I'm so sick and tired of the stigma that people with mental illness face. On one side, you have people arguing that your illness doesn't even exist, that you should suck it up and be normal. On the other side you have people saying that anyone with a mental illness is dangerous, has an obligation to everyone else around them to take medication that may or may not even help, and cannot possibly be good parents. And on top of it all...we are blamed for our mental illness. It's our fault somehow.
Fuck that, anyone who's never experienced mental illness cannot possibly know that it "doesn't exist" or that this medicine actually helps, doesn't make the person feel even worse. Stop telling us that we feel this way because we don't eat right, or don't excercise enough. Yea, I know these things can help you feel better...but often over/under eating and no interest in exercise are a symptom, not the cause of the problem.
We are told not to talk about our problem, nobody wants to hear it. When we get into a conversation about it, we are quieted by a variety of methods..."I don't believe in depression", "Well, I was depressed for two weeks, and I got over it...you can to".."well, why aren't you taking your meds?". Even on GM, when the topic of depression comes up, there's always an attempt to quiet it.
If we, as mamas, try to reach out for help with our illnes...we get social workers called on us..they tell us we're unfit mothers for being sick...some have even had their children taken away. More often than not, we aren't offered the help we need to make things better, we are just given more BS to deal with. If our meds don't work, we are taking it wrong, or we must be missing doses. Or we reach out to our family and friends, and they say nothing...there's such a cloud of silence around mental illness that they feel they can't communicate with us about it...and often silence us at the very moment we need their help.
I've heard some nasty comments since the VA Tech tragedy about the fact that the suspect had a mental illness and was hospitalized for it...about how these things should be kept on file, and then they would know who was at risk. That scares me. What if they started keeping that on your school record...and refused to allow you into high school, college, or could use that against you when trying to get a job. I know it's against the law now, and a human right's violation .... but could it be done...as a sort of internal "patriot act" in the interest of the safety of the masses? Could they just keep pushing until we aren't welcome in society at all again?
thank you SO MUCH for posting this.
I think it's great that taking medication and other medical interventions you've sought have been beneficial to you. I think the flip side, though, reminds me of lastchance's post on SI - her being labeled as having a disorder when she refused to identify as such. I think a lot of the people who argue that mental illness doesn't exist more vehemently comes from people who have been labeled as such against their will and found forced medical intervention - whether it be hospitalization or forced drugging - incredibly harmful.
I agree, though, that it would be horrible if they started keeping records on who has been hospitalized, since the stigma *is* huge. I think people on both sides of the spectrum - the anti-psychiatry crowd and the pro-psychiatry crowd - would agree.
Whoa...wait a second. Where did I say that medication OR medical intervention has been the least bit beneficially to me? I must be having a really hard time articulating myself, because I was suggesting the total opposite. That I'm sick and fucking tired of when I tell someone that I'm depressed, them telling me to "go back on my meds"...those meds that have done nothing but make anything worse.
And that's exactly what I was trying to get at, that forced medication and hospitalization and harrassing mamas because they have a mental illness, threatening to take their kids away, are NOT helpful. They are a huge part of the problem...and the idea that everybody with a mental illness needs medication and has a responisibility to society as a whole to take it is extremely damaging.
Yeah,
Did you know that in Ontario, if you have attempted suicide, it goes on your Police Check?
My program for school requires that Criminal Record Check, and a Classmate of mine got her record back, and THERE it was. I was in total disbeleif. I think it is horrible. Imagine, strugglign with depression, and sucide, and then gettign yourself into school, and working your ass off. Then, find that you are going to have a difficult time finding a feild placement, because of your mental illness. I think its redicolous personally, and i dont understand the need to put that shit on a criminal record.
Read her post again, boigrrlwonder, I think you may have midunderstood what she was saying. I didn't see her advocating medical interventions at all. I saw her advocating people - people who are too often told to be silent in some way or another, whether it be by saying "your illness doesn't exist" or "you just need to take more meds" or something else. These are all equally harmful because they silence the person suffering and dodge the issue.
You're right. What I read from your post seems to be different from what you were trying to say. I'm sorry.
WTF? Ummm...do you know anything else about this other than from what happened to your classmate? Like...when did they start doing that, and if that would show up on a record check done out of province, but the attempt was in ON...and if it happened as a youth, it would be sealed eventually?
Because I'm seriously freaking out about that. I live in BC now, but I was hospitalized under Form 1 in ON for a suicide attempt as a teenager. I've never had a reason to get a police check, so I wouldn't know if it's on there or not...
That's just fucking wrong...that's nobody else's business. I knew I was "arrested", but I guess I didn't realise it could actually be put ON my record. Shit.
i'm not sure about canadian law but my hubby was arrested when he attempted suicide in the us. it wasn't because of the suicide though but because he said he didn't take enough pills to kill him and refused medical treatment. the cops beat him up and he attempted to free himself from their grasp, not retaliate. he was put in jail. he's got a court date in a couple weeks. yeah, any time you're arrested it goes on your reccord. maybe you can check and see if it's a juvinile reccord though. i think that might be sealed there just as it is here when you reach your legal majority. it's just gross that they can do that to people!
that is just wrong. It is not ANYONE else's buisiness! it is EXTREAMY personal and having it put on record is sooo disrespectful...
Will it be out there forever?
I feel the same way, and because of people being over-diagnosed, wrongly diagnosed, or being labeled against thier will, there is even a bigger issue of struggle, because mental illness is such a complex thing...and people are so often misunderstood. I would like to make a cross reference to a badly articulated post that I made about post partum depression, in which I expressed that "ppd is a load of crap", in cloud of frustration, when what i really wanted to express was my frustration with the idea that when women experience anything outside society's expectations of how we should act, we are stamped on the forehead with a label, rather than addressing the complexity and difficulty of birthing and raising children in a society that is still relatively unresponsive to mothers and women's role in creating humanity. If a man gets into a barfight and smashes a bottle, he is just being a "typical male". If a woman shows this kind of behavior, she is immediately assumed to be out of control, over-agressive, etc. etc. Similarly, when a man becomes a new father, and suddenly becomes depressed and has difficulty coping with the transition of the role that he plays, and the realization that his life is going to be different, he is not labeled "post fatherhood depressive". I think this kind of reaction formed by the status quo is a double edged sword, and people dont see that.
This is late coming, but I just wanted to add about that whole police record thing. I don't have a police record, but I have been hospitalized for bi-polar three times since having my son.
The first time, there was a mandatory social services report, which I understand completely, I mean, I was manic to the point of being hospitalized. I was actually going through a paranoid delusional episode, and called social services on myself several times. ( oi, what was I going through)
Anyhow, that was four years ago. I am a nursing student. For many of my placements, I need a child protection ( or whatever it's called, I haven't had my coffee yet) check done.
And there it is. I was hospitalized for a mental illness, and had a child welfare report done. People who are hiring aren't exactly beating down my door. Even though nothing came of them getting involved, it shows that I have a mental illness, and have had problems in the past. People aren't exactly beating down my door to offer me jobs.
Never mind the fact that I've managed to get through school as a single parent with no help whatsoever, work when I'm able, and deal with this extra struggle. They just see " crazy".
Hannah that is so awful, I am sorry you have to put up with that. It is so terrible because this sort of thing will just make people not want to seek help..
here is a great example-
when i was 13 or 14 i was depressed....... i was taken to many different shrinks and drs. my parents forced me to go into a hospital all i had done was a few minor cuts on my arm....... and all i said was i felt sad/depressed a lot..... which from that they "diagnosed" me as bi-polar, and PTSD . they put me on 3 different medications which made my skin break out and made my face all puffy and swollen looking...... none of it helped my depression , only made it worse bc i looked bad. i was young and i didnt stand up for myself when i was wrongly diagnosed and medicated, bc they just listened to what my parents said was wrong and not what i had to say.
i am on no medication and havent been for 5 years and i am coping ok.
I have been diagnosed with several things and am currently on a low dosage of Lexipro, which has made my life so much better than it was. I am certainly not advocating that everyone go on meds, or that people deal with their mental health in certain ways, but I think that it's important that we recognize that folks have their own ways of dealing and those are valid.
I have had depression since I was 10, and after being stoned the entire time I was in highschool, I began to search for other ways of dealing with my shit. I tried meditation, yoga, acupuncture, changing my diet, just dealing with it, etc. etc. etc. When I became pregnant with Zoe I was so depressed that I was suicidal. I had a plan to kill myself when Zoe was born.
After she was born, things evened out a bit. I believe that I had post-partum depression, but it was so much better than the depression that I was experiencing during my pregnancy that it went undiagnosed. After four years of continuing to try to find other ways of dealing with my mental health, other than meds, I tried meds. They have changed my life, and I wish that I had tried them years earlier.
I'm telling this story because I feel like a lot of these posts are super anti-meds. I am not an advocate for medication for everyone. I don't think that it should be pushed down people's throats, and that people need to come up with their own ways of coping. But, one of the big reasons that I refused to try meds earlier is because of the stigma associated with that. Many of my friends are, legitimatly, anti meds. We grew up in a culture where prozac and ritilain were given to any kid who showed any sort of behavior that wasn't considered "normal". Our aversian to medication which directly affects how our brains work comes from watching our friends become Zombies.
But, medications have a place and a time, and can be amazingly useful. I do not consider myself to be weaker because I am taking them. I have found inner strength that the fog of my depression did not allow me to see.
Sorry this is so rambling. I clearly have a lot of thoughts about it.
My OP was definately not intended to be anti-meds. But, that stigma is exactly what I'm talking about, like depression or whatever is all in your head and you should be able to handle it yourself. Nobody would tell you that taking medication for cancer, or any other physical illness was a sign of "weakness"...ummm, yea, depression and other mental illnesses ARE physical, there's no difference juts because it happens to affect your mind.
My personal experience seems to be the opposite of yours, I was on different anti-depressants for about 7 years, I tried almost all of them and they do NOT work for me, I wish they did, I would have no problem taking them myself. I just HATE that people tell me when I'm depressed to just take some anti-depressants, because for me the side effects are much worse than the depression.
I take medication. For me, I put up with the zombie like state and weight gain, rather than thinking that someone is breaking into my house all the time, or keeping my curtains closed and not leaving the house for days. Not good.
It did take me years though, to find some that worked. There were many that made things 100% worse. I understand what that's like completely.
There is a stigma around mental illness though. If I could only count how many times people have said to me, " just think positive" " It's all a state of mind" . It took me years to accept that I actually had an illness, and that it wasn't something I could control on my own. Now I have to make other people understand.
That being said though, I find that taking anti-depressants is completely socially acceptable. And I can say " I have bi-polar" and most people don't even bat an eye. It's almost hip, you know.
If I try to explain to people what actually goes on with me though, and I'm truthful about it, I'm seen as self pitying, or looking for attention.
And what's even worse, when I do actually go through an intense manic phase or depression, then people are scared of me, avoid me, or wonder what the heck is going on. Even though I've already told them.
They don't understand that it's not so easy to just take some pills and deal with it. I went through a rough time this winter and my roommate kept telling me to go and fill my prescription. ( which was, he just has this idea that it's that simple.)
So that's what frustrates me. People can be on anti-depressants, but when they have a mental illness that actually changes their perceptions or how they behave, they are still " crazy" and that's not accepted at all.