My personal opinion is that though you (general) may have reclaimed a word that it doesn't mean everyone has done so, so saying it or using it in a certain context can still trigger negative feelings for someone. I think also that if we allow it in some contexts that it gives more leeway for abuse (not really by members but trolls..).
I see what your say. but i disagree it would give trolls more leway because i think we've been pretty specific in the past about words like cunt & bitch not being used as insults because it's anti-woman. but i would try not to use them if it makes people uncomfortable who haven;t reclaimed them or don't feel comfortable reclaiming them.
About reclaiming words - I think reclaiming words is more about taking the power out of the word as an insult & giving it back to the people who were being insulted. making anti-woman word no longer an insult to woman by using them in a different context.
I don't like when people use words that are implied as a womans body part to describe something bad. I mean, I saw someone say "I felt like a tit"
GM wouldn't allow something like "I'm such a pussy" or "I'm a cunt". To me it is the same thing. Don't use a word that is used to describe a womans body part to describe something negative. I find it demeaning.
retarded....i hate that, i used to work with mentally handicapped adults, ones on many diffrent levels, and i cared about them very much. it like someone stabs a knife in me everytime i hear someone use that word..
I know that this thread is older, but since it's a sticky I thought I'd post two that really bother me:
crazy and nuts in specific contexts. Like when describing a person, or a way someone is acting.
As someone who has been called both of these things all to often by the people who I'm closest to, it really stings. Especially when my family still refers to when I was in the "crazy house" or "nut house".
It doesn't bother me if someone says something is "driving them crazy", because that talks about their own mental state, and at the moment that could be the best way to describe it.
I know this isn't listed and probably doesn't even come up that much on here the way some of these others do, but bastard is a word that really bothers me.
Wouldn't using the term nymphomaniac, when talking about your love for sex, or how you can't get enough be inappropriate as well? You know, considering the history behind it, and this is a feminist site. I havenât seen it used on here, but it just came to mindâ¦
I think that sort of line came up a while ago about people using the term sex addiction, or that they were addicted to sex, when really they just enjoyed it and actual sex addiction is a harsh addiction which affects people and their lives in such a strong way that it's not that great to invalidate that by using it so flippantly. (Same could go with using addiction to describe your love for anything, really.)
Nymphomania, though often used as flippantly, when it's actual nymphomania it is a disorder, much like others, that I agree shouldn't be casually thrown about out of respect for the people who actually have a disorder or addiction that impact their lives.
See, I was thinking that it should not be used at all. For one, nymphomania does not really exist, but a sex addiction does. I find it to be yet another thing that men created to opress women. This weekend, I caught about five minutes about this topic on TV before I feel asleep. I found it interesting, so I read about it the next morning. I was appalled by what I found.
IMO, the word Nymphomania reminds me very much of another N word. While the dictionaryâs definition may not be offensive, itâs origin & history is what makes it so powerful.
Queer should not be used either if you look it up it is . strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different; singular: a queer notion of justice.
2. of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady: Something queer about the language of the prospectus kept investors away.
3. not feeling physically right or well; giddy, faint, or qualmish: to feel queer.
4. mentally unbalanced or deranged.
5. Slang (disparaging and offensive). a. homosexual.
b. effeminate; unmanly.
I think queer is a fine word to use when talking about your own identity or to describe other people who identify as queer. Obviously it isn't okay to use it as an insult. But I don't think it fits under the "words that should not be used" category.
well if queer is used .. then bitch or bitchy should be too because I always call myself a bitch >> I am a bitch and I can be extemely bitchy and I dont feel that I should get in trouble if I call myself that.. I am a BITCH..
queer is a more positive way that the glbtq community uses ... i have many friends in that community & more of them identify themselves as queer, opposed to gay, lesbian, etc ...
bitch - we don't use on girl-mom. that's fine you use it, but please refrain from using it on girl-mom. it's anti-woman language
queer is totally negitive!! I am the treasure for my highschool GSA... I am all for equal rights, etc.. How is """of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady"", """mentally unbalanced or deranged""", """effeminate; unmanly""", 6. Slang. bad, worthless, or counterfeit. "" postive..... umm It isnt. I have so many glbtq friends it is unthinkable. I myself am BI.. I am not QUEER.. It is very offensive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
I am pretty sure that queer has been reclaimed by the glbt society, not just by individuals and thats how it differs from bitch, bitchy, bitching, bitched, etc. I realize that this can still be offensive to some people, but a lot of people also define their sexuality as queer, and I think that is why it isn't going to be banned at gm. You of course have the option of asking people to not use that if you find it offensive in individual cases.
yes, most friends that i know that are gay, lesbian, bi or trans call themselves queer. in fact, in minneapolis they have a flaming film festival (my friend is the director) and they use the world, "queer".
it has definately been reclaimed by the glbtq community. i honestly, could give you a TON of people that you could ask. they don't find it offensive anymore.
and honestly, this isn't something, i think that should be argured over & over
I identify as queer.
The wonderful thing about the word queer is its broadness.
I find the word lesbian doesn't describe the fluidness of my sexuality and bisexual isn't an actual reflection of my preferences.
I do not partner at all with males and haven't done since my teens.
I am in a longterm relationship, 8 yrs so far, with my wife. I am predominantly sexually and romantically attracted to women. However although it is rare I am occasionally attracted to males.
The word bi to me means I would place men and women on some kind of equal footing, when I could not imagine it possible for me to fall in love with a man.
I would say that most folks I know who identify in a non-heterosexual catergory describe themselves as queer, however its a trend not as common amongst older folks in the community.
Aleksander'sMum, when you said
Quote:
I have so many glbtq friends.
.
The Q in glbtq stands for queer.
The friendships you have with "many" queer folk doesn't alter the fact that in the end it is them that say whether the word is offensive or perfectly benign.
I'm surprised that with all the time you've spent in alliance groups and all the queer friends you've had that you would still feel the word is seen as a negative when it is not a perception held by the queer community.
I understand that the reclaiming of words by marginalised groups can be a confusing issue, especially for those outside of such groups.
A general rule is that it is the marginalised group alone that defines whether a word is acceptable or not or who can use that word.
When in doubt its best to ask. I'd rather ask an ignorant question than make arrogant presumption!
This can be complicated by whether some members of a marginalised community are comfortable with some words and others not, so rights of expression need to be balanced with others rights to be protected from the emotional impact of what they perceive to be hate language.
Its like here some women have reclaimed "bitch" but others haven't, so the general rule is for the word to not be used as a negative. After all using the word as a negative is not a sign that it has been adequately 'reclaimed' and stripped of its offensive history.
The make up of this community evolves as do the words which are considered acceptable or not. You only need to look at very old posts from the old boards through that portal to see how the community standards have changed.
However with the word queer there isn't any ambiguity about its appropriatness as it is seen as a description of sexual identity with no negative connotations on the scene.
I think for the most part only folks who see queer as an insult are folks who are homophobic and would use any word describing non-heterosexuality in a negative context.
For example, "that looks gay".
That doesn't make the word "gay" an insult cause homopobes don't get to define GLBTQ community standards!
Quote:
You of course have the option of asking people to not use that if you find it offensive in individual cases.
I would agree with this in certain cases, when the status of a word is more ambiguous but if anyone were to tell me I couldn't identify myself as queer I would be pretty livid and see it as a repressive action.
Its the only adequate description of my sexuality and to be told I couldn't say it would be like being told I couldn't say I'm from a Sephardic Jew background, have 3 kids, have a wife, etc.
I wouldn't dream of teeling my straight friends they can't say the word 'boyfriend' around me..
I identify as queer. Lesbian and Bisexual are not accurate, lesbian is to total and bisexual is to binary. I'm not only atracted to people who strongly identify with one gender. Q is sometimes used as questioning just as A is sometimes used for Ally or Asexual, but I think more frequently the q is queer. Maybe your highschool told your gsa ( which is often called qsa- queer straight alliance) that they couldn't use queer.
I would agree with this in certain cases, when the status of a word is more ambiguous but if anyone were to tell me I couldn't identify myself as queer I would be pretty livid and see it as a repressive action.
This was in reference to my quote. To clarify, I meant that if she saw queer used in a negative way, I'm sure we all know examples.
anything to do with "pro-life" blah, i hate that.
I see what your say. but i disagree it would give trolls more leway because i think we've been pretty specific in the past about words like cunt & bitch not being used as insults because it's anti-woman. but i would try not to use them if it makes people uncomfortable who haven;t reclaimed them or don't feel comfortable reclaiming them.
About reclaiming words - I think reclaiming words is more about taking the power out of the word as an insult & giving it back to the people who were being insulted. making anti-woman word no longer an insult to woman by using them in a different context.
Any ableist language.
I'm just wondering if this can be made a sticky so that we can cut down on further problems?
i agree with all these words, they are unappropriate and shouldnt be used for any reason.
the word freak bothers me.
I made this into a sticky!
what about when a new member joins with one of these words in thier username? how would that be handled?
I have wondered about this myself. It's a good question.
I don't like when people use words that are implied as a womans body part to describe something bad. I mean, I saw someone say "I felt like a tit"
GM wouldn't allow something like "I'm such a pussy" or "I'm a cunt". To me it is the same thing. Don't use a word that is used to describe a womans body part to describe something negative. I find it demeaning.
retarded....i hate that, i used to work with mentally handicapped adults, ones on many diffrent levels, and i cared about them very much. it like someone stabs a knife in me everytime i hear someone use that word..
I know that this thread is older, but since it's a sticky I thought I'd post two that really bother me:
crazy and nuts in specific contexts. Like when describing a person, or a way someone is acting.
As someone who has been called both of these things all to often by the people who I'm closest to, it really stings. Especially when my family still refers to when I was in the "crazy house" or "nut house".
It doesn't bother me if someone says something is "driving them crazy", because that talks about their own mental state, and at the moment that could be the best way to describe it.
I know this isn't listed and probably doesn't even come up that much on here the way some of these others do, but bastard is a word that really bothers me.
Wouldn't using the term nymphomaniac, when talking about your love for sex, or how you can't get enough be inappropriate as well? You know, considering the history behind it, and this is a feminist site. I havenât seen it used on here, but it just came to mindâ¦
I think that sort of line came up a while ago about people using the term sex addiction, or that they were addicted to sex, when really they just enjoyed it and actual sex addiction is a harsh addiction which affects people and their lives in such a strong way that it's not that great to invalidate that by using it so flippantly. (Same could go with using addiction to describe your love for anything, really.)
Nymphomania, though often used as flippantly, when it's actual nymphomania it is a disorder, much like others, that I agree shouldn't be casually thrown about out of respect for the people who actually have a disorder or addiction that impact their lives.
See, I was thinking that it should not be used at all. For one, nymphomania does not really exist, but a sex addiction does. I find it to be yet another thing that men created to opress women. This weekend, I caught about five minutes about this topic on TV before I feel asleep. I found it interesting, so I read about it the next morning. I was appalled by what I found.
IMO, the word Nymphomania reminds me very much of another N word. While the dictionaryâs definition may not be offensive, itâs origin & history is what makes it so powerful.
Queer should not be used either if you look it up it is . strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different; singular: a queer notion of justice.
2. of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady: Something queer about the language of the prospectus kept investors away.
3. not feeling physically right or well; giddy, faint, or qualmish: to feel queer.
4. mentally unbalanced or deranged.
5. Slang (disparaging and offensive). a. homosexual.
b. effeminate; unmanly.
6. Slang. bad, worthless, or counterfeit.
very judgemental and prejudes
I think queer is a fine word to use when talking about your own identity or to describe other people who identify as queer. Obviously it isn't okay to use it as an insult. But I don't think it fits under the "words that should not be used" category.
well if queer is used .. then bitch or bitchy should be too because I always call myself a bitch >> I am a bitch and I can be extemely bitchy and I dont feel that I should get in trouble if I call myself that.. I am a BITCH..
queer is a more positive way that the glbtq community uses ... i have many friends in that community & more of them identify themselves as queer, opposed to gay, lesbian, etc ...
bitch - we don't use on girl-mom. that's fine you use it, but please refrain from using it on girl-mom. it's anti-woman language
queer is totally negitive!! I am the treasure for my highschool GSA... I am all for equal rights, etc.. How is """of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady"", """mentally unbalanced or deranged""", """effeminate; unmanly""", 6. Slang. bad, worthless, or counterfeit. "" postive..... umm It isnt. I have so many glbtq friends it is unthinkable. I myself am BI.. I am not QUEER.. It is very offensive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
My brother is openly queer. He doesn't find that word offensive at all. A lot of people don't... But the F word... now that is a little different.
I am pretty sure that queer has been reclaimed by the glbt society, not just by individuals and thats how it differs from bitch, bitchy, bitching, bitched, etc. I realize that this can still be offensive to some people, but a lot of people also define their sexuality as queer, and I think that is why it isn't going to be banned at gm. You of course have the option of asking people to not use that if you find it offensive in individual cases.
yes, most friends that i know that are gay, lesbian, bi or trans call themselves queer. in fact, in minneapolis they have a flaming film festival (my friend is the director) and they use the world, "queer".
it has definately been reclaimed by the glbtq community. i honestly, could give you a TON of people that you could ask. they don't find it offensive anymore.
and honestly, this isn't something, i think that should be argured over & over
I identify as queer.
The wonderful thing about the word queer is its broadness.
I find the word lesbian doesn't describe the fluidness of my sexuality and bisexual isn't an actual reflection of my preferences.
I do not partner at all with males and haven't done since my teens.
I am in a longterm relationship, 8 yrs so far, with my wife. I am predominantly sexually and romantically attracted to women. However although it is rare I am occasionally attracted to males.
The word bi to me means I would place men and women on some kind of equal footing, when I could not imagine it possible for me to fall in love with a man.
I would say that most folks I know who identify in a non-heterosexual catergory describe themselves as queer, however its a trend not as common amongst older folks in the community.
Aleksander'sMum, when you said
.
The Q in glbtq stands for queer.
The friendships you have with "many" queer folk doesn't alter the fact that in the end it is them that say whether the word is offensive or perfectly benign.
I'm surprised that with all the time you've spent in alliance groups and all the queer friends you've had that you would still feel the word is seen as a negative when it is not a perception held by the queer community.
I understand that the reclaiming of words by marginalised groups can be a confusing issue, especially for those outside of such groups.
A general rule is that it is the marginalised group alone that defines whether a word is acceptable or not or who can use that word.
When in doubt its best to ask. I'd rather ask an ignorant question than make arrogant presumption!
This can be complicated by whether some members of a marginalised community are comfortable with some words and others not, so rights of expression need to be balanced with others rights to be protected from the emotional impact of what they perceive to be hate language.
Its like here some women have reclaimed "bitch" but others haven't, so the general rule is for the word to not be used as a negative. After all using the word as a negative is not a sign that it has been adequately 'reclaimed' and stripped of its offensive history.
The make up of this community evolves as do the words which are considered acceptable or not. You only need to look at very old posts from the old boards through that portal to see how the community standards have changed.
However with the word queer there isn't any ambiguity about its appropriatness as it is seen as a description of sexual identity with no negative connotations on the scene.
I think for the most part only folks who see queer as an insult are folks who are homophobic and would use any word describing non-heterosexuality in a negative context.
For example, "that looks gay".
That doesn't make the word "gay" an insult cause homopobes don't get to define GLBTQ community standards!
I would agree with this in certain cases, when the status of a word is more ambiguous but if anyone were to tell me I couldn't identify myself as queer I would be pretty livid and see it as a repressive action.
Its the only adequate description of my sexuality and to be told I couldn't say it would be like being told I couldn't say I'm from a Sephardic Jew background, have 3 kids, have a wife, etc.
I wouldn't dream of teeling my straight friends they can't say the word 'boyfriend' around me..
Q = questioning
I identify as queer. Lesbian and Bisexual are not accurate, lesbian is to total and bisexual is to binary. I'm not only atracted to people who strongly identify with one gender. Q is sometimes used as questioning just as A is sometimes used for Ally or Asexual, but I think more frequently the q is queer. Maybe your highschool told your gsa ( which is often called qsa- queer straight alliance) that they couldn't use queer.
This was in reference to my quote. To clarify, I meant that if she saw queer used in a negative way, I'm sure we all know examples.
I always thought the q in glbtq was queer too...
It does mean queer: http://www.glbtq.com/
Its both.. can go either way . just whatever you want to believe
http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/glbtq.htm
http://www.whitman.edu/glbtq/what.html
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