Mike (BD) and I have been split up for over a year now (actually creeping up on a year and a half). While we haven't signed anything to make it offical yet its definatly over.
He has visitiation on the weekends. But he works and more often then not its his stepdad or mother taking care of xander and not Mike (he has gotten better about this but not much). It pisses me off but not much I can do. His mother and I get along really good. She babysits whenever I need and never asks questions. But I feel like shes doing too much. She lets Mike get away with a lot (ie sleeping when he should be up with Xander or Xander sleeping with his mother and not with him since we cosleep). She says she doesn't mind but it bothers me so much. When I bring it up on either end it ends up in a big ass arguement and so lately I have tried not to bring it up.
How can I deal? How can I set bounaries with out offending her? He also gets mad. So how can I make sure he understands he needs to be a parent not just when its convinent? I'm really at a loss here and the somewhat cordial relationship Mike and I is going down the drain.
Also, we went to court back in October for CS. The night before Mike called me and told me he was going to take full custody of Xander so he wouldn't have to pay CS because he was too poor to pay for it. He said he was just barely making due. Being overstressed and just well me I flipped and told him we could go for less CS and talk about custody later. I agreed on $226 less in CS to make sure I could keep Xander. I got the letter back from the courts and its like $200 higher then what we had agreed on. I was going to write a letter to have them modify it but... I checked Mike's bank account since its our joint account and it shows how much money hes been spending on going out to eat and other BS things. So I still haven't wrote the letter. To be honest I don't want too. I still haven't gotten a check (make that three months without CS) and I haven't told Mike I haven't written the letter. Can I just not write it? What should I do?