ok, so im in a sorta weird situation right now. my ex (Tim) (we were together for about 1 yr) just bought a house. we are still really good friends. anyways i have the option as moving in with him JUST AS FRIENDS. we'd have seperate rooms and all of that.
But here i am wondering if i should do it. i have started packing and what not.. i made a list of good things and bad things that could happen:
good:
stability
save money
help with the girls
free babysitter :P
not being alone
bad:
if i leave the place im in (geared to income housing) i wont be able to afford to move out of his place and get my own.
he has said he would help me get my own place if i decided to move out and is willing to do up a contract..
i have NO idea what to put in the contract..
i already told him that what i bring into the house, i take with me if i leave..
what do you girls think?
I think if you can be roomates, that would be awesome.... But think about what you want in the contract before hand... and think about it for awhile.
I think it sounds pretty cool actually!
DO you think he's trying to get you back??? I mean he may say, just as friends, but he might be trying to spark new feelings....
i need advice as to what to put in the contract. we move nov. 1... i know its coming up quick. i dont think he is trying to get me back, i have been very specific about us just being room mates and if he wants to date he can, hes adamnt he doesnt want to date anyone, but said i can. so i dunno.
any ideas on what to put in the contract??
ok, here is what i have so far:
In the event that living in the same household does not work out, everything that has been listed in List 1, will come with me.
In the event that living in the same household does not work out, I am able to stay in the shared residence until I am able to obtain suitable and affordable housing.
I will be paying $200 a month rent and that will not change during the duration of us living together unless we have agreed otherwise.
Our bedrooms are our personal space, we will not enter each others bedrooms under any circumstances unless permission is given by other party.
There will be no physical punishment to either Jaiden ****** *******-**** or Emma ****** ******* by Timothy ******* *****
There will be no negative talk about Alan ******* **** in front of, or in the presence of Jaiden ****** *******-**** or Emma ****** *******
There will be no verbal or physical confrontation between Timothy ******* ***** and Alan ******* **** at the residence of ** ********** **** **** ******
*= are used to cover up entire names and addresses :)
that sounds good
all parenting technigues are decided by yourself and he has to follow them out .
also how are food and utilities being paid? I would put that in there like who pays what %. and who parks where and who cleans .. etc
ok i have added a few more
i am not going to copy and paste them because i have to do the *** all over again and im lazy lol
they are basically i can date whomever i want and so can he without either party getting offended or revengeful
household chores split up (and listed)
anything obtained during the duration of co-habitation will be split if i move out
i am going to add the one of disipline in right now..
any other ideas?
also he pays all the bills except my cell , i pay half of groceries (thats the 200 i pay a month)
i am pretty much getting a free ride. but its to help me save $$ to be able to afford something nicer.
i will also put about the bills too
any other ideas?
That he's saying he doesn't want to date anyone seems like a red flag to me, and I'd probably question him a bit about why he doesn't want to date anyone before the move, if I were you.
I know you aren't in a relationship with him, but I'd look at a book called Unmarried to Each Other...they have great ideas about making agreements for cohabitating couples that could *easily* be applied to roommates.
I think it sounds like a good idea. Follow your gut instinct.
i have questioned him on the whole he doesnt want to date anyone, and i think its mainly he just isnt into it right now. hes had his heart broken twice and just doesnt want to go down that road right now again. i am sure eventually he will try again.
i guess a fall back plan is if things dont work out, i can move into my moms temperarly. shes in a two bedroom so it might be a bit tough for living conditions but if need be i could do that until i get on my feet. i am sure it is workable to be ok but its just scary to think im giving up what i have to take a chance.
i know in my heart of hearts he wouldnt screw me over. he has done ALOT for me and cares about the girls and i. i know he is just trying to help me save some money because he is tired of seeing me upset due to not being able to pay all my bills, things getting shut off and me a total mess.
in the back of my mind its always the what if i get there and he is controling and wont let me do anything etc.. but then i remind myself, ill leave. i am very stubborn and hard headed about things and i wont take alot of shit. i have a job that if need be i can go full time,,, plus i am in school so I can make it work hopefully!