I got pregnant when I was 13. The guy I was with at the time was 15, and there was NO WAY he would be able to father my baby. So, I did something incredibly stupid. I aborted my baby BY MYSELF. I found this stupid "herbal abortion" on-line and I did it. It was the most pain I have ever felt. I still believe abortion was the best choice for me then, but I wish I had done it in a different, more safe way.
Ever since then I have felt urges to become pregnant again. I guess I felt like I needed to make up for the one I had aborted. I never told the daddy what had happened, I never told my parents, or my friends. I was very alone with my thoughts, and I think that is another reason I have never really settled the issues in my mind.
I also never went to the Gyno. I was afraid that at my first visit they would find something caused by the abortion. I was afraid I had made myself infertile. Well, now, being pregnant, I know I didn't cause infertility, but the things that could've happened still scare me. It was weird having my first gyno appt. because I was pregnant.
I just wanna tell any woman who is thinking about aborting that there is nothing wrong with that choice if it is the best choice for you. If, however, you do do it, do it CORRECTLY! There are MANY things that can go wrong if you try and do it yourself.
I still feel guilty, though. Wish these thoughts would go away.