i guess i should introduce myself....
my name is dee and i'm 18 years old and am 36 weeks pregnant with my first child. i am very excited and am eagerly anticipating my due date, august 19, 2006 even tho it seem soooo far away.
i hid my pregnancy for the first 5 months because i was away at college and when my boyfriend finally told my mom it went better than expected...for my side of the family. when his mother found out, it was awful. she hates me. she has been trying to convince him the whole time that i am some awful whore, which i'm not, who is just out to trap him. throughout all this, he has still remained supportive by my side tho, and for that i am grateful.
his mom is paying for a paternity test that we agreed to make her feel better and because i know i have NOTHING to hide. i have only had two partners and those two people weren't even in the same year!
the only thing is...i cannot bring myself to forgive her for all the awful lies she has told my family about me. she wants so bad for this child not to be her son's that she even lied to my mom and told her that i said i was a lesbian...bizarre...i know. she calls me a slut. a whore. an alcoholic. a liar. she says that i am the devil and i am a gold digger. and all things outlandishly insulting.
i dont know if i will ever get past my anger towards her to allow her to be a part of my son's life when he is born. when the paternity tests come back...yeah, she'll look stupid, but it will only infuriate me more. i dont want people like her to be a part of his life. she is frighteningly unstable and i fear i will NEVER trust her alone with my son. i wish she would just go away.
what should i do?
hey dee. i'm crystal and i am also 18 and due right after you- august 30- with my first baby as well.
your situation sounds a lot like mine- i hid the pregnancy, but then my parents turned out okay with it, but my fiance's mom is kinda crazy over it. her daughter just had a baby and doesn't know who the father is, so sometimes she questions if my fiance really is the father, but whatever, he and i know he is. the next problem is keeping her from being at the hospital and in the delivery room with us when the baby is born, which she insists on. ick!
anyways, i'm looking forward to seeing you around the boards and maybe we can set up a team since our due dates are so close.
Hey dee, welcome :D I'm brittany, 17 year old mama to an almost 11 month old girl. Congrats on the pregnancy, you're almost done! how exciting..
Also, please don't use anti-woman language. This is a feminist website and it's not welcome here.
thanks for the congrats i really appreciate it, and sorry about the "anti-woman" language. just so there wont be any more mishaps...could you tell me what exactly it was that was "anti-woman"...i'm sorta confused.
:?:
The term "whore" as an insult is anti woman and anti sex worker, on top of being a feminist site this is also a sex work positive site.
basically anti-woman language is language that is used to be demeaning to a woman, naivete gave an example.
Anyway, I am Skylar and I have a son Eric who is almost 2. nice to meet ya :)
oh ok i got ya...sorry about that...but how do you guys feel about her visiting the baby and such? <<is it ok to ask that?
No that is totally ok :)
I have a notmil kind of like that, who thinks that bd broke up with me because I am not good enough for him (when really I am the one who dumped him because he hit me...) and she is constantly criticizing me and how I choose to parent. I allow her to see my son in my presense, because although I do not get along with her, I do not see this in itself as a reason for me to not let her see my son. I will not, however, let her take him by himself because I do not trust her due to past issues. you have to set your own barriers and be firm about them to her. If she wants to see her grandchild, but you won't let her take her/him alone or whatever you decide, then she will be the one who decides if she wants to grow up and deal with the fact that she will have to see you, or if she is going to choose not to see her grandchild. kwim? It will probably be different in your situation, but that is just what I did in my situation.
like you said before, once the result comes back and she sees that her son is the bd, then she'll look like a fool, and all the people that she told those lies to will probably be able to figure out that she was lying.
maybe after the test her feelings towards you will change, maybe not. you said she is "unstable", i don't know really what that means, but if she's degrading you and you're afraid that she'd say the same things about you in front of your child or bad things about him, then maybe you could limit the amount of time he spends with her. like not letting him be alone with her while he is a baby, and making sure that you or your bd is there to watch out for him. hopefully over time she'll get over herself and accept you and your son.
thanks so much! i think i'll do what most of you guys said and to let him see her, with my supervision in moderation. that way i will feel better and maybe it will give me and her a chance to reconcile...
Cae's grandma was really terrible at first. Once Cae was born she turned nice. I haven't seen her since my divorce though, so who knows what she thinks now.
welcome, i am heather single mama to lyric who'll be 5 in september ...
i wanted to point out taking the ticket outta your signature - it's great, but some mamas have dial up & then having that on there will totallly load up pages slow... thanks!
hey Dee, my name is Elizabeth. Im 18 and nearly 5 months pregnant with my first baby. My fiances mom is the same way, well was till i got pregnant. She hated me and didnt want anything to do with me. Now shes nice to me as long as im around. Her daughter dislikes me more then she does. Im letting his family around my baby as long as me or my fiance is there. Im not doing any over night sleep overs or anything like that. I set down some ground rules because i dont want my baby growing up in a crazy inviroment. Shes agreed and knows that it will be her fault if i cute her and her daughter off from my baby. Oh yeah good luck with your baby and congrats. Mine will be an early or late christmas present.