Hello everybody..I have a question to ask all of you! I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month and we weren't serious at first..just a now and then type thing you know? Then just here lately we really been talking and seeing eachother alot on weekends. I have a 2 year old son who spends equal amount of time with me and his dad (me and his dad broke up when my son was 1 1/2 but still get along). My son is very close to me and he's very protective and he's very spoiled by both me and his dad. So I know when I FINALLY introduce him to the guy that I"ve been seeing, he's not going to take it very well. I had a boyfriend when he was 1 year old and he would fight the guy and not let him kiss me and push him away. Now he's older and very independent and very smart...so I know he would not have it now either. I"m just wondering how you guys dealt with taking your kids around your new boyfriend and if they were like my son..(mama AND daddy's boys/girls) how did you deal with them being overprotective and maybe mean to your new boyfriend? I mean my new guy knows how close I am with my son and how important he is to me...it's just now it's getting to the point that I think he should meet him. So how did you guys handle that?
My first real bf after being a single mom came when My daughter was 3 years, 3 months, and my son was 18 months.
First, I made sure our relationship was going somewhere first. I didn't want my kids to get attached to him if it would not be a long term relationship. So, our dates started off with dinner and videos at my house after the kids were in bed. Then, we would ahve dinner WITH the kids, or he would tag along with normal activities.
There is no need to be physical in front of your child until he is comfortable with your boyfriend. if your boyfriend focuses on being friendly and FUN with you and your son, your son probably won't feel any need to be protective.
My kid used to push my now x-bf and I away from each other when she was little (like, twoish). We used to laugh and say she was our chaparone b/c she would shout "NO" at the top of her lungs if we kissed each other (not making out or anything, just a friendly kiss).
She's three now, and it doesn't bother her at all. Maybe you could sit down with your son and explane that you have a friend who is really close to you and you want him to meet him.
My son was around my boyfriend before we dated since around the time he was born because my bf and I were good friends. Since BD and I broke up, my boyfriend took over the rent and stays over a few times a night.
My son sees BD once a week so I think he relishes the attention from my boyfriend and he's very attached to him. He doesn't have any problem with my boyfriend and I being close or kissing.
I just really hope my boyfriend and I last this time. We dated once before this, but he didn't stay over back then. We're more serious now, but things are still a bit rocky. I think my son would be crushed if he didn't see my boyfriend anymore.
I don't know what to suggest, just thought I'd share my experiences.
Thanks you guys for your suggestions. I still haven't introduced them yet but I"ll keep in mind what all of you said. Thanks again!