hey... so i had my baby almost 3 weeks ago. I had no stitches or tears or any thing. I really want to have sex but when we try everything is so much tighter now so he cant fit in me. Like i can barely get my finger in. What should i do?? Im on birth control, i got the Depo-Provera shot so im ready to go. But im afraid that i will never be able to do it again because it stings. What should i do?!?!
xoxo, allie
They gave you depo and your nursing?
I hope not!!!!!
If you are having difficulty, I would speak to my dr, and just make sure that your bodies internal swelling is down.
Regardless, it will sting a bit!
ya..... i was told that depo was ok while nursing....
and should i just try it even if it stings since it will no matter what or what do you girls think?
Is the pain an outside pain, like a stretching of the skin, or is it internal?
Kind of both... like i can feel the outside streching,but it feels like there are bruises on the inside.
there's generally a lot of swelling, and it takes awhile to go down. Also, nursing and Depo both make you drier.
Depo should be fine while nursing -- it's a progesterone-only bc method and is actually approved by the AAP and Thomas Hale's Medications and Mother's Milk. Lunelle was a problem because of the estrogen, but Depo should be fine. It's the same as taking the minipill or using the Mirena IUD.
My kid is 5 months and it still hurts to have sex :shock: Didn't your doc tell you to wait at least six weeks for the sex thing? Mine did, ,but I had an episiotomy so I don't know..maybe thats why..
My midwives recommended 6 weeks also (along with most resources I've encountered), but I wasn't healed enough to have vaginal sex until about 9 weeks. I was also really anxious to be sexual, but I think this is a time when you should find alternatives to intercourse. Your body's healing is so much more important than intercourse. What if you use your hands to please each other? You can still be hot, you can still come, but really, as long as penetration feels uncomfortable, it's your body telling you to cool off and wait awhile longer.
The six week thing is actually an arbitrary myth. My midwives told me that some caregivers just like to have a sense of control, and my research bears that out. You can have sex when you feel you are ready. For me, that was two weeks postpartum. If it hurts, stop immediately. Make sure you use lots of lube.
I agree with emeraldfirefly. It took me and bd 3 months to have sex. I had 148 stitches, and a whack of internal damage.
Pain is your body's way of telling you things.
I'd stick to something other then actual intercourse, at least until you talk to a Dr, midwife, etc.
And lube is the key, but as long as you are NOT using condoms, or any other latex devices... which I'm assuming you most likely aren't! I totally recommend extra virgin olive oil!!! It doesn't dry up so fast, and you don't have the chemicals and actual salts to deal with.
actually you're supposed to use lube with condoms it just can't be a certain kind...
anyway i just wanted to mention that i too used depo and nursing, it did impede on my milk supply and it also led to a huge weight gain on my part. I hate depo and think it is evil, evil bad stuff.
CandyEyed, That is awful!
I've never used it. Like I've said on many a board, I avoid chemicals and artificial hormones whenever I can. I've been on Demulen for like a year. But that was years ago. I'm not a good candidate anyways because I have a family history of blood clots and cancer. My friend was on depo though, and so is her Mom and they both really like it because they don't have periods. I love my period and not having it would bother me, but that's just me.
ummm i was just wondering what you guys are talking about when you said you cant use lube with condoms??? ive never heard of that. My boyfriend and I are planning on having sex for the first time since I had the baby on valentines day....and we have to use a condom since I am not on birth control and I want to use lube. But I dont have any lubricated condoms so........yeah, what kind of lube can i use then?
I don't think anyone is saying don't use lube with condoms. I think yabinti was saying olive oil works great as lube as long as you are not using condoms because it would break the latex down.
Most!!!
KY Jelly for example. Just make sure it says that it's ok to use with latex on the box. Anything water-based is. My comment was because we aren't using condoms, we're in a stretching stage not an actual sex stage, so I'm using olive oil. By the time we got the lube on and can find a position that there isn't any pressure on my major tear, the lube was dry.
Sorry if I confused you!!!
yeah, olive oil would be great as a lubricant, but it's definately not latex safe.
the_lissa, I think a lot of providors say that because it's standard to have a 6 week postpartum check up, where they can ensure that you don't have any unforseen complications to you healing.
Personally, I think it's a good idea, since a lot of folks don't listen to their bodies. And surely, what your body tells you is far more important than any arbitrary date a doctor could provide.
I think we agree that it comes down to having sex when it feels good, when it doesn't cause you pain.
i think you can use water based but not oil based - it should give some clue in the condom box- either way its something to do with the base for the lube, one kind makes condoms better by reducing risk of tearing, the other eats the condom and increases risk of tearing.
Well, we will just have to agree to disagree.
Hi...Id wait a bit IMO..I had sex after only 2 and a half weeks and it was agony. I tried again at 6 weeks and it still stung..it took me about 2 and a half months to be able to do it with any kind of pleasure. But everyone is different. If you want it now, have it now, but i think it'll probably hurt.
It all depends. I had sex at two weeks postpartum, and it was some of the best sex in my life, and we had been fooling around since 1 week postpartum. I think the best advice is to immediately stop if it hurts. If it hurts, that is your body's way of telling you that you are not ready.
exactly!
It can also be your body's way of telling you something's up. I had an infection after delivery that made sex extremely painful.
I'm still sore, but most of the pain is external, stretching where the big tear is. But I also had internal bruising because the Dr. had to suction my daughters head back(she was face up) in order to get her to come through the pelvis. He said that it usually causes pelvic floor bruising in new wonderful ways that take a while to heal completely.
Needless to say sex is infrequent, because I get a paranoid feeling of pain as soon as BD kisses me!!!
I totally agree with the lissa. You just need to follow your own instincts. I know people who have felt great right away. They had sex just a few DAYS after giving birth. Now, I definietley didn't feel like that but that is not to say that everyone else feels like me. As far as lube goes, not only will lube make it gentler, but in general, especially if you are nursing, you won't have nearly the naturla secretions that you once did and so the lube will make it soooooo much better and more enjoyable. I personally am into trying to use lube that does not have petroleum in it which both KY and Asrtoglide do. Anyone her know about Sylk? That stuff is good!