I signed up today to drive to Albany tomorrow (2+ hours away) to take a 4 hour test that determines whether or not I'll be accepted in to the Grad program here.
I feel hopeless. There is too much crap going on, yet I don't have a choice. I have to take them to get *A* score, any score, because without them, I will not even be considered.
I just feel like shit because it cost $130 that I never had, but especially don't now (I charged it, almost maxing out my card). And I am totally unprepared for this exam. It is serious business and I have suprised myself at how mediocre I have done on the few practice questons I did tonight.
Yet, I can't NOT apply for this Spring... there are too many implications- financially and otherwise if I don't go. Plus it would be a waste of almost 8 months. Sophia is established at the childcare center and I don't want to uproot her. I need to be a student to get the grant that pays for her to be there.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I am LOSING it. ALL of it.
Well, this is purely a ramble... just keep me in your thoughts tomorrow afternoon.