keep the house in order - not only for the sake of yourselves, but also for the sake of the children living there. I think it is incredibly selfish to think that because you pay more you ought to be able to do less. What bothers me most though is that you want to see her suffer. Keep in mind that when she suffers, her child likely will, too - why hope for that?
Clearly there isn't enough communication in your house. It's not that surprising, living with a bunch of people is typically very hard. Given that we're all individuals, it's hard to get out of the mindset of considering only ourselves to realize that you are now a direct impact on the lives of many others. Just like any romantic relationship, a cohabitation relationship is one that takes a lot of work and requires a lot of balance.
Your last line stands out to me;
Because I'm willing to bet that she feels the exact same way.
In all honesty, I really sympathise with the sister. I think she's being used because everyone else thinks that she's the expendable one. If you can't stand her, at least act in the best interest of her child.
Like the above poster stated, you guys need to sit down and talk. And really, honesty seriously is the best policy.
okay obviously I wrote this in a way that you don't seem to understand. I NEVER SAID THAT SINCE WE MAKE MORE MONEY WE DON'T NEED TO HELP..I NEVER SAID THAT. She is family and I love her with all my heart so don't write as if I don't have any feelings for her. Its just a problem I asked advice on. The situation is that we all help in cleaning the house, my boyfriend who is her brother works 16 hrs a day and he is tired. I just felt that this was our house and I didn't think it was cool that she was saying that she was going to tell him to find another place to live if he didn't help out more. The guy comes home from work and wants to get rest for the next day. Ya know screw this, this site is so god damn up tight and so many stupid rules how can anybody really vent on here without gettiing in trouble with saying a cuss word. I would rather find somewhere to relate to girls. Thanks for nothing girlmom
oh my god, :roll: if you don't like it here leave,
You would rather find somewhere to relate, GREAT buh bye
god i wish people would read about us a little before they signed up, made a handful of posts and got pissed off.
I just think, you want to be pissed off, that is great, but the above posters did offer some GOOD ADVICE, about sitting down and rationally talking to you SIL, but from your next post, it's clear that maybe you can't do that,
I think I kind of understand the situation. It's too bad the place wasn't just put in both of your names. I live w/3 guys, BF, and two of his friends. I am on the lease and one of the friends and the friend acts like he owns the place. We all help with chores but he always acts like he is the only one who does. When he does clean he doesn't even do a good job he will say, oh, I cleaned the whole apartment today (in like an hour) and when I look around, he doesn't mop, dust, vauum... all he does is wipe off counters. What we are trying to do is every weekend we each have a cleaning job. Also, we're responsible for our own dishes and picking up anything we leave out. I guess you just need to communicate more.
She could kick you out and find someone else to rent the room from her.
If Logan and his brother make so much money, why don't you all pitch in to pay a house keeper?
It would cost you each maybe $20/wk or less and everyone would be happy and live ina clean place. How much your partner makes should have no baring on how much he does around the house.