Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs.
Being poor is getting angry at your kids for asking for all the crap they see on TV.
Being poor is having to keep buying $800 cars because they're what you can afford, and then having the cars break down on you, because there's not an $800 car in America that's worth a damn.
Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away.
Being poor is knowing your kid goes to friends' houses but never has friends over to yours.
Being poor is going to the restroom before you get in the school lunch line so your friends will be ahead of you and won't hear you say "I get free lunch" when you get to the cashier.
Being poor is living next to the freeway.
Being poor is coming back to the car with your children in the back seat, clutching that box of Raisin Bran you just bought and trying to think of a way to make the kids understand that the box has to last.
Being poor is wondering if your well-off sibling is lying when he says he doesn't mind when you ask for help.
Being poor is off-brand toys.
Being poor is a heater in only one room of the house.
Being poor is knowing you can't leave $5 on the coffee table when your friends are around.
Being poor is hoping your kids don't have a growth spurt.
Being poor is stealing meat from the store, frying it up before your mom gets home and then telling her she doesn't have make dinner tonight because you're not hungry anyway.
Being poor is Goodwill underwear.
Being poor is not enough space for everyone who lives with you.
Being poor is feeling the glued soles tear off your supermarket shoes when you run around the playground.
Being poor is your kid's school being the one with the 15-year-old textbooks and no air conditioning.
Being poor is thinking $8 an hour is a really good deal.
Being poor is relying on people who don't give a damn about you.
Being poor is an overnight shift under florescent lights.
Being poor is finding the letter your mom wrote to your dad, begging him for the child support.
Being poor is a bathtub you have to empty into the toilet.
Being poor is stopping the car to take a lamp from a stranger's trash.
Being poor is making lunch for your kid when a cockroach skitters over the bread, and you looking over to see if your kid saw.
Being poor is believing a GED actually makes a goddamned difference.
Being poor is people angry at you just for walking around in the mall.
Being poor is not taking the job because you can't find someone you trust to watch your kids.
Being poor is the police busting into the apartment right next to yours.
Being poor is not talking to that girl because she'll probably just laugh at your clothes.
Being poor is hoping you'll be invited for dinner.
Being poor is a sidewalk with lots of brown glass on it.
Being poor is people thinking they know something about you by the way you talk.
Being poor is needing that 35-cent raise.
Being poor is your kid's teacher assuming you don't have any books in your home.
Being poor is six dollars short on the utility bill and no way to close the gap.
Being poor is crying when you drop the mac and cheese on the floor.
Being poor is knowing you work as hard as anyone, anywhere.
Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually stupid.
Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually lazy.
Being poor is a six-hour wait in an emergency room with a sick child asleep on your lap.
Being poor is never buying anything someone else hasn't bought first.
Being poor is picking the 10 cent ramen instead of the 12 cent ramen because that's two extra packages for every dollar.
Being poor is having to live with choices you didn't know you made when you were 14 years old.
Being poor is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.
Being poor is knowing you're being judged.
Being poor is a box of crayons and a $1 coloring book from a community center Santa.
Being poor is checking the coin return slot of every soda machine you go by.
Being poor is deciding that it's all right to base a relationship on shelter.
Being poor is knowing you really shouldn't spend that buck on a Lotto ticket.
Being poor is hoping the register lady will spot you the dime.
Being poor is feeling helpless when your child makes the same mistakes you did, and won't listen to you beg them against doing so.
Being poor is a cough that doesn't go away.
Being poor is making sure you don't spill on the couch, just in case you have to give it back before the lease is up.
Being poor is a $200 paycheck advance from a company that takes $250 when the paycheck comes in.
Being poor is four years of night classes for an Associates of Art degree.
Being poor is a lumpy futon bed.
Being poor is knowing where the shelter is.
Being poor is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be so.
Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.
Being poor is seeing how few options you have.
Being poor is running in place.
Being poor is people wondering why you didn't leave.
Word. that was beautiful in the worst way.
so many of those got me thinking about my childhood... theres so many truths there.
Did you write that Kaya? It's well thought out - the title is really good.
One of the worst things about this world is that things cost more for poor people than they do for rich people ( as far as stuff that looks at credit is concerned.)
I saw this sign for different medical practices, and if you could pay all at once the prcedure cost half as much.
i'm so sorry, i forgot the link to the author. its really late and i am half asleep but wanted to post that while i'm online. i'm sorry that i didn't say that right out though, that person deserves credit for such honest words.
this is where i got it from:
http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/003704.html
it very much describes my life.
thanks for posting that. opens my eyes.
and makes me relate to certain things.
<relates to most of it.. in my childhood or now..
wow.. causes a lot of emotions..
lots of emotions when I read that thanks Kaya as always for posting something so wonderful.
Yeah, so many of those are me. Thanks for posting this. :)
I wasn't poor growing up but most of those things relate to our current situation.
The 'working overnight under florescent lights' and thinking $8 an hour is pretty good really hits home after having just spent the last week working till 2 and 3am, then coming home to only get 3 hours sleep before the kids wake up just so we can *maybe* afford to have a nice Giftmas this year.....
*sigh*
This was awesome. I am going to miss the Mpls mamas, we try to get together for potlucks, exchanging toys (me & kat were talking of this), get togethers for movies, ... just little things like this helps us all save money.
Loved this kaya. Thanks.
i can relate with you right there. this was me last year and im privelages now to not be there. i get scared about having to go back. it hurts inside and i hope i dont. good luck mama. everything be ok.
Thanks Kelly ;)
I actually feel pretty good about it. I feel empowered by doing what I feel is the right thing for my family, even if I am a little tired and a lot sore at the end (or beginning) of the day.
i so agree with you on that. when i was working my day job and at the club at night people would say so much shit to me(like family and even the nerve he had my BD) and i felt like crap at first and then i thought WTF! im doing this to take care of me and my son. i dont get child support. im doing this on my own. so your right it makes you feel good and strong in a way :)
i too have been there I hated it and am so glad that I am not in that situation anymore. good luck mama it will get better.
Thanks for posting this, Kaya.
This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for posting this, kaya.
That makes me want to go home and hug my mama, because almost every single fucking one reminded me of her with us when we were little, and even the majority of the time now.
Ugh.
so true.
That is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read, in the saddest sort of way....
Thanks for posting Kaya, you really made me check myself.
so depressing yet so beautiful....thanks! <3
wow that was great and sad at the same time. about 90 percent of that i have personally experianced and its just sorta nice to hear someone else say it, what we all feel and experiance.
the one that got me was the one about making a relationship work for the sake of shelter. people all around me realize how terrible my relationship with my childs father is but they just insist i leave him and cant understand why i stay, it hurts to have people tell you " its just that simple" when they have no idea how complicated it is.
God, I don't know how I missed this the first time around. I've been there. I grew up there. I dumped the tub into the toilet, the tub that didn't have hot water. Matt spent the first two winters of his life with everyone living in our bedroom because we had the kerosene heater and we all pretended not to notice the smell or that it soaked into all of our clothes, and me praying no one ever found out and took him from me. When I was a kid, I saw a roach in my mac and cheese and just ate around it so my sisters wouldn't know and freak out and want something else, because there was nothing else to eat.
God. I didn't know anyone else knew this stuff. I never stopped to think that maybe the other kids that looked worse or dressed worse than even I did wearing a single pair of stonewashed jeans for a full week, that maybe those kids knew this stuff too.
And the next time that little girl down the block asks if she can stay for dinner, I'm going to let her. We don't have much, but I'm going to let her.
This post was right on point! I can relate to most of the examples given. I just want to add more to the list not sure if mentioned already.
Being poor is...
Knowing who is in the Welfare Office for the "first time"
Gettin to know who the person is that can really answer question about progams or your apps.
i remember the brown glass on the streets when we were in the shelter and everyone never having enough to make ends meet but always having cigaretts 'cause they helped us make it throught he day and we couldn't drink whem the kids