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Community Advocacy and Support by and for Young Mothers

Fiance's Family

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texasma88
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Fiance's Family

Hi my name is Elizabeth. Im 18 and having my first child in december just after christmas. His family cant stand me and they were always trying to break us up before the baby. Now his mother is nice to be but only because im pregnant with her grandchild. We have set ground rules and ive made it clear that if i dont allow her to see my baby it will be her fault.

His sister on the other hand simply hates me. Her husband is a convicted sex offender. My best freind is marrying one of his victums/cousins. My fiance and i have mad it clear that our baby isnt to be left alone with him. Expecally if it is a boy. His family though, his sister in particular, is treating me like im the worst human in the world. I cant stand him and honestly he freaks me out. Do yall think im wrong?? I'm not sure if its completely right. I dont want to be the reason his family cuts him out. Should i try and find a common ground like with his mother or should i leave it the way it is?

ExpectingSkittle
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Fiance's Family

make it a ground rule. if you're uncomfortable about the safety of your child you shouldn't have to compromise it just so you won't hurt his feelings. what he did was wrong and there is a consequence to every action. you can still let him visit with the baby, but you can make it clear that you want yourself, bd, or someone you trust present there too.

mamamayhem
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Fiance's Family

I'll compromise a lot of things for family, but compromising the child's safety? No way. And quite honestly, if his sister decided to marry a sex offender, she should know what that's going to bring. No WAY would I allow a known offender around my son with or without supervision! I don't care WHO it alienates, I'd rather alienate a grown man/woman who has the capacity to understand, adjust, and deal with it than have my child physically and psychologically damaged for the rest of his life in the name of politeness!

Honestly, this makes me really angry for you at his family. Ask them how they'd feel if it was THEIR child being put in harms way like that.

CanadianMamma
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Fiance's Family

mamamayhem wrote:
I'll compromise a lot of things for family, but compromising the child's safety? No way. And quite honestly, if his sister decided to marry a sex offender, she should know what that's going to bring. No WAY would I allow a known offender around my son with or without supervision! I don't care WHO it alienates, I'd rather alienate a grown man/woman who has the capacity to understand, adjust, and deal with it than have my child physically and psychologically damaged for the rest of his life in the name of politeness!

I agree. My son has never met his paternal grandfather and never will for the same reason. You have the right to protect your child, and no responsibility to allow your BD's sister's fiance to be around your child.

SkyKid45
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Fiance's Family

There is an issue like that with one of Eric's family members. That person is not allowed to be around Eric without MY supervision, I don't care how long ago it was or how much the person has changed, they will never be around my child by themself. There are some things you can do for family members, but put your child in harms way should not be one of them. I do not think you are wrong in any way. It is sick that someone would wonder why you wouldn't want your child around a person like that in the first place.

mynolam334
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Fiance's Family

I agree with everybody. You can "compromise" and be nice at the dinner table, but if you aren't comfortable leaving your child alone with this person, then don't do it. You're the mother, and no one can fault you for your decisions regarding your child's safety.

acrane86
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Fiance's Family

Yeah everyone herehas already said what I would say.

Keep the little one away from the sex offender. I can show you links of info stating how difficult/nearly impossible it is to rehabilitate a sex offender....You are right, and as stated...its not liek she didnt know what she was getting into.

MIL are a pain in the ass sometimes. I have an evil one. She did the same....was realyl nice to me until I gave birth, then went back to her old ways. I still dont know how to deal with this woman. but hey, i know where you are coming from.

texasma88
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Fiance's Family

Thank you everyone. That makes me feel alot better. I like im on such uneven ground with his family since they are so diffrent then mine. I grew up protected and sheltered but BD had it way to rough and his mom turned hard. Thanks again.