Regrets

I have a few regrets, but mostly I try to forget it. You can drive yourself crazy thinking about what if I did this, what if I didn't do that. It is really hard to do but it is really pointless because you can never go back in time to redo things. Once they are done they are done, kwim? Thats what I try to tell myself, because I have other things to stress about too so I try to move on from my regret.

"forget regret, or life is yours to miss" <---------- a quote from RENT.

I agree with Skylar, that you can't go back and change things anyway!

I can honestly say that I don't have any regrets. I know that you don't get any "redos" in life, and if something turns out poorly, I just try to make the next day/week/etc. better. :)

Also, I am very happy with my life, and I don't think that's because my life is just so splendid, but because of my mindset. If you sit around all day thinking of the bad things that could happen or have happened, of course you're going to feel sad or down about things. You only get this one try at life and we might as well attempt to be happy and change things for the better, right?

Do I sometimes think about the "what ifs"? Sure, though this doesn't mean I regret making certain choices, and I also realize some of the really great things that have happened in my life may not have happened if I went back and made another decision. For example, I'm a surrogate mom (pregnant with twins right now)...if I had gotten pregnant the first time we attempted IVF, I would likely have never met the guy I've been dating for the last 4 months. I was pretty upset about the IVF not working the first time, but I didn't know that would play a direct part in me meeting this awesome guy a few months later.

There are things that I can look back on and part of me wishes I had done another way. Mostly in circumstances where I have needlessly hurt someone else.
But, I love the way my life is now, and when I begin to really regret things, I think about how I wouldn't be where I am right now if I hadn't made the choices I made. I think that while it's totally important to look back on situations and learn from them (how you'll handle similar situations in the future, or how you'll handle someone acting the way you did), dwelling on them is pointless.

I don't necessarily have any regrets. Sure, I'll be upset of something awful that happened in the past, but you can also learn from that. And like Skylar & Erika said, you can't these things...

Of course, I'll have days where I'll get sad about things and feel like crying or just laying around, but I do think of all the good things I have in my life, too. And what Kat said, dwelling on them IS pointless... and can make you feel worse about the situation.

I don't regret much. I know that everyone has to make their mistakes in life, and that's what makes them the person that they are.

I do have one big regret, though. Two and a half years ago I was at a major crossroad, where I had a chance to live the life that I really wanted, but I got scared. I was a single mom with two kids, I moved to a new city and had a plan to start a home business that would support my family. I wanted to open up a home daycare, that way I could make enough money, but still have my kids around me all day.

Instead, almost as soon as I moved, I had my male friend move in. With him there, I couldn't open the daycare (he had a record). Instead of using the chance to become more independant from my parents, I became dependant on him. We got married within a few months, and the rest is history.

It's not that I regret marrying him, just that I should have waited A LONG time to even go out with him, let alone allow him to move in. I feel like I gave up my only chance to find myself and to live my life the way I want.

It's not something that I can go back and change, the opportunity to start a daycare is no longer there, the debt free girl just setting off on her own is now running from creditors and too far away from home to go back.

Every day I think back and wonder "what if". If I wasn't so afraid to fail, I would have tried. Maybe, my family would be in a place where we were settled and not moving around so much, and where we weren't constantly struggling to pay the bills. I don't know, maybe it would have turned out totally different than that, but I never gave myself the chance and I'm afraid that I'll never have the chance again.

"What's your mindset about regrets? Do you live with no regrets? Do you have regrets? Have you found your fool-proof way to live a regret-free life? "

Man, regret and guilt are my least favorite emotions. I even feel them physically. Ugh.

I can be prone to staring backwards and idealizing an alternate course, so when i am feeling regret, i have to sit and have a conversation with myself. I have to ask "What does this mean? Why do I regret this? What am I learning from this feeling? What would I be missing if I'd gone another way? Do I really regret that, or am I just unhappy with current circumstances?" and a few others.
I have to talk myself out of not feeling that way by turning the feeling of regret into a learning experience, as well as telling myself to basically snap out of it, that beating myself up isn't productive to me.

You are getting close to delivery, yes? that was SUCH a contemplative, introspective time for me...intensely so. As our lives are about to be changed by having our children, we are in some ways sitting at a crossroads waiting for our dued dates, and I think we really start looking backwards and taking stock of our lives and where we've been. It's a difficult thing, but I know for me it was a good thing to have gone through, even if it was hard at the time. I found that the pressure and intensity were lessened when I had my baby and had this tangible, physical future, so to speak.

i do have regrets. i have alot of " what if's?" mainly my regrets on not the choices i make but the outcome and how it effected others.

like my pregnancy, while i dont regret the whole thing but i do regret how my family took the news and how big the rift has gotten between my parents and me. of course these things are absolutely out of my control because they were not my choices to make however i still feel really sad about them and wish i could change them.

i do often think about where my life would be if i didnt make certain choices. i often think of that movie " butterfly effect" where each choice sets off a chain of events.

you live and you learn.

...
I'm not going to lie and say, "Oh, I don't regret the things I've done..."

Becaue I do. I regret having sex. I wasn't ready, emotionally or physically. And I regret getting married at 16. Yes, I'm happy now, but it took a year and a half to get to where we are at. I regret transfering schools. And I regret not getting to say good-bye to a lot of people that have past away in the past couple years (Jeff, Renee, my grandma, and my aunt.) I regret a lot of things. But I know that I can't go back in time and change them. But if I could, I would in a heartbeat.

I have alot of regrets. I just try to think that everything happens for a reason.

The way i see it is you cant go back and change what is done.. and if things happen they happen for a reason, but mainly in my opinion.. id rather regret something ive done than something i didnt do.

Very good point, Elli. I feel the same way. Even though I don't regret things, I'd rather regret something I did than something I didn't do (and wonder "what if").

I regret some of the stupid, irresponsible things I've done... but all in all, those actions made me who I am today. I do, however, take a leap - consequences in all - at the risk of regretting it... but you only live once, right? You'll never know, unless you do it.