I am 18 years old and a proud mom to a beautiful 10 month old baby girl Kyla. I was with the father for over 2 years and right before Christmas he broke up with me. I was devistated. He proved what kind of father he was when he swore on kis daughters life and was lying. I went to his house to set up visitation with him and the baby and he wanted nothing to do with it. His mom was the one who set everything up thinking she was in control. After I left his house I realized that the right thing for me to do for the baby was go to child support and have them set it up. I have done all that but now I am starting to have feelings for another guy and its only been 2 weeks since me and my babys dad broke up. I dont know if I am being a bad parent since I am already moving on, I mean the father moved on (he was talking to some other girl while we were together thats why we are not together) The guy I like also has a baby and I just am not sure if it is the right thing to do. Move on this early when I have a baby involved. And am I doing the right thing by cutting my ex's mom out from interferring with the baby. She thinks she has control and that she can come here whenever she wants to get the baby and I told her that she is not allowed to see her unless the baby is with her dad and at her house.
You really have to do what you feel is best. As for the new guy, there is nothing wrong with you having feelings so soon after the relationship ended with BD. It might be a good idea to see him without your little one for a while, and only introduce them once you feel that the relationship is going to last. I dated quite a bit when my son was young and he became really close with some of my "friends". So much so that when I broke up with one of them, he still had a good relationship with my son. It was nice for him to have that male role model. But, it was hard for him to take when I moved in with my husband. I guess he figured this guy wouldn't be here very long, and it really got to him when Mark started disciplining him, because he'd never had that type of relationship with one of my boyfriends before. So, who you date and when is your business, and it's up to you how much you expose your daughter to your new man.
As for your ex's mom interfering, I think you are doing the right thing. She needs to know that you are in charge and have final say in what happens. But, you are still leaving her with a way to see her granddaughter on your terms. Although, in some places a grandparent can go to court to get visitation seperate from the father, especially if the father chooses not to be in the child's life.
i've actually been in the same situation with the ex's mom. she still thinks that. i think you did the right thing by telling her how you feel. you are the mom! no one else really has any say over what happens with your child except you, right... good luck with it all. my daughter's dad is quite the deadbeat too.. just keep in mind that you have final say in what happens and who sees your baby!
It isn't right for BD's Mom to act like she's in charge but if she is just trying to still see the baby even though BD isn't interested maybe you could work that out if she respected you more. Maybe you could tell her that she has to understand things will be on your terms not hers and go from there.
I have family friend's whose son is a BD who completely took off and pays no attention to his daughter but BD's parents have the daughter over every couple of weeks or so, with the Mother's permission and they really adore the little girl, treat her very well, and give the Mother a little time to herself.
Matt's met a few of my "friends." And he didn't get close to a single one of them. Doesn't even remember them.
I was worried at first that he'd be "confused" but it was always clear that this person is, basically, nobody to him. It's not his dad, he's not taking a parental role. I don't know, maybe that'll screw him up again later if the person I'm with actually IS somebody to me, but I plan to never push the "daddy" thing and let their relationship be whatever it is.
You definitely need to tell your MIL how it is. My family (as we have no contact with SD's family) has a bad habit of overstepping boundaries and need pretty much constant reminders not to talk over me or discipline him when I'm there. That's my job.
went through almost the same thing. my bd didnt want anyhting to do with me or my son but his mom wanted to take control of everything demanding me to come visit with bret. i cut her off since her son wants nothing to do with brett and me. but what you do is best for you, and your baby. me i moved on right away i got back to school and started dating again
With my 2 year old son, his father and Grandmother are very much a part of his life and his doings. I admit I'm kind of still dependent on things and I admit I do need help with him. They are very understanding about things and I"m very thankful. My son is very close to his dad and even though we don't see eye to eye on things..he is a very good one also. But when things get ugly with us then i CHOOOSE to go through his grandma, cause I know he still wants his son all the time but I choose not to communicate with him just his mom. I don't know I guess it just depends on the relationship with you two...and in your case if the father doesn't want anything to do with the child then hell with it..and chop the grandma off too if she's going to take the child around him. That's how I would feel..his loss and his families.
i met my dh 8 days after bd and I broke up. we took things slow, both dated other people in the begining when it was clear that it was a serious thing to both of us, he met my dd, and we hung out together. it is a totally doable thing.
also i had a lot of guy friends that showered both of us with attention, she didn't know the difference in a (guy friend) and w (dh) at first...
If you are putting your child first and her needs are met then you have a right to be happy. There is no law saying how soon is too soon.