my daughter has recently discovered that not all relationships are heterosexual. whenever i've dated anyone male or female, i've never really had to explain anything to her, they were always just "mummy's friend" and that was that. but my gay friend brought his new boyfriend round to my house recently and and meghan saw them kissing in the hall. she didn't say anything at the time but after they left, she was like, "mum, why was ronni kissing another boy?" so i explained that some people love people of the same gender and some people love people of the opposite gender and some people love people of both genders but it doesn't matter cos love is a good thing and it doesn't matter what gender you are.
she didn't like this. i'm not sure if it's just a phase where she thinks that everyone kissing is disgusting but she's got it into her head that being gay is "silly" and she "hates it". you wouldn't believe how much this is stressing me out. she brings it up quite a lot and every time i just try to reinforce that its ok to love people of the same gender but she wont let me talk. if i try to say anything, she'll just start yelling and laughing over the top of me and putting her fingers in her ears.
and then sometimes - and its always in the most innapropriate places - she'll just randomly shout "I'M GAY!" and that can get pretty embarrassing. my mum and other family think this is terrible and that she shouldn't even know what the word "gay" means. i think if she's old enough to ask, she's old enough to be told. i'm not out to my family though as they are such homophobes so i can't say anything really.
i'm really hoping this is a phase, but how do i get her to see that being gay is perfectly okay?
read heather has two mommies with her. theres another one with i think a boy named david who has two daddies, but i'm not sure. heather is one rad lil girl though.
being gay, as you know, isn't just about sexuality. there is more to gay people than who they prefer to make out with. along with reading the books, could you show her pictures of gay families? normalize it, because it is normal and her reaction shows she doesn't see it as such. could your friend and his partner go out for ice cream with you two? do something together, that would show them in a gay relationship that doesn't just revolve around kissing.
she was probably really surprised to see them kissing, and maybe it shocked her or something. figure out what about that incident has made her react so strongly. it could be anything, but asking her "what did it make you feel like when you saw them kissing?" and exploring the feelings she reveals (ie: "how was it was so disgusting?"). shes entitled to her feelings and that is one area you can't ever successfully debate with anyone, but it'd be a good place to start looking for areas you can inject reason.
good luck, let us konw how it goes.
Maybe the book Kaya's referring to is Daddy's roommate. I haven't read it, but Heather has 2 Mommies is a good one :)