I mentioned this is the "How Do Grown-Ups Makes Friends" thread, I think I have a social anxiety (or maybe general anxiety) disorder. I can't take being around people/talking to people (unless I know them really well, like my partner or mom). My heart starts pounding, my hearing goes weird, my hands start shaking and sweating, my head starts spinning and I can't think staight, let alone talk.
I'd like to hear from any mamas who have a similar problem. How do you cope? Do you take medication? What kind? Do you find it helps? If you're not comfortable posting here you can PM me.
I'm kind of leery about going on medication (for a few reasons, which may not make any sense to anyone but me), but I think it may be nessesary. My anxiety makes it hard for me to live a "normal" life. I feel like I'm going to be dead of a heart attck by 30 or something. :(
Im somehwat like that.
All I do is stay home, when I do go out ..... it takes awhile to adjust. almost a culture shock for me.
Just take it slow. sometime sif its serious and you don't know...you may have a panic attack. and those are no fun.
(taking it slow, i mean go for walks, maybe parent groups, hang out with a small group of close friends)
THe more you go out for an hour or so, the easier (IMO) it becomes to be a socialbutterfly :lol:
As a rule, if your social anxiety is interfering with your ability to lead a "normal" life, then it's probably advisable to see a doctor and perhaps get some medication. I've been taking Zoloft for several years, and it's helped me quite a bit. No more panic attacks, and no bad side effects.
Good luck to you!!
Hehheh, I put normal in quotation marks because to me this *is* normal, I've been like this for as long as I can remember. Other people would probabley find it pretty abnormal. It's kind of hard for me to explain, I just wonder if I *should* being doing something about it. I would *like* to be able to talk to people and not be anxious all the time, but the idea of being on medication for the rest of my life kind of freaks me out. I mean, I function, I take my kid to playgroups, I go to school, ect., but I just feel anxious the whole time and it's really difficult to talk to people. I can totally relate to the feeling of "culture shock", that's a really good way of putting it. I don't know, I'm really torn about this. Thanks so much for the input, mamas, it really helps to know how mamas cope.
I'm a people-hater. I have a very hard time making friends and keeping acquaintances and it's 100% my fault.
I have a hard time with public places (like the mall, I never went even as a teenager) and I even had to drop out of the mama gathering last year because the idea of being around others creeped me out. I do not hug or enjoy being touched.
I would suggest not taking medication unless you really can't function.
I definitely have social anxiety disorder.
I really want to be able to talk to people, and make friends, but whenever I try my heart races and I start panicking thinking that they're thinking awful thoughts about me or laughing in their head at me, whenever I hear anyone whispering it happens again I start knowing they're talking about me, and everyone hates me and they think I'm a complete idiot. I start getting sweaty and my heart speeds up way too much and I can barely think of what to say that won't make me sound too stupid.
How do I deal with it? I don't. I force myself to act, I'm a great actress, that I'm funny and popular and whatnot, and people just seem to believe it. I still walk away with my heart racing going "stupid, stupid, stupid" in my head, but at least no one catches on.
I take zoloft.... I doesnt help as much as i thought it would. I had to get a little more aquianted with myself before i could start getting out more. I guess medication isnt always the best thing when they tried to take me off paxil i like freaked out big time. Not pretty! I recommend exerciseing other therapies before medication.
I used to take medication for social anxiety disorder but I went to councelling and worked it out so now I don't need to but I was on Paxil and it deffinately helped me overcome my fear of social situations so slowly they decreased my dose and finally I was off it! I've never been on any other medications I've known people who've taken Zoloft and one of the girls actually just stopped taking it it didnt help her she felt better without it.
You're so not alone.
I've been dealing w/ anxiety for a couple years. I would get extremely nervous around people. Hell I would even get nervous sitting at home having a conversation w/ just my husband b/c he was focusing on me. That's when mine got the worst...when people were focusing attention on me. I would get extremely tense and my neck would almost lock, i would shake, my vision would get kind of blurry, my heart would pound. It sucked. I stayed away from as many social outings as possible. I even had to sit in the car one day while my in-laws and husband were grocery shopping b/c i was too nervous to go in the store.
I've been on Lexapro for depression and anxiety for a little over a month. It has helped a lot, but i'm not totally better...i'm going to have him up the dose for me when i go thursday.
But my doctor told me that he's going to keep me on it for 1 year, then try to take me off of it to see if i'm cured. He said he doesn't want to take me off of it too soon, but he doesn't want to keep me on for longer than necessary. I haven't had any side effects except for loss of apetite...but that's not a bad thing!
I'd say if it is holding you back (like it was me) then don't be afraid to get a little help. PM me if you want.
I don't take meds but I definitely have social anxiety disorder. The only way I know how to cope with it is by keeping to myself, not making eye contact, and avoiding stores or other places when I know they'll be crowded. I actually made my mom go into the store to pick up my prescription the other day because the first time I was in there it seemed like everyone was looking at me and judging me. What I wouldn't give to have some Zoloft.
i think I have it too.
For me, I think it started cause I had really low self esteem. For a while, and sometimes, but not as often, I would blush and shake and get real nervous when taking to people.
i think though, I'm getting more confident. I am starting to feel more proud and successful, so i feel less scared that people are negatively judging me. Last semester, I gave two successful (this means not blushing and shaking) presentations in school. I practiced alot and they went well. This did wonders for my problem. This means that I don't shake and blush as much. I think I definitely could have/ should have been on meds before, but I think I'm getting alot better. On the other hand, I'm still pretty akward in social situations, and horrible and making conversations with people I don't know well. i'm really shy. But maybe this is just a part of my personality that shouldn't be messed with?
I have it too, although it has been getting better for me in the last few years, mainly because I have a really supportive partner who has been slowly pushing me to break out of my 'shell'. He understands that I often have trouble just dealing with people in the most rudimentary ways (e.g. ordering food at a restaurant or over the counter in a supermarket) so he usually does that for me, however, every now and then he insists that *I* do that for myself and it's slowly got to a point where if I really, really have to I can suck it up and just do it (whereas before I'd do without, rather than have to deal with the trauma).
The other thing that helped me was taking up tutoring. I fucking hated it with a passion because I was way too anxious to do it properly and used to basically make myself sick over it each and every time. To be honest, I wasn't very good at it because my anxiety always manifests itself as 'cold, hostile and aggressive' (not smiling etc) and I got a few complaints from people about it, but I honestly tried my best. I did it for 2 years until I couldn't take it anymore (I needed the money so badly, which was also a great motivator) and it helped when I told the class straight up that I was anxious and whilst I seemed distant, I really did care, I was just having trouble dealing with it. A few negative comments for it, but most people were accepting.
I really think it's a matter of recognising your problem and working on it slowly. All of my friends know that i am by nature shy and they understand. My bf has told all his friends that this is how I am and that if I don't talk it's not because I'm 'rude' or 'disinterested', it's just I'm having trouble interacting and they understand and go out of their way to help me fit in.
The one thing I know about myself is that I have a hard time looking people in the eye (even with friends and family). I find it really intimidating and I've been noticing how often my eyes flick away and I've been trying to force myself to stop doing this (by starting with practicing on my friends). My BF also wants me to work on smiling more too, saying that you'll get further in life if you're 'friendly' to others, and I'm trying to do that in small doses, but that's really hard for me.
Good luck to everyone though. Just little steps each day.
I think I'm just going to continue trying to work through it on my own. I just have personal issues with taking medication for this. I was diagnosed with at least five different mental illnesses as a teenager and doped out of my head on more types of pychiatric medications than I can count for 5 years until I moved away from home and went off everything. That experiance has just really put me off the idea of pychaitric medications *for myself*. I know it might not make a whole lot of sense, it's just the way I feel. I know medication can work, and lots of people really need it (and do well on it), and it's tempting to me to just try it. But, I'm in a fairley good space right now, my partner is super supportive and understanding, and I when I think about it I *have* made progress, it's still hard as hell though. :wink: Thanks for all your replies, mamas, they were really helpful.