I haven't posted here for a few months, but I've been reading and trying to keep up.
One of my friends Michelle has super-conservative beliefs about homosexuality, abortion, etc. She strictly abides by the values of the catholic church, and refuses to acknowledge that other points of view even exist.
She has asked me to be in her bridal party for her wedding next May. We have been close friends for a really long time, so I said yes. I'm having a hard time agreeing with her beliefs, though I do want Michelle to be happy, so I've been laying low on voicing my opinions, because I know she's not going to change her mind.
I guess what I'm asking is...maybe I need to develop some coping mechanisms so that when she gets all opinionated I can ignore what she's saying and not let it bother me. She is aware that my views are pretty much the opposite of hers, and we know which topics we need to stay away from. Does anyone else have any friends like this? I love her a lot and want to keep being her friend, but she makes it so hard sometimes!
if you are able to maintain a relationship with such conflicting personal beliefs, i think it is important to abide by the "let's agree to disagree" mantra.
if you feel like she is unable to do this, in the moment you could tell her you feel she is disrespecting you and your beliefs and it would be best to honor each other's differences and not talk about the things you both know can set the other one off.
it's almost like pressing that red button even though you know the outcome... and it's hard when you both have strong, passionate beliefs because you want to share and teach and learn and debate.
good luck<3
I used to have a friend like that until I got pregnant and told her. She's a strict believer of "no sex until marriage", so she went off on me. We're no longer friends. :?
One of my best friends is pro-gay marriage, gay rights, but she's extremely against abortion and voted for Bush in 2004. We both know how we feel about different subjects and don't talk about it much ... unless we get kinda buzzed off of wine or something, haha :)
But we understand that we probably won't change each other's minds, so we don't try or don't even talk about it, like I said ...
She's fairly open-minded on most issues and we've been friends for almost 10 years ... we get along awesomely besides that ...
I know what you're talking about, but i'm sort of on the other side of the fence, haha :D I've only very recently discovered that i'm more conservative than I once thought. I still think everyone has the right to believe whatever they want though, and I respect them. I think you can definitely keep the friendship going, as long as neither of you are trying to push your beliefs on the other. I know it's really hard to keep your mouth shut in certain situations, like if you hear someone being prejudice or disrespectful. If a situation occurs seldomly, you should be able to politely tell her that you're offended and ask that she doesn't do/say those things around you. If it happens really often...maybe you should re-think the friendship.
I try not to be around people like that at all. It's hard for me to silence my beliefs, or ignore someone that I KNOW doesn't respect my body. It's just such a huge part of who I am.
I had a friend recently who kept claiming to be prochoice, but kept saying antichoice (and INCREDIBLY offensive, by anyone's standards (except maybe the profoundly antichoice)) comments. Finally I told him he needed to watch his language, he wasn't the only one dealing with things he was bringing up and while I was trying to be understanding, I couldn't tolerate it anymore. He stopped visiting, but I really don't consider it a loss at all.
I have a few friends that don't have the same political beliefs as me. For the most part I just try not to bring stuff up, and if something does get brought up I try to be respectful because even though I may not agree with them they are entitled to their opinion.
i agree with everyone else really. i have a couple of friends who do not share my views at all and we just don't talk about it. sometimes its hard because things can come up in every day conversation and its hard to avoid certain issues. if its really bad and its making you uncomfortable though, i would ust advise you to not spend so much time with this girl.
Trying to debate your completely differing views with someone you really care about ususally doesn't end well. Discussing politics and religion most definitely can end friendships. That being said, you have to stay true to your heart and I think you'd be well within your limits to tell her, "I love you but...if we keep arguing, it will ruin our friendship." It may not be a big blowout, but you may gradually be estranged. If you're really important to each other, you can find a way to make it work if you just stick to things that you actually have in common.
I struggle with this alot too, although not as much as I used to because as I get older, I tend to associate with people with the same political beleifs as me. Trying to avoid the topics is best, if you really dont think that you can have a conversation that doesnt involve hurt feelings. On a side note, two of my uncles had an argument about politics and such when they were drinking, and they havent talked since. Its been 8 years. Moral of the story: dont get into it when you've been drinking!
My father and step mom are very much against abortion, homosexuality, teen pregnancy, etc. They say these are religious beliefs.
I just stand my ground. I tell them my honest opinion and if they don't like it, oh well.
People like that are extremely ignorant. By no means am I insulting your friend. I just mean that she's quick to judge and stereotype. She doesn't look at the whole picture. Just what she believes to be negative.
You could try debating and attempt to educate, but sometimes, no matter what, people don't budge.