My son is 3, and he hasn't been around other kids much. I've never joined a playgroup, and so his interactions with other kids his age have been limited to playgrounds and occasionally seeing the kids of acquaintances and my cousin's kids. (Occasionally=once every couple of months) He does pretty well with adults, but he just has no idea how to act around other kids. He's starting preschool this fall, and I'm worried that he's not going to get along with the other kids, or they'll think he's "weird." Last time we were at the playground, he was trying to play with a kid a little younger than him, but all he did was make a bunch of weird noises and faces and run around like a big dork, and the other kid looked at him like "wtf?" I feel like it's my fault that he doesn't have any little friends; I'm just so shy and socially awkward that the thought of hanging out with a bunch of other moms makes me feel anxious, and the one playgroup I tried to take him to, I felt so out of place that I never went back. Sigh. Sometimes he does OK with other kids, but other times he is either really selfish and grabby (if they're playing toys together) or really high-strung and goofy. Will he make it in preschool? Any advice? :shock:
Maybe put him in a playgroup for the summer to kind of wean him (and yourself) into being more social with other families. It may be hard for you at first, and him as well, but it'll better prepare him for it in the fall when he wonât have you around to help him.
You might wanna look into this summer getting him involved into a play group or a part time sitter where he is in a home setting with other children.
He will need the social interaction for school as that is one thing the teachers and all will look for in him. They look at how they play and interact with other children.
But I would suggest a play group at least where you meet a COUPLE times a week to get him use to other children and playing with other children and learning how to share and comunicate. Those are all big things they look at in Preschools!
I am also shy around poeple I dont know - Is there a way you can just take a book to the play group and read and just the people think yer a 'loner' or what not?
Good luck!
What about trying one of those "parents day out" things, like twice a week or something? That way it will help him get used to the idea of being around other kids on a regular basis, and you don't have to socialize if that makes you feel awkward. Good luck!
This is what happened with our firstborn, coupled with his late talking... he's not socialising normally in school now. He's getting better, but he can get highly strung at school and act up putting up a boundary of acting strange.
I was depressed when he was younger and found the whole playgroup thing horrible, shmoozing with yuppie older mothers who were often down right rude to me. Not a great start for him, I know, but what can you do?
He can socialise and interact okay with small groups but his school environment freaks him out sometimes, even thoughts it's a small alternative school.
It can be frustrating, especially as other parents can ask "is he autistic/hyperactive?" and we know he is a fairly normal boy - just can't deal with certain social circumstances.
We're now looking into a play therapist for him as well as taking him to the naturopath to help with deal with his anxiety.
If you can bear it, I'd go with the other's suggestions about easing him into social situations with other kids, especially if he can go to an at home carer as this seems like a comfortable step up. He is still fairly young and adaptable.
Watch out when he does go to school if he is still behaving weird, there is such a rush to diagnose shy or eccentric kids these days. When I think back to all the really bizarre kids I went to school with, shit they'd all be diagnosed with something these days.
Role modelling might help, as in if you go to a playgroup with him play with the other kids act like a kid yourself so he can imitate you, saves you having to deal with the other parents too.
Maybe try a class, like swimming or gymnastics? My son was in a swimming class, and it wasn't really set up for parent interaction; the parents just observed or sometimes i brought a book or newspaper. I often times don't relate to other parents either, and i didn't really meet anyone interesting to talk to at the class, but it was all about the kids so it didn't matter.
jen, my first son is the same way. & me. I was/is shy & apprehensive about the whole playgroup sence. 3 is still young. You have a lot of time before kindergarten to help him make friends.
Here's a couple meet ups you might want to try to help you find other parents more your style in your area.
http://hipmama.meetup.com/
http://teenparents.meetup.com/
http://alternaparent.meetup.com/
& mothering dot com's location boards
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=76
The ones at meetup.com might not have a lot of people signed up in your area. if so you can either sign up for another city close by that has more people or print out some of the free flyers for the meet ups & hang them up around town in places where you think mamas you'd like to hang out with would see them (tattoo parlor, teen parents school, health food store, local midwives office, childrens museum, public library, etc).
good luck :D