Our daughter sleeps in our bed. I love it, but BD hates it. He thinks that it has ruined our intimacy. Which isn't true, because even if she was in her crib, we still wouldn't be having sex! And YES, I told him this! Did anyone else have these sorts of problems with BD? What did you do?
My BD thought the same thing, he was also a jerk in a hundred other ways. He now sleeps wherever someone will lend him a couch, Alexis sleeps with me.
When he was here we tried to get her to sleep in her adorable bed in her perfect room- usually by letting her fall asleep with us and transporting her. What happened then was I got bitchy as I was tired and so even if she wasn't there we weren't having sex because I didn't like him. Plus she ended up back in our bed anyway as she woke up and climbed back in. So in the end it was much like when she slept with us and we'd move her to do our thing, except there was less sex and more anger.
We try to move Aislynn, but she wakes up either while mvig, right after, or to eat a bit later. He doesn't get angry except that he wants her in her crib. I told him that she'll sleep alone when she's ready to self-sooth.
I think the real issue here is you not wanting to have sex, not the baby sleeping in the bed. I think maybe you should talk to BD about that and not let it become about the baby...
If you wanted to have sex be creative! You just don't have to have sex in a bed, think kitchen, couches, bathrooms, anywhere!!! Which can always help a stale sex life...
That's just it. I've talked to him, but he tries to make it about the baby....
Like...
If she was in her bed, you'd be in the mood....
Even if we wanted to, we couldn't.....
ETC ETC ETC!
He whines.
I'm more in the mood during the afternoon after I've maybe napped, or at least relaxed with a cup of tea! Not at 11pm! And it's not like we can even really have sex because it still hurts.... so likel, half way through I just want it over with.... and then he doesn't want to continue either. He doesn't want to have sex if we aren't both enjoying it.
Just a note to not use anti-women language on here.
My docter told me that the sex drive sometimes takes a year to come back(even longer for some). If your hormones aren't the way they used to be, then your sex drive probebly wont be either. I wouldn't rush the whole sex thing. She's only like 4 months old right? Theres no reason to think your sex life should be back like it used to be now, if ever. You will have sex again. You will enjoy it again. But when you are both ready. I'm luckey to get any once every 3 weeks, when it used to be daily. I'm sure it will become more frequent at some point.
If you are concerned that maybe you two are not having sex for other reasons. Maybe theres something that needs to be worked out in your relationship? I guess then you'd need to bring it up with him.
Why does it still hurt? That, I would probebly bring up with your docter.
My bd sleeps on the couch 90% of the time, I sleep in bed with baby. We have sex in the living room. I do miss the intimacy of sleeping together, but the truth is that we all sleep better this way.
It was his move, and at first I was really bummed, feeling like he was ditching us, like we would never have a natural time for caressing and cuddling to lead into desire, etc... But I'm used to it now, and when he does come to bed, I'm even disapointed sometimes...I like sleeping with him, but I sleep better without him.
I know your problems are different and that's not likely to help you, but you aren't alone in your bd being unenthused about co-sleeping.
Thanks Emeraldfirefly, That's what I was looking for.... Just the knowledge, that I'm not alone in the unenthusiasm!!!!
WHY? what's wrong?
Just wanted to let you guys know that my Babes is slepping in her PLAYPEN from 9pm, till about 3am..... when she then sleeps with us..... She really likes her Playpen. And BD and I are having she again, I'm finally healed, and back in the mood.
i feel ya with the whole sex drive thing. right now we live with his father and im like 16weeks pregnant(which doest really effect our sexx life) but what does effect our sex life is his father being around and i just know its going to get worse after we have the baby. plus i know plenty of women who are in your situation...its just a sex drive thing. concourns of waking the baby, being tired, not feeling well ect its not about the baby sleeping in your bed at all its just your not up to it.
the rpoblme i have now is my husband is super attraced to me. its like my bigger yet firmer stomache is a turnon and him even just rubbing it makes him hard...even the feel of the fine hairs that poped up on my tummy just turns him on...but my husband is a very understanding man. ive told him everything thats goin on in my body and he doesnt even ask for sex aymore...he just asks for intaamacy...
if your not up to being sexual try being intmate with him...fulfill his eeds without getting sexual. like kiss deeply and passonaly try oral sex or just a hand job. it doesnt take as long as sex and its not as messy to clean up. he may being feeling like hes not sexually attractive anymore or he may just need some attention from you and the only way to ge it is through sexual contact.
I am also 16 weeks pregnant, and it has somewhat affected my sex life. I am having an increase of discharge and feel like im gushing all the time. You might think my bf would like me being so wet, but its the opposite. I feel bad for him because when I am horny or we are messing around I am so wet its insane. He doesn't like fingering me or eating me out because of how wet I am. It is very messy. I feel like i am having my period sometimes thats how wet I can get. Really gushing sums it up. Sorry this is so gross. Also, When ever something that feels good happens my uterus or stomach or something hurts badly. So that kills it for me. Also it feels like he is hitting my cervix and sex hurts my stomach. I feel all crampy and my uterus hurts. Has anyone had any similar issues???