Okay, I didn't know where else to put this, so I put it here.
From what I've observed on this forum, we have women come here, and say things like "I'm pregnant, and I don't know what to do, and"
a. abortion is not an option
b. I don't want an abortion
c. I don't think I could handle abortion
d. any other way of saying the above 3 statements.
This results in the very next poster saying "why can't you handle abortion?/why don't you want an abortion?" Which ALWAYS leads to an anti choice or borderline antichoice comment (ie, I'm all for the right to choose, I just don't think I could do it), which leads to the next poster saying "hold up, we're a prochoice site" And oftentimes this leads to arguments with BRAND NEW members as to what's prochoice, what isn't, often causing new posters to leave.
What I'm saying here is, we all know that second anti/borderline anti comment is coming. It's kind of like we're picking the weak ones out of the herd. Only the posters strong enough to handle a callout in the first few days of posting get to stick around.
Now, I see a callout being necessary if a woman says abortion is not an option, it is an option and just as valid as any other, or more blatant anti statements, but if a girl says she just doesn't want an abortion, she doesn't think she can handle it (which leaves me thinking it takes more strength to abort and face all the stigma than she has available to her), or she doesn't think it's the right choice for her, why don't we leave it at that instead of asking her to explain herself, thereby baiting her into saying things we can call her out about? I think in conjuction with this site being safe for women who've had abortions, we also need to be safe for women who want to make a different choice and need support as teen mamas, and not question them as to their reasons. Let them stick around, let them find out through experience here that abortion is a valid choice, necessary for all women and there's nothing wrong with it. Calling them out, that's not going to change their views the way it would happen if they stayed here and unlearned the stigmas associated with abortion.
I know there are quite a few posters here who changed their minds about abortion through the course of posting and reading. Now I'm not saying don't call anyone out just because they're new. Sometimes it's necessary, when they're using language like "I'm prochoice, just not for myself" implying that they hold themselves to a higher standard or something like that. I just don't think we need to call out every single girl who posts that says she doesn't want an abortion, we don't know why she doesn't want one, but the simple fact that she doesn't should be enough. We wouldn't ask a girl to explain why she wants one, we shouldn't ask them to explain why they don't, either.