my son whom is now three. plays with his "monster" as he calles it. it stood up the other night and he kept poking and grabing at ot....is this him discovering his "monster"? my mom told me hes just discovering...but im not sure he seems to be doing it often

.. are you talking about his penis?
It's really important and beneficial to teach your son the proper words for his own anatomy.
Boys play with it a lot. My son loves (eek, painful looking) trying to stretch it. I figure if he doesn't hurt himself, and he learns not to just whip out and do it wherever, let them explore as much as they want.
just a question, if it weren't discovery, what do you think it would be? And would that be a bad thing?
I agree that you shouldn't worry about it. If you want you can tell him that it's something he can do in private, not public. I fell it's important to call his penis by the right name, monster makes it sound like something scary or violent. My son has nicknames for his penis but I always reinforce the actual name.
My son plays with his too, I make sure to call it his penis even though he calls it butt, I tried to teach him butt and penis but I guess butt is easier to say. Anyway, I don't think its a problem at all, they are just exploring their body. I actually was talking to my pediatrician about it and she said that its just like when they put their feet in their mouth, they are learning about their body.
Like Naivete said, it's very important to use correct (or at least positive) terms for his anatomy. Especially since monster is a common word for something else.
Next, there is absolutely nothing wrong with touching his penis, although I have taught my kids about privacy. I liken it to going to the bathroom, there's nothing wrong with it, but it's something you do privately.
Funny, just 5 minutes ago my five year old was watching TV by himself and came to tell me "Mommy, my penis is big". I asked him if he was playing with it and he said yea. I told him that he had to make sure if he was going to play with it, he had to do it in his room when he was by himself, or in the bathroom.
Zoe played with her vagina a lot when she was smaller (like, twoish), and still does a bit. We explaned to her, every time we saw her doing so in public, that it was something that we only did in the privacy of our room because it made other people uncomfortable.
Actually, she was sitting on her child care providers lap surrounded by a large group of our friends when Erin (the ccp) had to remind her about doing it in private. Erin said, "Because if I were to just start playing with MY vagina here, then it would make all my friends very uncomfortable!" And, immdiatly almost lost it because everyone looked at her oddly. As she said later (to me), "actually, they'd probably enjoy that!"
Just keep emphasising that it's ok to do, but when you're in private.
Oh, Matt's hands are always in his pants. I tell him it's something we do in private. My ex roommate kept trying to shame him telling him it made him dirty. God, I hated her. :lol: Didn't phase him though.
One time he was doing it, and I asked him "why do you have your hands in your pants again?" And he responds "I'm bored." LOL!
i thought i was ok becuz thats just what he calls it. so i will def reinforce the more appropriate word for it..i dont want him to think its a bad thing becuz its not. i just wasnt sure how to handle it thka girls it helped