a road less traveled.

This thread is what prompted me to become a member of this site. I think I have read almost every single-mom story, and was teary eyed the entire time. Not out of pity or sadness, but proud of what we can overcome.

I also want to put my story out there. I didn't read one like it, and I hope that it will help someone in one way or another...

My BF was a one night thing. I was heart broken over an ex, and was looking for something to numb the pain. We had met through a roommate search site. I needed a room mate closer to my job. He was very attractive and we hit it off. So a couple weeks later a drunken phone call was made. It was *awesome* :) But I intended it to be a one night deal.

I was a heavy smoker at the time, and thought it strange when I started to puke at the thought of smoking. I truly did not think that I was prego, but I took the test to humor my friends. Well, the sucker lit up like a Christmas tree. So I took another, and another. All I could do was laugh.
I was 20 y/o living on my brothers couch in a one bedroom appt. I could barley take care of myself, let alone a baby.

Few days went by, I called Chris to tell him I needed to talk. When I got to his place I was shaking. I barley knew this man, I didn't even know his last name or how old he was. He turned white as a ghost at the news. He begged me to have an abortion. He kept saying "we can take care of this" but could never say the word "abortion". He promised to be by my side the entire process, and be supportive after. But I couldn't , something in my bones told me this baby was meant to be here. I told him I would do it on my own, and left.

Through the pregnancy (still living on the brother's couch) I tried contacting him a few times. I guess out of loneliness and wishing he would change his mind. He kept telling me that he couldn't be a dad. Eventually I gave up. I had Cayden Joseph June 8th 2006 by c-section. My mom by my side in the OR. She stayed with us in the hospital as well. She gave me the confidence that I could do this alone.

When Cayden was 4 months old I wanted to prove to the BF that Cayden was his, so I arranged a paternity test. That was the first time he met his son. Of course he fell in love, and made all kinds of promises to be there. But with a new g/f, and no drivers license, it made things difficult. Chris floats in and out of our lives as he pleases. And has only given us $300 since Cayden was 4mo. After a really bad fight the other night, I told him to "just go away". Haven't heard from him since. I hope he got the message.

I live with my parents and work full time. In the fall I am going to start college. I want to be a trauma nurse. Every day brings new challenges and drama, but I just have to look at my son and it is all worth it.

I am glad I found this site. I know this was really long, and if you made it this far....thanks. I hope it has helped you somehow. 8)