Me and my b/f have been dating for almosts a year and both our kids have been involved since the get go. I have had a VERY hard time connecting to my b/f's son. His little boy and my little girl are the same age. I find myself being more harsh on him than on my daughter. Sometimes I absolutely cannot stand him. Is this a normal feeling? I've tried so hard to try to connect emotionally with him, but I'm just not having any progress. I've tried spending time with him alone, with him and my little girl, all of us together, but it's just not working for me. My b/f and I have discussed getting married, but I don't want to get married and then me still have emotional connects with my step-son. I want to love him equal to my daughter and not treat him any different that I do her, but its not workin. Any suggestions on what I can try to help us get closer?
God, I don't know. I have a step daughter, and at times bonding has been a struggle, other times it has been great. She's 5 years older than my babe though, so it's a little different. I have no idea how I'll react to my son when he's her age. I do think that I'm too hard on her sometimes, and I do try to work on it. It's rough.
The best thing that I've found is to try to act the way I'd like to feel. I act as though she's the best thing in the world, even when I don't feel it. What I find is that this often leads her to react in a way that really does bring out a lot of love in me. Likem she gets the good vibes from me, which makes her way more affectionate and lovey, which makes me feel good and able to honestly reciprocate.