I dress my kids in whatever I can afford. Since I live in an area that is near a ton of secondhand/thrift shops and I live in or near areas where people frequently have garage sales, most of my kids clothes(and mine and my husbands) come from there. Wal-Mart is cheap and if I didn't have access to the thrift stores and garage sales, I'd totally get most of our clothes there.
We just don't have the money right now to buy clothes at nicer places.
i work at the largest outdoor mall in the world... so yeah i buy xander a lot of name brand cltohes cheaper then i could get at target. he wears $40 shoes. when i have the money i don't mind spending it on things he needs and will last.
My son wears mostly namebrand clothes and shoes(baby rocawear,phat farm,ecko etc) and for shoes he usually has a pair of baby air forces or something like that. If i was bad off financially I wouldnt, but since me and the BD can afford it I say why not?If you can afford it I see nothing wrong with dressing your kid in nice clothes, now when he is out playing in the sandbox hes not out in a 35 dollar ecko outfit, if hes playing outside and has a chance of getting dirty ill throw him in some play clothes. I do not dress my son in nice clothes to please anyone else,I dress him in nice clothes because I can afford it and it looks cute.
I have reservations about anyone wearing brand name clothes. I feel like it profits corporations and feeds the US obsession with brand identity. Americans have so much compared to the rest of the world, I can't understand profiting corporations even more and paying for the right to be their advertising.
Meghan, I understand where you are coming from, but if I choose to buy my son nice clothes it doesn't mean i am obsessed with brand identity. Yes Americans have more than the rest of the world, but isn't that why most people are happy about living in this country? because we have more than other countires? now Im not saying I don't care about other 3rd world countries, because I do. The way I see it is if I can afford to put my son in nice namebrand clothes, why should I feel shame about being able to dress my kid to the tee because other countires don't have as much as the US? BD and I work damn hard and are proud of everything we can provide for our son.
I was in Peace Corps in Gabon and those parents work damn hard too.
I'm not saying anyone is bad for choosing to wear branded clothes (or buy new cars, or live in houses much larger than anyone needs). What I'm saying is that I think we need to look at why brand-name clothes make us feel good, and what values that passes on to our children.
I am not saying people in Gabon don't work as hard or harder than I do I was just making a point. I agree we need to make sure we are passing the right values on to our children, but a peice of clothing or a nice pair of shoes is not going to affect the values you try to instill in your children unless you let it. I will teach my child the proper values, they will stick with him too regardless if he is wearing a 2 dollar shirt or a 200 dollar shirt.
I dress Ivy iin whatever cute clothes I can afford. I'm guilty of buying new things but most of it comes from wal-mart and target on sale. The second hand stores here are usuially crap. i went to austin a couple times early in the year and was blown away. you really can dress a kind in nice little outfits on the cheap in that town. it's just feesable to dress a kid entirely in second hand stuff here and expect that none of it will come iwth stains and things.
i had a very good friend who lived with me in a shelter who spent alot of her money dressing her child in name brand clothes. He had nikies and a little miniture gold cross and always the best hair products. it made me sad to see her shop because she told me she fealt like it was the best thing she could give her son. she felat like she was buying him respect. I wasn't offended that she spent her welfare money on gold crosses and nikies, though i did point out the fiscial illogic of doing so, but i often made a point of telling her that i respected her as a mother and none of that stuff she bought had anything to do with it.
Durability and quality aside, with brands like GAP and Old Navy, you ARE supporting slave/child labour, bad environmental practices and a whole host of other unpleasant initiatives.
Who cares how durable or cute it is if contributes to unfair and unjust practices and the cycle of consumerism and oppresion that holds down the exact people who we should be lifting up? For me, it's a matter of being socially conscious, I mean really, clothes people, it's clothes??
Holy word mcfucking word. Can't believe I didn't check this thread sooner! The Gap is teh evil when it comes to practices, and YES by giving them your money, you are supporting their practices.
So um, your kid looking cute is more important than people in other countries who are mistreated, starving and working their asses off for a laughable income in shitty conditions? And you're saying this like it ain't no big thang at a progressive website?
If people stopped supporting corporations who exploit people in other countries, then either these corporations would fold and give way to fair trade companies, or they would realize that "hey, to most people, cute looking kids ISN'T more important, so maybe I should revise this and stop the human exploitation to get customers back!"
Don't shop at the Gap. Plain and simple. Walmart I can understand, because there's the whole economic dependancy and low income areas factors in people HAVING to shop at Walmart. No one HAS to shop at the Gap, and in fact for the most part, the Gap is more expensive. So by doing so you're putting yourself and your kid looking cute ahead of the basic human rights of other people, which just is not cool. You can find durable, cute and FAIR TRADE clothes at other places, without giving your money to a horrid corporation like the Gap.
Generally I agree, but Walmart is also a horrid corporation, with a documented history of sexual harassment, discrimination, anti-choice activiety,union-bashing, low wages and pushing medical costs off on the state medical programs by refusing to provide decent health care benefits. I can't in good conscience shop there.
Oh, I know, I don't shop at Walmart either, but the way Walmart works it basically exploits low income areas and families and creates dependancy. I can understand why people shop at Walmart, because for some folks it's out of necessity, people who know what Walmart does and still shop there generally do it because there's nothing else they can do or can afford, they're very much victims out of Walmarts exploitation as well.
The Gap does not create that same dependancy nor is it targetted towards people who can't afford to go somewhere else, it doesn't exploit or create dependancy on low income families and the only reason people would shop at the Gap knowing their shadyness is because they have cute clothes.
It's the difference between understandable economic and locational reasons and completely superficial reasons.
I shop at walmart because I almost have to. I wouldn't if there were other places where I could reasonably shop. buses in my town don't take you to smaller shops and there are many places here where we don't have sidewalks to bringing a todler along on foot is out of the question. wal mart also has the best prices on produce and takes food stamps, something locol farmers can't do. I do find myself buying things there that i could get in other places, like inexpensive dvd's and the like but my main reason for going there is that I simply can't afford the time and money it wuld take to shop everywhere else. If i had a car i might make a day of shopping each weekend or something and break free from the wal-mart cyle that traps rural and small town low income folks.
If you can afford it I see nothing wrong with dressing your kid in nice clothes,
The phrase, "nice clothes", has been used over and over again in this thread.
My clothes are nice, but they aren't Gap or Ekco etc. Some are previously loved, some are handmade, some are locally made, fair trade, you name it.
The fact that I don't buy from corporations that mass-produce, use slave labour, exploit poor nations, destroy the environment, doesn't mean my clothes aren't nice.
Perhaps we could replace "nice" with "brand name".
why mince words? some people's definition of name brand is "nice" many people believe that high quality, new, name brand clothes are the best clothes there are. I don't always agree. I'd rather have something I find pretty and flattering than something that advertises my ability to afford luxury but when someone chooses to identify a certian kindof clohtes as the most desireable by calling that catagory "nice" it's a rather telling move. it reflects her values. i call my clothes nice and they're all modafied with ripped hems.
that came off kind of snippy but i meant that calling a certian kind of clothes "nice" was accurate for some people. if i can call my unshaven legs sexy you can call your designer clothes nice.
if anyone is up for discussing this though, why chose to spend extra cash on clothes rather than trips or going out or toys or books or any other thing?
We mince words for the sake of feelings of other members.
There's a problem with referring to designer clothes as "nice clothes" because that implies that other clothes are inferior and reinforces classism, and hurts the feelings of (many members) who cannot afford designer clothes yet still have children who are dressed nicely, cutely, what have you. Considering this is a site with many mamas who are on social assistance or living on one income, to ask them to check their classist privilege is not mincing words, nor should it really be up for debate. It's a simple word switch, it's not going to hurt the girls to change one word for another for the sake of the feelings of the community.
Considering this is a site with many mamas who are on social assistance or living on one income, to ask them to check their classist privilege is not mincing words
(I mean to ask women to check classist privilege, the way that was worded sounded like I meant asking the women on one income to check classist privilege, which wasn't what I was getting at)
it is a big deal. a very big deal. why not admit it's a big deal, and that you hope to change or shape the way people think of themselves and others by asking them to use specific language. you seem to have some reasonable ideas about why you want this. my point was that you made a demand before ever asking any questions. did it occur to ask why she and many other people feel bad when they can't buy designer clothes or why they feel they are doing their kids a favor and making themselves look like better parents when they do. did you think to ask if the above posters thought of name brand clothes as the best her whole life and if she thought of other people as poor parents if they dressed their kids in second hand outfits? did we get the chance to engage in a discussion that might have taught us all something about ourselves? word substatutions are seldome simple. i understand that they are often needed when trying to provide a safe space of some kind but asking people to limit their use of terms being discussed and disceted within a particular thread about ideas that can really only be expressed by discussing different definitions of specific terms as they are defined by our cultures is a bit silly. if you want to ask people to use a certian term such as "name brand" and never use the objectionable term "nice clothes" under normal circumstances that's one thing but it really did seem as if you were trying to stunt a discussion about something that was both interesting and important.
"if anyone is up for discussing this though, why chose to spend extra cash on clothes rather than trips or going out or toys or books or any other thing?"
In my financial situation I have enough money to go buy my son toys/books,take vacations/trips,and afford namebrand clothes/shoes for my son all at the same. I am very fortuante that I am able to do this, because I am aware not everyone can. I do not compromise my familys needs to go buy my son a pair of 60 dollar Nikes.
"There's a problem with referring to designer clothes as "nice clothes" because that implies that other clothes are inferior and reinforces classism, and hurts the feelings of (many members) who cannot afford designer clothes yet still have children who are dressed nicely, cutely, what have you"
I do not remeber what I said in previous posts, but if I offended anyone in the least bit I apologize. I do not however apologize for being in a good financial place in my life, or for being able to buy namebrand clothes that I consider nice in my standards for my son, and I never will. I do not consider only name brand clothes to be nice, as I have seen many non name brand clothes and hand-me-downs that were adoroable, and many namebrand outfits that were ugly to no end. It just happens that the clothing I prefer to dress my son(as well as myself,and my BD wears them to) happen to be namebrand urban wear. I would also like to point out that I do not dress my son in namebrand clothes and shoes to impress other people, I dress him in those clothes because it looks cute on him. I can afford to provide namebrand clothing and shoes for him, and I take no shame in that at all. I am proud of myself for being able to do so and will NEVER apologize for that under any circumstances whatsoever.
I can afford to provide namebrand clothing and shoes for him, and I take no shame in that at all. I am proud of myself for being able to do so and will NEVER apologize for that under any circumstances whatsoever.
Congratulations. It's great that you have such a comfy situation and you're proud of yourself. But what needs to be realized is that there are A LOT of women on this site who don't have money to spend like that, and your position is priviledged.
Using a term like "nice" or "ugly" to describe something is a personal value judgement. Humans have a tendency to simplify judgements to a binary opposition, so, as naivete said above, referring to brand name clothing as nice implies that non-brand name clothing is not as nice. Using the phrase "brand name" instead of "nice" eliminates referring to a VALUE, which can be hurtful to those women who are not as financially well-off.
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it is a big deal. a very big deal. why not admit it's a big deal, and that you hope to change or shape the way people think of themselves and others by asking them to use specific language.
You're right!! Offending people IS a big deal.
We do hope to change the way people think about themselves and others on this site; it's empowering. Using terminology that offends or hurts someone else is NOT thinking about others. SO, by choosing our wording carefully, we are not tippy-toeing around issues, we are spreading awareness of the underprivileged and the affect that judgement ( intentional or not ) has on our peers. This site is about SUPPORT.
Congratulations. It's great that you have such a comfy situation and you're proud of yourself. But what needs to be realized is that there are A LOT of women on this site who don't have money to spend like that, and your position is priviledged.
I understand that. Just because my position is privledged should not mean I should have to be shy about it or not be proud of it though, as I have seen posts on this website about women being poor and such. That seems to be fine, but if I started a post about me having a secure financial status, it would be considered offensive? I realize not everybody is wealthy, but just because the style of clothes that I happen to like for myself and my son is namebrand most of the time should not mean that I cannot talk about. For example,. if someone were to start a post saying "I got this really NICE hand-me-down outfit" and I were to say "I got this really NICE namebrand outfit". Would my post be considered offensive and the other post not? Namebrand clothing just happens to be my personal taste most of the time. I do not go to posts about NICE hand-me-down clothing and say "thats offensive because I don't put my son in hand-me downs". I realize that finance is a touchy issue, I have been on that side of the fence where I was living out of a van. I just do not think that I should be penalized or looked down upon because my PERSONAL STYLE, which everyone is entitled to just happens to be namebrand.
Congratulations. It's great that you have such a comfy situation and you're proud of yourself. But what needs to be realized is that there are A LOT of women on this site who don't have money to spend like that, and your position is priviledged
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I understand that. Just because my position is privledged should not mean I should have to be shy about it or not be proud of it though, as I have seen posts on this website about women being poor and such. That seems to be fine, but if I started a post about me having a secure financial status, it would be considered offensive? I realize not everybody is wealthy, but just because the style of clothes that I happen to like for myself and my son is namebrand most of the time should not mean that I cannot talk about. For example,. if someone were to start a post saying "I got this really NICE hand-me-down outfit" and I were to say "I got this really NICE namebrand outfit". Would my post be considered offensive and the other post not? Namebrand clothing just happens to be my personal taste most of the time. I do not go to posts about NICE hand-me-down clothing and say "thats offensive because I don't put my son in hand-me downs". I realize that finance is a touchy issue, I have been on that side of the fence where I was living out of a van. I just do not think that I should be penalized or looked down upon because my PERSONAL STYLE, which everyone is entitled to just happens to be namebrand
Would you walk up to a homeless guy on the street, and say "Yeah you got it tough. Anyways, look at my new diamond hair clip, and my prada shoes, and I'm totally about to go and buy a brand new car because I like to look nice"
It's not appropriate. I also don't see why it's up for debate so much recently, that people seem to think they can say whatever they want here without regard to the people reading. It's not. This is a community, we enforce respect, if you're called out on something do NOT keep defending it, apologize, learn, move on.
In my financial situation I have enough money to go buy my son toys/books,take vacations/trips,and afford namebrand clothes/shoes for my son all at the same. I am very fortuante that I am able to do this, because I am aware not everyone can. I do not compromise my familys needs to go buy my son a pair of 60 dollar Nikes.
I understand you have a good financial situation and you dress your kid in name brand clothes...I don't see anything wrong with that...But you have to realize not everyone is as lucky as you are..By stating I have enough money to buy my son toys/books/,take vacations/trips,and afford namebrand clothes/shoes , it sounds like if your sort of bragging about it. Even if those are not your intentions.
Like myself , not everyone has money for all these things , and you listing them didn't make me feel all too good..
We're financially stable, and I could buy my son pretty much whatever clothes we want, including name-brand. We make a conscious choice not to, because I don't like the values that teaches him. I have the privilege to have money to spend on things other than enriching corporations who don't give a shit about my family or the world, and I choose to use that privilege to support people and causes who do.
I like to shop in charity shops. You get a good bargain if you go at the right time, and are prepared to look through things properly.
There is a cheap shop too in UK called Primark. I love shopping there too. It's probably cheaper than most charity shops. It doesnt bother me that people know I spent a little amount on clothes.
Babies are not in clothes for that long, and I don't like the idea of spending so much on an outfit they will only get a couple of wears out of.
I would rather spend it on something that is needed. If you can get decent food for less would you take that option? I would, so why not the same with clothes :)
I understand you have a good financial situation and you dress your kid in name brand clothes...I don't see anything wrong with that...But you have to realize not everyone is as lucky as you are..By stating I have enough money to buy my son toys/books/,take vacations/trips,and afford namebrand clothes/shoes , it sounds like if your sort of bragging about it. Even if those are not your intentions.
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The only reason I said that was because someone else posted a question about spenind money on clothes and not other things, I am sorry if I made you feel bad as those were not my intentions at all. I do not like to make others feel bad and I apologize for that. I was just trying to answer the question asked in the best way I thought at the time.
Uhm, because it's BRAGGING?
Would you walk up to a homeless guy on the street, and say "Yeah you got it tough. Anyways, look at my new diamond hair clip, and my prada shoes, and I'm totally about to go and buy a brand new car because I like to look nice"
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My intention was NEVER to brag, I believe when most people brag they are trying to cover up another insucurity or make themselves seem more adquate. I also think bragging about stuff like finance is a very hurtful thing to do and is never appropriate at ANY time. All I was doing was trying to respond to previous posts in a way that I felt I could get my point across. I realize GM is a place to support mamas from all different places in life, and that you need to respect everyone. I did not mean to ever offend anyone but if I did I am sorry. I just feel about strongly about the namebrand clothes issue. It is a personal style choice for me, plain and simple, it does not go any deeper than that. The only thing I was trying to say is that someone who can afford to buy namebrand clothes should not have to be ashamed of it. Then about the "nice" thing I was just trying to say that nice is different to everyone, I may think rap music is nice and you may think rock music is nice. It is just a personal choice. Once again I do apologize if I offended anyone or sounded like I was bragging because that was never my intention at all. I wish all GM's much success and happiness.
P.S. I was homeless once for a good while, so to answer your question no I would not go "bragging about my things" to a homeless person ever. I am not a mean coldhearted person.
I dress my kids in whatever I can afford. Since I live in an area that is near a ton of secondhand/thrift shops and I live in or near areas where people frequently have garage sales, most of my kids clothes(and mine and my husbands) come from there. Wal-Mart is cheap and if I didn't have access to the thrift stores and garage sales, I'd totally get most of our clothes there.
We just don't have the money right now to buy clothes at nicer places.
I second it.
i work at the largest outdoor mall in the world... so yeah i buy xander a lot of name brand cltohes cheaper then i could get at target. he wears $40 shoes. when i have the money i don't mind spending it on things he needs and will last.
My son wears mostly namebrand clothes and shoes(baby rocawear,phat farm,ecko etc) and for shoes he usually has a pair of baby air forces or something like that. If i was bad off financially I wouldnt, but since me and the BD can afford it I say why not?If you can afford it I see nothing wrong with dressing your kid in nice clothes, now when he is out playing in the sandbox hes not out in a 35 dollar ecko outfit, if hes playing outside and has a chance of getting dirty ill throw him in some play clothes. I do not dress my son in nice clothes to please anyone else,I dress him in nice clothes because I can afford it and it looks cute.
I have reservations about anyone wearing brand name clothes. I feel like it profits corporations and feeds the US obsession with brand identity. Americans have so much compared to the rest of the world, I can't understand profiting corporations even more and paying for the right to be their advertising.
Meghan, I understand where you are coming from, but if I choose to buy my son nice clothes it doesn't mean i am obsessed with brand identity. Yes Americans have more than the rest of the world, but isn't that why most people are happy about living in this country? because we have more than other countires? now Im not saying I don't care about other 3rd world countries, because I do. The way I see it is if I can afford to put my son in nice namebrand clothes, why should I feel shame about being able to dress my kid to the tee because other countires don't have as much as the US? BD and I work damn hard and are proud of everything we can provide for our son.
I was in Peace Corps in Gabon and those parents work damn hard too.
I'm not saying anyone is bad for choosing to wear branded clothes (or buy new cars, or live in houses much larger than anyone needs). What I'm saying is that I think we need to look at why brand-name clothes make us feel good, and what values that passes on to our children.
I am not saying people in Gabon don't work as hard or harder than I do I was just making a point. I agree we need to make sure we are passing the right values on to our children, but a peice of clothing or a nice pair of shoes is not going to affect the values you try to instill in your children unless you let it. I will teach my child the proper values, they will stick with him too regardless if he is wearing a 2 dollar shirt or a 200 dollar shirt.
I dress Ivy iin whatever cute clothes I can afford. I'm guilty of buying new things but most of it comes from wal-mart and target on sale. The second hand stores here are usuially crap. i went to austin a couple times early in the year and was blown away. you really can dress a kind in nice little outfits on the cheap in that town. it's just feesable to dress a kid entirely in second hand stuff here and expect that none of it will come iwth stains and things.
i had a very good friend who lived with me in a shelter who spent alot of her money dressing her child in name brand clothes. He had nikies and a little miniture gold cross and always the best hair products. it made me sad to see her shop because she told me she fealt like it was the best thing she could give her son. she felat like she was buying him respect. I wasn't offended that she spent her welfare money on gold crosses and nikies, though i did point out the fiscial illogic of doing so, but i often made a point of telling her that i respected her as a mother and none of that stuff she bought had anything to do with it.
Holy word mcfucking word. Can't believe I didn't check this thread sooner! The Gap is teh evil when it comes to practices, and YES by giving them your money, you are supporting their practices.
So um, your kid looking cute is more important than people in other countries who are mistreated, starving and working their asses off for a laughable income in shitty conditions? And you're saying this like it ain't no big thang at a progressive website?
If people stopped supporting corporations who exploit people in other countries, then either these corporations would fold and give way to fair trade companies, or they would realize that "hey, to most people, cute looking kids ISN'T more important, so maybe I should revise this and stop the human exploitation to get customers back!"
Don't shop at the Gap. Plain and simple. Walmart I can understand, because there's the whole economic dependancy and low income areas factors in people HAVING to shop at Walmart. No one HAS to shop at the Gap, and in fact for the most part, the Gap is more expensive. So by doing so you're putting yourself and your kid looking cute ahead of the basic human rights of other people, which just is not cool. You can find durable, cute and FAIR TRADE clothes at other places, without giving your money to a horrid corporation like the Gap.
Generally I agree, but Walmart is also a horrid corporation, with a documented history of sexual harassment, discrimination, anti-choice activiety,union-bashing, low wages and pushing medical costs off on the state medical programs by refusing to provide decent health care benefits. I can't in good conscience shop there.
Oh, I know, I don't shop at Walmart either, but the way Walmart works it basically exploits low income areas and families and creates dependancy. I can understand why people shop at Walmart, because for some folks it's out of necessity, people who know what Walmart does and still shop there generally do it because there's nothing else they can do or can afford, they're very much victims out of Walmarts exploitation as well.
The Gap does not create that same dependancy nor is it targetted towards people who can't afford to go somewhere else, it doesn't exploit or create dependancy on low income families and the only reason people would shop at the Gap knowing their shadyness is because they have cute clothes.
It's the difference between understandable economic and locational reasons and completely superficial reasons.
I shop at walmart because I almost have to. I wouldn't if there were other places where I could reasonably shop. buses in my town don't take you to smaller shops and there are many places here where we don't have sidewalks to bringing a todler along on foot is out of the question. wal mart also has the best prices on produce and takes food stamps, something locol farmers can't do. I do find myself buying things there that i could get in other places, like inexpensive dvd's and the like but my main reason for going there is that I simply can't afford the time and money it wuld take to shop everywhere else. If i had a car i might make a day of shopping each weekend or something and break free from the wal-mart cyle that traps rural and small town low income folks.
The phrase, "nice clothes", has been used over and over again in this thread.
My clothes are nice, but they aren't Gap or Ekco etc. Some are previously loved, some are handmade, some are locally made, fair trade, you name it.
The fact that I don't buy from corporations that mass-produce, use slave labour, exploit poor nations, destroy the environment, doesn't mean my clothes aren't nice.
Perhaps we could replace "nice" with "brand name".
why mince words? some people's definition of name brand is "nice" many people believe that high quality, new, name brand clothes are the best clothes there are. I don't always agree. I'd rather have something I find pretty and flattering than something that advertises my ability to afford luxury but when someone chooses to identify a certian kindof clohtes as the most desireable by calling that catagory "nice" it's a rather telling move. it reflects her values. i call my clothes nice and they're all modafied with ripped hems.
that came off kind of snippy but i meant that calling a certian kind of clothes "nice" was accurate for some people. if i can call my unshaven legs sexy you can call your designer clothes nice.
if anyone is up for discussing this though, why chose to spend extra cash on clothes rather than trips or going out or toys or books or any other thing?
We mince words for the sake of feelings of other members.
There's a problem with referring to designer clothes as "nice clothes" because that implies that other clothes are inferior and reinforces classism, and hurts the feelings of (many members) who cannot afford designer clothes yet still have children who are dressed nicely, cutely, what have you. Considering this is a site with many mamas who are on social assistance or living on one income, to ask them to check their classist privilege is not mincing words, nor should it really be up for debate. It's a simple word switch, it's not going to hurt the girls to change one word for another for the sake of the feelings of the community.
(I mean to ask women to check classist privilege, the way that was worded sounded like I meant asking the women on one income to check classist privilege, which wasn't what I was getting at)
it is a big deal. a very big deal. why not admit it's a big deal, and that you hope to change or shape the way people think of themselves and others by asking them to use specific language. you seem to have some reasonable ideas about why you want this. my point was that you made a demand before ever asking any questions. did it occur to ask why she and many other people feel bad when they can't buy designer clothes or why they feel they are doing their kids a favor and making themselves look like better parents when they do. did you think to ask if the above posters thought of name brand clothes as the best her whole life and if she thought of other people as poor parents if they dressed their kids in second hand outfits? did we get the chance to engage in a discussion that might have taught us all something about ourselves? word substatutions are seldome simple. i understand that they are often needed when trying to provide a safe space of some kind but asking people to limit their use of terms being discussed and disceted within a particular thread about ideas that can really only be expressed by discussing different definitions of specific terms as they are defined by our cultures is a bit silly. if you want to ask people to use a certian term such as "name brand" and never use the objectionable term "nice clothes" under normal circumstances that's one thing but it really did seem as if you were trying to stunt a discussion about something that was both interesting and important.
.. mk there.
Use whatever you want, justify hurting other peoples feelings with semantics, okay.
"if anyone is up for discussing this though, why chose to spend extra cash on clothes rather than trips or going out or toys or books or any other thing?"
In my financial situation I have enough money to go buy my son toys/books,take vacations/trips,and afford namebrand clothes/shoes for my son all at the same. I am very fortuante that I am able to do this, because I am aware not everyone can. I do not compromise my familys needs to go buy my son a pair of 60 dollar Nikes.
"There's a problem with referring to designer clothes as "nice clothes" because that implies that other clothes are inferior and reinforces classism, and hurts the feelings of (many members) who cannot afford designer clothes yet still have children who are dressed nicely, cutely, what have you"
I do not remeber what I said in previous posts, but if I offended anyone in the least bit I apologize. I do not however apologize for being in a good financial place in my life, or for being able to buy namebrand clothes that I consider nice in my standards for my son, and I never will. I do not consider only name brand clothes to be nice, as I have seen many non name brand clothes and hand-me-downs that were adoroable, and many namebrand outfits that were ugly to no end. It just happens that the clothing I prefer to dress my son(as well as myself,and my BD wears them to) happen to be namebrand urban wear. I would also like to point out that I do not dress my son in namebrand clothes and shoes to impress other people, I dress him in those clothes because it looks cute on him. I can afford to provide namebrand clothing and shoes for him, and I take no shame in that at all. I am proud of myself for being able to do so and will NEVER apologize for that under any circumstances whatsoever.
Congratulations. It's great that you have such a comfy situation and you're proud of yourself. But what needs to be realized is that there are A LOT of women on this site who don't have money to spend like that, and your position is priviledged.
Using a term like "nice" or "ugly" to describe something is a personal value judgement. Humans have a tendency to simplify judgements to a binary opposition, so, as naivete said above, referring to brand name clothing as nice implies that non-brand name clothing is not as nice. Using the phrase "brand name" instead of "nice" eliminates referring to a VALUE, which can be hurtful to those women who are not as financially well-off.
You're right!! Offending people IS a big deal.
We do hope to change the way people think about themselves and others on this site; it's empowering. Using terminology that offends or hurts someone else is NOT thinking about others. SO, by choosing our wording carefully, we are not tippy-toeing around issues, we are spreading awareness of the underprivileged and the affect that judgement ( intentional or not ) has on our peers. This site is about SUPPORT.
sorry i posted that twice.
Uhm, because it's BRAGGING?
Would you walk up to a homeless guy on the street, and say "Yeah you got it tough. Anyways, look at my new diamond hair clip, and my prada shoes, and I'm totally about to go and buy a brand new car because I like to look nice"
It's not appropriate. I also don't see why it's up for debate so much recently, that people seem to think they can say whatever they want here without regard to the people reading. It's not. This is a community, we enforce respect, if you're called out on something do NOT keep defending it, apologize, learn, move on.
I understand you have a good financial situation and you dress your kid in name brand clothes...I don't see anything wrong with that...But you have to realize not everyone is as lucky as you are..By stating I have enough money to buy my son toys/books/,take vacations/trips,and afford namebrand clothes/shoes , it sounds like if your sort of bragging about it. Even if those are not your intentions.
Like myself , not everyone has money for all these things , and you listing them didn't make me feel all too good..
We're financially stable, and I could buy my son pretty much whatever clothes we want, including name-brand. We make a conscious choice not to, because I don't like the values that teaches him. I have the privilege to have money to spend on things other than enriching corporations who don't give a shit about my family or the world, and I choose to use that privilege to support people and causes who do.
I like to shop in charity shops. You get a good bargain if you go at the right time, and are prepared to look through things properly.
There is a cheap shop too in UK called Primark. I love shopping there too. It's probably cheaper than most charity shops. It doesnt bother me that people know I spent a little amount on clothes.
Babies are not in clothes for that long, and I don't like the idea of spending so much on an outfit they will only get a couple of wears out of.
I would rather spend it on something that is needed. If you can get decent food for less would you take that option? I would, so why not the same with clothes :)
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