Well...I'm 14 weeks LMP. My BD (25 y.o.) I've been friends with nearly 4 years and we've been in almost an affair for nearly a year. He has a g/f he's been in a relationship for nearly 9 years but hasn't felt he's in love with for the past 5 years so he says. Well yes...sadly sometimes you get caught up in your own feelings and I never thought I would be capable of having an affair like this...
In every relationship prior I was the girl on the other end once it was for two years but being so caught up in our feelings for eachother I became one of those girls we all hate and I apologize.
Like 3 months into it he told me he loved me. I wasn't in love with him yet just infatuated but I told him I love him too. Same night he told his g/f about me and everythings thats been going on and naturally it was hell. I got pregnant and it ended up a miscarriage mostly because of work, wonderland and not eating sometimes i suppose. He took care of me brought me soup in the middle of the night when my appetite was shot. Very sweet and all. He was sad when I lost it and all that.
Anyways, we stopped for a while...and he told his g/f we stopped but that lasted about a week. When we look in eachothers eyes we just forget where we are. We'd walk through the city holding hands like it ain't no secret. Then we once again continued. During this whole time my ex harassed me, stressed me out, and even treatened me and kidnapped me. So it put a damper on things.
Anyways, so one night my BD told me that he really wished we had that baby. How he really wants one. So us being stupid and not thinking about anyone but ourselves forgetting this is an affair went and got pregnant like dummies.
So I tell him and he gets excited from the minute I told him he's trying to pick out names...lol like 3 days after a missed period so I just let him go ahead and be happy. Since I knew the oh..oh...my g/f came up.
Well like two weeks later my ex found out about him and how I might be pregnant and kidnapped me and threatened to kill me if i don't tell him where my BD lives and works. I refused to tell him and he couldn't do it so he let me go. A week later I found out he was heavily on drug and mental sick being pregnant and emotional I cried to my BD about it and he knows I'm not big on crying.
After that everything got weid...It put a big damper on things. First he was wondering if I was stupid how could I cry over someone that kidnaps me, treats me disrespectful, would hit me and rape me. Which he was fully right for thinking because he deserves whatever he gets.
After that my BD started suggesting an abortion but said he's here for me if I decide to keep it. Then he told me we couldn't see eachother anymore. I argued about it for a while told him he was making a big mistake but then he told me he wasn't in love with me anymore and I let it go. I went to the clinic to do all the test for an abortion but the day I was scheduled for the dialation I couldn't do it.
So...we still talk we're friends but I don't call him anymore he doesn't call me we just text eachother like its msn. I stopped telling him I miss him and everything. Then two days ago while I was out shopping for some interview clothing he texted me saying he missed my company. I didn't see since the day we went to the abortion clinic for the test and that day we did the stare into eachothers eyes thing and he said he misses me.
When we're apart he's stronger and I get weak than me but when he sees me he's weaker and I'm strong. On the phone I'll say I miss him and he won't say it back and in person he says he misses me but I won't say it back. It's odd I know.
Anyways...I've decided to keep it and I'm doing it not depending on him to be there but he's a responsible guy. Sometimes I even influence him not to be to make his life easier. But then he asks me what kind of man would he be if wasn't there for child? I just don't respond.
Anyways we aren't together. He's afraid to see me he says and wouldn't until today. I lured him in my bathroom through the window and had a shower quickey...Afterwards he kissed me on the cheek a few times and said he missed me and how he's been acting like a dog to me and his g/f and how I should hate him but everything will be okay, we'll find away to work things out. I just kissed him on the cheek and told him I know.
Right now our biggest concern isn't even the baby which is sad. It's him telling his g/f, telling his family he's gonna be a daddy but not by his g/f who he lives with and me telling my family. We're in such a mess. Hopefully she doesn't kill him but I wouldn't blame her for murdering both of us right now...oh what a tangled web we weave...