I almost quit my job yesterday.
My job is going to schools and talking to kids about the "rights, realities, and responsibilities of being a young parent".
My idea about the program is I help kids make informed decisions on whether or not to become parents.
The programs idea is that we help kids make informed decisions on whether or not to become parents and the right answer is always no.
Every other week we have a "team meeting". Almost every meeting turns into everyone arguing with me about my parenting style. (No spanking, vegan, sex positive, queer friendly, gender neutral, etc.)
Yesterday my boss was getting really stressed out because we got a new "safer" curriculum for getting grants with, which means we talk about teen parenting without ever mentioning sex. We were going over the curriculum and fussing over the changes.
We got to the line that reads "I'm sure everyone in here has thought about what it'd be like to have kids someday. We thought about having kids in our future too, but we had kids before we were ready."
I said, "Jennnifer, I don't want to say that line." And she said "Well, Charlie, whether you're willing to admit it or not you did have Cae before you were ready, Ms. 'I'm on Welfare' and all that.
I reminded her that my food stamps had just been cut off, stood up and left the room crying.
She immediately realized that what she said was wrong and apologized a bunch.
About ten minutes later she came into the bathroom and apologized more and said she didn't mean it and that she admired me and cried.
I just wish she had never said it. Because even though she didn't mean it, there are plenty of people out there who do mean it.
I've felt like shit ever since. I hate that one persons disgusting comment can bring me down and I am not sure what I should do.
Not that I have any advice.......BUT
Every single time someone makes a judgement about my young mommyhood I think to myself, "yeah, fuck you. Just wait and see how hard it is to raise a child-esp. on your own and then be judged on top of it.
I mean, seriously, we have more strength than non parents. And for people to make assumptions or judgement, or even comments to your face is pretty damn rude, ignorant, and just plain old mean.
Childless people are on welfare too :roll:
Stay strong and dont let the job get to you. If you dont feel you can say that stuff then maybe you can figure out something else to do?( if not, im sorry for saying that :cry: )
Quit. Make a point with it. You have 20 grand in scholarship money for next year so you don't need the job anyway, right? That's totally rude and she should not say that to you, whether she meant it or not. It's absolutely unacceptable. You're an amazing mama and you don't deserve that kind of treatment. Besides, if the purpose of "No Kidding" is to discourage young people from becoming parents, you're probably not very good for it anyway, since all your students must see what an amazing mama you are. Honestly, fuck her.
She shouldn't have said that to you, or even thought it. I don't care how stressed out she was. Besides, she is saying that you're not ready because you are on welfare? I feel like a lot of the (totally invalid) arguments against teenagers becoming parents are actually (totally invalid) arguments against poor people becoming parents - it's just if folks phrased it that way it would be much less acceptable than condeming young parents. It's such bullshit. Money is NOT the most important thing in being a mama, and if she doesn't know that, it's because she has no kids of her own, so who the fuck is she to tell you what it is to be a good parent anyway?
ugh. This just pisses me off so much. I think you should quit.
I cannot believe she said that! I am so sorry...
:shock: I'm so sorry you had to put up with that.
You're right, it was totally out of line.
not only was it out of line, it is also untrue & ineffective way to "help" youth.
check out some stuff about positve youth development theory, so you can back up your gut with statistics.
There's something for your program. It takes a hell of a lot more strength to be a young parent than to be an older one. Older parents don't have to deal with shit like that. Older parents aren't called out on a daily basis when all they're doing is going to the park or buying groceries. Older parents don't face near as much ignorance or condemnation. Younger parents are forced to be BETTER parents because if we aren't the epitome of all things motherhood, then we're told we don't deserve our kids.
If what the above poster said is true about you not needing the job, I'd quit. It's not like you'll be changing people's views of young moms if you don't leave and have to follow a stupid script like that anyway.
I don't want to quit. I'm just not going to say the stuff they say. Thanks everyone. And I do need the job, at least until I am in school.
ugh, that part about " whether you want to admit it or not" why do people think teen moms have their head up their ass in denial if we are not sad and stressed. sorry i know you are trying to make peace with the situation but alot of people tell me im not happy or im not ok with being a teen mom because i just cant be because its not right, i should have the common decentcy to fade away and have a misserable life so no one feels like i got a break for not having a shitty life after i sinned. sorry this is my own rant it was just a part of what was said that for me triggered a million comments just like that. keep your head up girl. people are not only wrong but mean so tell them how tacky they are.
dont quit. if its that bad i dont want to work there by myself.
it's usually not bad, Lauren. I think it'll be fun to work together.
I love what you and mamamayhem said. I think things like this need to be said in those classes. Maybe it would open a few eyes.