OK I had the worst xmas ever. I was going to try working things out with J being xmas and all.. until I found a drug scale in my car that he took out all day doing xmas shopping. I stomped on the damn thing and then this girl calls saying I better pay her for it. the girl is someone he has been staying with who this whole time supposedly had a boyfriend "Mike" living there and it turns out there IS no Mike, and she's been dealing drugs to J this whole time he was supposed to be straightening out.
OK so anyways thats how our fight started. I told him to get out and I didnt even want to look at him. So he went over to another apartment , stole MY cell phone, to call the girl. so he comes back and I had the door locked so he pounds on it a while, buzzes the apt. for 5 min. straight, tries the windows.. I left one unlocked accidenta;y and he got in. so I tell him Ill call the cops if he doesnt get out. he rips the phone outta the wall and keeps blocking the door, pushing me, ect. I shouldnt have done this but I was so mad I ran my mouth, saying he's a shitty father and he started holding me down with his hands on my neck (not that hard, I think he was trying to scare me) he almost punched me full in the face but hit the floor next to me at the last moment. he even put a cruch on the door handle to keep me from leaving. then the baby started crying in the other room but I didnt wanna go in where the baby was with him acting like that , in case he threw something at me and hit her accidentally.
So I begged him to leave, crying, but he wouldnt get outta my face so I picked up a knife and held it up to him and he just laughed so i put it down., ran back to the door, the phone, nothing worked. when he was holding me down I tried biting his arm but he didnt seem to even feel it. the baby was really crying and i had to get out so I finnally grabbed a ceramice candle thing and hit him on the head with and and it bought me enough time to get the door unlocked and run out. he caught up with me in the parking lot and tried tograb me and pull me back, and shovedme into a snow bank. then a car came in so he started acting all nomal so I ran down the st to a pay phone and called the cops. I told them everything and to go to my apt. first and make sure the baby was ok (i figured j would take off and leave her) so when the cop comes and picks me up he was being a jerk to me before he even talked to either of us, he was all pissed he got called in on xmas. so they talk to me and j andasking me tiny little details i couldnt remember. I was in shock. so they arrested us both . i got charged with simple assaultI think he did too even though he admitted to keepingme fromcalling the cops and i know thats a crime. so we have a court date now.. what if they find me guilty? well my questions are
1. can i find out if he was charged with keeping me from calling (whats that called anyways?)?
2. if he wasnt can I put those charges on him now?
oh also, I was telling the co[ps about how hes assaulted me before, even showed him a big bruise on my arm but he said its not relevent sinceit wasnt the same night. he wouldnt even let me go get examined and pressured me into signing the refusal for it, even though the medicle guy felt my head quick and felt a bump from my head hitting the floor. so the next day i went to my own doc and got checked out and she documented my bruise and a big cut on my leg from like a week before... so was I wrong do do what i did to get out? I read all the time in magazines and stuff tips on self defense for if your getting mugged or something.. but whats the piont if im being charged with assualy now? the baby was screaming and i knew at that point id do anything to get help. any advice for me? shhould i go get a lawyer now? court's in a month.. but I really dont wanna hear anything about me being stupid for putting up with the prior abuse I already know..
I think that what you need to do right now is call a lawyer. You need to find out what you rights are in this situation, and what his rights are and what you can do.
Do you have a restraining order on him? I would definitly get one as well.
we both have bail conditions that state thats basically restraining orders, can go near ect other, contact each other, ect. but he called my mom and said he wanted her to give him a ride ( :roll: ) to see a judge and get his removed so he could see the baby and get his stuff from here. But he couldnt just get his removed without me knowing. Im sure they would have to have me there as well to do that..
something similar like that happened to my friend, her bf called the cops and she got arrested. I would definitely get a lawyer. Its going to be your word against his pretty much, but since you called the cops that is good.
I do not think you are stupid for staying with him even though there was abuse. I did the same thing. Its hard to leave. I hope you can find the strength to leave now. Don't let him see you or the baby ok? Let me know if you ever want to talk
That happened to me, and I was in jail for 6 days.
It ended up being the best thing that every happened to me because it pushed me to leave a bad relationship.
Plead NOT GUILTY even if you know you did it. Pleading guilty waives a trial. Some people do this to lessen jail time but then you can't get out of your sentence.
I plea baragained and was convicted of DISTURBING THE PEACE. This is a misdemeanor charge. I was on informal probation for 2 years and because i didn't get in a any trouble during probation, I was able tog et my record expunged, which means now, 3 years later, I have no criminal record.
If he was arrested to, that means charges WERE pressed against him. Your best bet is to not get vindictive and start playing games. Just worry about yourself, getting out of trouble, and getting out of the relationship.
First of all I'm sorry your X-mas sucked so bad. That's crappy. I hope you're okay now and the baby's okay.
Unfortunatly a lot of states have laws now that require both parties involved in domestic violence incidents to be arrested automatically.
I saw under your name that you're from New Hampshire. I googled this place:
The New Hampshire Coalition against Domestic Violence
http://www.nhcadsv.org/index.cfm
You might try calling them. The coalition in my old state had people who could offer legal advice for free. If they say they can't help you ask them for a referral to some place that can. Holidays are really busy days for crisis centers so if they seem like they're putting you off, keep calling back and asking to talk to different people. Sometimes you have to be persistent with those people even though they're there to help. They get overwhelmed too.
good luck. take care of yourself.