during my first pregnancy i managed to feel in control at least most of the time. now that i am two months into my second pregnancy and taking care of my nine month old i feel like im always ready to either fall asleep or burst into tears. im not saying that i dont love taking care of my daughter...i love being a mom, i feel comfortable doing it. but the added physical stress of being pregnant, plus the fact that i am all of the sudden incredibly over emotional is making me feel inadequete. when im with my daughter i am able to keep up my energy and a good attitude, but once she falls asleep i crash and get snappy at everybody. i hate the way i am acting. its not me at all!! i am so looking forward to having another child, but im so worried about the next seven months. has anyone else had there children so close together, or even further apart and felt the same way?? i feel like im the only one because all the women i know say that there second pregnancy was just fine, even while raising another kid. are things going to get better or worse!?
I didn't have another child at the time, but I went through such intense depression during my pregnancy that it was unbearable. They have been doing some more studies on pre-partum depression. Have you thought about going to a therapist?
I can relate. I've been pregnant twice since having my son...this time I am almost 10 weeks pregnant with twins (I'm a surrogate mother) and am seriously so tired all the time that I feel like I can't parent as well as I could otherwise. My son is almost 3 years old and can occupy himself a lot of the time and is a great kid, but the fatigue is a serious problem for me. By his bed time, I am also ready for bed and it can be a struggle to make it through the last few hours of the day.
All I can say is that I hope you are able to get the rest you need. I know it is really hard some days when you don't feel well, but there isn't a whole lot that can be done about it (how's that for being positive?). Usually when I realize that I'm acting crabby, I can change it immediately because I know it's due to the pregnancy and not anything else! I think my mentality has a lot to do with it.
My kids are 20 months. I was pregnant during most of my daughter's second year. I don't recall having the problems you do, but it might just be a difference in our lives.
Do you work? Go to school? Is anyone else helping you with household chores? Are you experiencing stress from a bad relationship?
You might start feeling better in your second trimester. I know I did. Apperiently, I was difficult to be around in the beginning. The first trimester was my worst for exactly those reasons. But it got better. Everyone is different, so I hope you too will feel better soon.
thanks for your responses and support. i keep hoping that once the first trimester is over maybe i will start to feel better. im crossing my fingers. i am in school full time, all night classes though because we cant afford childcare due to a very high cost of living, being over the income limit and two student loans (me and my husband). the only stressful relationship i have is with my dad... i live with him because he is disabled due to a heart condition and my parents recently got divorced...so im essentially taking of him as well. i unfortunately dont have help around the house other than the few things that my dad can do, and that varies day to day depending on how his health isthings with my husband are good in general. luckily i will be done with school this semester and have a degree in nursing, so that stress will be taken off soon enough.
another thing...katg mentioned seeing a therapist. ive seriously thought about it, but i dont want other people to think, or even me to think that im not able to handle being a mother, because thats not it at all. im sure you all know the feeling of just needing someone to talk to who is on the outside. i guess for some reason im embarrassed about something thats not even my fault. plus...does health insurance even cover therapy?
Many health insurances will cover therapy. If you have your health insurance book of providers it should have a chapter on mental health resources, or there will be docors that say "mental health" under what they cover.
I can tell you, as a mama who goes to a therapist every week, I was afraid that I would be judged for not being able to do it, or some such, but the therapist will know that it's not about that. They generally have talked to many women who have gone through similar things, as I think this is something that happens to many women.